Best Comparison of the Week

By Keith Olbermann on last night's Countdown (no video unfortunately). Rethuglican / New Confederate Party Sen. Jeff Sessions to a Keebler cookie elf. Frankly, we'd vote for the Keebler elf.

Mid-Week Song

At mid-week, with a long holiday weekend approaching, we've got Friday on our minds. So do the '60s Australian band The Easybeats with a pop confection from 1967.

Kagan 2, Senate Rethugs 0

With two days of hearings on the nomination of Elena Kagan to be a Supreme Court justice over, we're struck with the grasping of the Rethuglican Senators who are trying to dirty her up. Throwing bogus "facts" at her about the Harvard ROTC issue, alleging that she's "anti-military," and attacking her work with former Justice Thurgood Marshall (and by extension Marshall himself) to prove she's a "liberal activist" are all that the Rethugs apparently have, with Kagan's ultimate confirmation almost assured. And they're bumbling and stumbling on the way, trying to get the best of Kagan, who is smarter than the Rethug committee members combined.

We wonder how this hearing plays out among moderate, suburban voters, who are watching one ivory-white, drawling, cornpone Rethug Senator after another attempt to bring Kagan down. It's one more indicator of how the Rethugs have become mostly a regional party, dominated by reactionary Southerners, much as the Dems were in the 40's and 50's with the "Dixecrats."

How's That Igloo Workin' Out For Ya?

You may remember this past February the inbred family of Sen. James "Head-In-Ass" Inhofe (Rethug-Not OK) built this igloo (labeling it "Al Gore's new home") near the Capitol in a hilarious jab at global warming in the midst of this winter's record snowfall in DC. Hahaha!

Meanwhile, we're about to close out the hottest June in history in DC. So, let's round up those In-bred-hofes and pose them in... a large frying pan! Hahaha!

A Death in the Senate

West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd's death this morning at age 92 marks the end of a Senate career that began in January, 1959, and one that ran the gamut from opposition to the 1964 Civil Rights bill to opposition to the Iraq War. As chairman of the Appropriations Committee for many years, Byrd steered billions of dollars to West Virginia over his 51 year career.

If the current assumptions concerning West Virginia law hold, Dem Gov. Joe Manchin will be responsible for appointing someone to fill the remaining two and a half years of Byrd's term, so there should be no change in the balance of seats in the Senate. After that point, it's assumed that Manchin (who won't appoint himself to the interim job) will run for the seat in 2012.

(photo: Associated Press; Byrd at Sen. Ted Kennedy's funeral service)

Time To Call Them Out

From the moment President Obama took office, Rethuglicans in Congress vowed to bring President Obama's economic recovery agenda down, starting with health insurance reform, and damn the national interest. As Sen. Jim "Demented" DeMint (Confederate-SC) phrased it, they wanted to make health insurance reform the President's "Waterloo." With the economic stimulus package, as radio hate-meister Limpballs phrased it, they wanted the President "to fail." Every time Obama sought compromise, and incorporated Rethug suggestions in his economic recovery legislation, they voted against him. The latest evidence is their rejection of extending unemployment benefits legislation.

Now, Theda Skocpol, writing in Talking Points Memo, states what Dems should be doing: calling the Rethugs out for sabotaging needed measures in order to play the savior if they get back in power (shudder):

"The President, Congressional leaders, and Democrats of all stripes should be yelling day in, day out, that REPUBLICANS ARE SABOTAGING NATIONAL ECONOMIC RECOVERY. AND PREVENTING JOB GROWTH, JUST FOR POLITICAL ADVANTAGE. That should be the message all the time, led by the President. Stop the murky compromises and the whining about "helping the unemployed." Stop pretending this is about the deficit -- nothing will hurt the deficit more than delayed economic growth. Say what it happening in terms of the national interest."

Well said, and worth heeding.

BONUS READING: Driftglass gives us an historical overview of the right-wing descent into nihilism and political chicanery (known as "ratf**king") of which the recent Tucker "F**ker" Carlson/ Dave Wiegel episode is just the latest example.

Sunday Morning Reading

Charles Blow wants us to "take the long view" in politics. Since the long view would seem to favor progressives, we'll do just that.

They Said, We Said

From today's Kaplan Daily article by Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz, on Dave Weigel's dismissal as the Daily's blogger ("Right Now") on all things wingnutty:

They (Weigel) said: in private eMails, that Matt "My Life is A" Drudge should "handle his emotional problems more responsibly and set himself on fire;" that conservatives were using the media to "violently, angrily divide America," and news outlets feel the "need to give equal/extra time to 'real American' views, no matter how [expletive] moronic."

We said: OK, so far so good, nothing but the truth.

They (Jim Geraghty, National Review Online) said: "There was definitely a perception that his [Weigel's] blog was designed to make conservatives look bad."

We said: Conservatives need no help from others in looking bad. See 3 1/2 years of blogging below.

They (Kaplan Daily Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli) said: "We don't have the resources or ability to do Supreme Court justice-type investigations into people's backgrounds. We will have to be more careful in the future."

We said: Of course, we wouldn't want to offend any right-wing crackpots, so let the inquisition begin! (Is that the sound of John Peter Zenger spinning in his grave we're hearing?) Mr. Broccoli and your cowardly stenographers - go f**k yourselves...

Saturday Summertime Blues

A week of 90-plus heat with humidity, 17 days and counting of 90-plus temperatures in June, all adding up to the hottest June in DC on record (yo, Igloo Jim Inhofe!). There are any number of songs to commemorate our journey into Washington Summer ("Heat Wave," "Summertime," "Summer in the City"), but we're going with this:

Afternoon Reads

-- Joan McCarter has a good summary of the wins, draws and losses in the financial reform bill passed out of conference committee in the wee hours this morning.

-- Steve Benen covers the Rethugs' obstructing the bill extending unemployment benefits and other stimulus monies, and how selected print media outlets led the story (hint: with one exception, you would never know it was the Rethugs).

Letting His Guard Down

How serious are Rethug officials in the Gulf coast states about cleaning up the oil hitting their beaches and marshes? We know that Mississippi Gov. Haley "Come On Down!" Barbour is in full fabrication / ain't no big deal mode, wanting tourists to come to Mississippi's Gulf shores to enjoy the sun, sand, and crude oil. Now, it's reported by CBS News that Louisiana Rethug Gov. Bobby "Kenneth" Jindal has failed to deploy all 6,000 Louisiana National Guard troops to fight the spill, despite their activation some time ago by President Obama. Meanwhile, he's been getting media time lambasting the Federal government for blocking the troop deployment. Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen says that's not true.

Clearly, Governor Kenneth is trying to have it both ways: appearing to be the "people's Governor" standing up for the fishermen, etc., while dragging his feet and cooperating with BP's attempts to limit press coverage. In other words, typical right-wing political behavior.

(photo: No, this is not a doctored photo)

Quote of the Day

"Look, I went into journalism to do journalism, not advertising. My views are critical but that shouldn't be mistaken for hostile - I'm just not a stenographer. There is a body of work that shows how I view these issues but that was hard-earned through experience, not something I learned going to a cocktail party on fucking K Street. That's what reporters are supposed to do, report the story." -- Michael Hastings, author of the Rolling Stone article that led to Gen. Stanley McChrystal's dismissal.

There's been some cluck-clucking among the Villagers about how this awful hippie publication could have gotten such a scoop on the "legitimate press." Easy. Rolling Stone employs journalists, not political scorekeepers interested in who's in and who's out in the Georgetown cocktail circuit frequented by media Villagers afraid of losing access to the powerful.

(h/t to the Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan)

Kiss Of Death

The media Village's conventional wisdom is that former half-term Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha boosts candidates wherever she goes. Sadly for her right-wing following, a new poll indicates that her appeal is essentially limited to the wingnut base (and the Villagers, of course, who are obsessed with Winky's "magic" touch and her banal "policy" pronouncements via Facebook).

Greg Sargent notes that a recent NBC/Wall Street Journal poll finds that Winky's endorsement is seen by the broader electorate as a clear negative. Some 52 percent would react negatively toward a Winky endorsement, including 37 percent who would be very uncomfortable. The only two factors less popular are support for Bush economic policies and elimination of Social Security.

(photo: Oink)

Screwy Louie's "Things I Learnt In History Class"

Think Progress reports on Texas Rethug Rep. Screwy Louie Gohmert's criticizing President Obama for being mean to BP. Just another Rethug saying what the rest of them are thinking but are too cowardly to let the public know? True. But Gohmert, being the certified cashew that he is, has to go a few, um, goosesteps further by comparing Obama to... wait for it: Hitler (yawn). Quoting an article by fellow cashew Thomas "Not" Sowell, Screwy Louie likes what he sees in Sowell's flaky analysis of the establishment of the BP compensation fund and its clear (to Sowell and Screwy Louie at least) antecedent in Hitler's rise to power. He must've been reading those new, revisionist text books the State of Texas has ordered up -- you know, the ones celebrating Jefferson Davis and saying the Founding Fathers created a Christian nation?!

And these are the jackasses that are supposed to be capturing the House in November? God help us.

(Image: Rep. Screwy Louie Gohmert, Montgomery Burns' doppelganger.)

Your Broken Media, Cont'd.

Experiencing the wall-to-wall, hysteric coverage of the BP oilmageddon, one would think the public is following the "mainstream media's" lead and seeing that as the nation's number one issue. Not according to the latest CBS/NY Times poll, which indicates the public is still focused on the economy and jobs (40%) as the number one issue. Oilmageddon is at 13% and -- weak-kneed Democrats, take note -- the deficit is at 5%. So what that should tell you is that, despite the best efforts of Rethug hacks and their willing handmaidens in the media flogging the "Obama's Katrina" and "runaway deficit" narratives, the public is still rightly focused on getting the economy back on track. How could the public not trust the media's judgment on what's important?

Well, maybe they're getting jaded about the media's modus operandi-- with its hyper-short attention span, endless search for a conflict, and need to simplify and visualize the message. Anyone paying attention to the way the "mainstream media" covered the health reform debate sensed how the public wasn't getting factual information from the media, but rather was being hammered by political horse race, "the-system-is-broken" -type stories. This is now confirmed by a Pew Research study just out, which shows that nearly half the media coverage was on politics and strategy, much less on substance. And when substance was the topic, the media's need to have two sides to every argument, even if one side was lying outrageously and was rarely called on it, colored the public's understanding of the law. Take a bow, "mainstream media!"

(Image: Stop bothering him! He's typing as dumb as he can!)

"Not Out Loud"

Fire, Aim, Ready!

It would appear that the commander of U.S. forces in Afghanistan, Gen. Stanley "Loose Cannon" McChrystal, will be (no pun) fired after numerous derogatory comments that he made about the President, Vice President, Secretary Gates, Admiral Mullen, and numerous other senior Administration and military figures appeared in Rolling Stone magazine. Wow, nothing like burning bridges on the way out. Obama is reported to be furious after seeing Loose Cannon's remarks, and wants a face-to-face with him tomorrow at the White House. Loose Cannon has already "apologized" to everyone for the comments, but the damage is done (he must have the same PR guy as Joe "Not A Smart 'Un" Barton).

This wouldn't be the first time for the General to find himself accused of insubordination. In a speech in London last fall, Loose Cannon preempted the Administration's decision on troop levels by publicly identifying a troop level that he wanted. Now, Loose Cannon may have fired his last, ill-advised salvo.

(photo: Now they tell me to button my lip)

Happy Birthday

Happy 66th birthday to Ray Davies, founder with brother Dave of one of our favorite groups, The Kinks.

Department of Understatement

"Some of (Nikki) Haley's critics, including at least one county GOP chairman and two pastors, questioned whether the candidate . . . is really a Christian, as she says she is. It's a touchy topic for South Carolina, where race, religion and negative campaign tactics have a long, uncomfortable history in politics. It's also touchy for Republicans, who are trying to get past their image among many Americans that theirs is the less tolerant party." -- The Kaplan Daily's Amy "Vegetable" Gardner.

"Their image?" Vegetable, honey, when bigotry is as blatant as that practiced by Limpballs, Boo Hoo, and every wingnut and Rethug / New Confederate Party official that has tried to de-legitimatize President Obama, it's gone way beyond a problem with their "image."

Quote of the Day

"While the greatest environmental disaster in our history is a trying juncture for Obama, it also provides him with a nearly unparalleled opening to make his and government’s case. The spill’s sole positive benefit has been to unambiguously expose the hard right, for all its populist pandering to the Tea Partiers, as a stalking horse for its most rapacious corporate patrons. If this president can speak lucidly of race to America, he can certainly explain how the antigovernment crusaders are often the paid toadies of bad actors like BP. Such big corporations are only too glad to replace big government with governance of their own, by their own, and for their own profit — while the “small people” are left to eat cake at their tea parties." -- Frank Rich, in today's New York Times. Always on target.

He Has His Life Back

And a posh life it is! A yacht race around the Isle of Wight can't be wrong! Why, it should put an even bigger smirk on his puss than he's had nonstop throughout the past two months! We're so happy to see BP's toff CEO back in the lap of luxury and, to premempt the Rethugs, we'd like to apologize for keeping tony Tony from his upper-crusty friends.

Sorry Our Ocean Interfered With Your Oil Spill

Talking Points Memo helpfully collected a sampling of Rethuglican gaffes concerning the Gulf oil gusher. Among the boneheads kissing BP's oily ass? The usual suspects: Winky You Betcha, Michele "The Commie Hunter" Bachmann, Rand "Sprinklerhead" Paul, and John "Boner" Boehner. The combined IQ of this group might even break the 100 mark.

As many others note, they're simply reflecting their extremist, corporatist Rethuglican viewpoint that what's good for BP / United Healthcare / Goldman Sachs etc. etc. is always good for America; disagreeing with them is "socialist." Strangely, we haven't noticed any teabaggers protesting this betrayal of their "populist" movement.

As we saw in the DNC's TV ad after Not A Smart 'Un Barton's apology to BP, this should be gold for the Dems in the November elections. Emphasize "should be" . . .

Ginger Juju!

Did our "Ginger juju" work last week? Well, the stock market finished up again for the second straight week. Keep working that juju, Ginger!

No, He Can't

It seems Florida Rethug and tea bagger golden boy Marco "Boobio" Rubio is all for moral, ethical behavior -- except when his self-interest is involved. Remember the misuse of the party's credit card, and the subsequent IRS tax-evasion investigation?

The latest example of Boobio's sense that the rules apply to suckers is the disclosure that a property of his is about to be foreclosed. Boobio hasn't paid the mortgage in 5 months! So, when it comes to meeting his obligations, let Boobio's supporters hear it loud and clear: "No, he CAN'T!"

(Image: Apparently not)

Father's Day Weekend Song

On this upcoming Father's Day, we both can reflect on what proud sons and fathers we are, and why. Here's our dad's favorite song:

"Disdainful Asshole"

Following up on our post yesterday, we notice some interesting facts about Texas Rethug Rep. Joe "Not A Smart 'Un" Barton:

-- he's collected some $1.4 million in contributions from the oil and gas industry during his career
-- he's the #1 recipient of oil and gas money in the House
-- before his election to Congress, he was an executive at ARCO, a company that was later bought out by (drum roll, please) BP.

Jon Stewart did a segment on Barton last night that's a classic. Let's not forget, however, that Barton was only echoing the sentiments of other wingnuts like hate radio's Limpballs, and his House colleague crazy Michele "The Commie Hunter" Bachmann had expressed just a day earlier. It's also worth noting Rethug John "Boner" Boehner's gaffe earlier in the week where he suggested that the government should share cleanup costs with BP. See the pattern? When the Rethugs speak candidly, they defend big oil, Wall Street financiers, and the health insurance industry. In fact, that's whose interests they represent, and it's only when their game is exposed are they forced to issue false "apologies."

UPDATE: The DNC is out with its "Stop Apologizing" ad (hee-hee):


(photo: The disdainful asshole himself)

It's Mid-June. That Means. . . .

School is out. A Gary "U.S." Bonds classic.

"Thank You, Sir, May I Have Another?!"

Fellow Rethugs are furious over Rep. Joe "Not A Smart 'Un" Barton (Rethug-Big Oil-TX) for letting the cat out of the bag and apologizing to BP's CEO Tony "I Want My Life Back" Hayward. See, aside from wingnuts like Oxycontin Rush Limpballs and Minnesota loon Michele Bachmann, they didn't want the public to know how much they identify with Big Oil, or any other bank/ corporation/ or Wall Street firm until at least after the 2010 midterms. That way, they can keep their numbnut tea bagger base and the rest of the voting population from knowing just how much they owe to Big Oil, etc., and how it's all in tune with their e Coli/ bridge collapse/ oilmaggedon laissez faire philosophy.

At least Barton, though not a smart 'un (he's also a climate change denier), is honest about his crackpot views.

Quote of the Day

"We care about the small people." -- BP Chairman of the Board Carl-Henric Svanberg, after meeting with the President at the White House this morning. The arrogance is appalling.

Going With The Flow

President Obama's in the unenviable position of being "in charge" of dealing with the Gulf oil gusher, while not having control of the situation. His Oval Office address to the nation last night got mixed reviews: some saw it as a strong message for BP accountability and a clean energy future, some saw it as lacking in details and punch.

Time will tell if, in the next "weeks and days," the geniuses at BP are able to reduce the flow up to 90 percent, as they've apparently told the President. Everything they've said to date has been at best self-serving, and at worst a downright lie. One move on BP's part that would show good faith is to pull all of the feel-good TV and print ads, that cost an estimated $50 million, and use the money for cleanup and environmental mitigation. We're not holding our breath.

"Certification? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Certification"

Kentucky Rethug / New Confederate Party Senate candidate Rand "The Sprinklerhead" Paul likes to tell people he's a "board-certified" ophthalmologist. Welllll, not quite. He's apparently not certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology, the official licensing board for doctors of ophthalmology. But wait, he is certified by something called the "National Board of Ophthalmology," which he operates himself. So he's self-certified. My, my, nice work if you can get it. As Salon's Joe Conason puts it,

"Libertarian ideology rejects most of the modern regulatory systems that protect consumers, because everyone should be responsible for determining whether the hamburger contains E. coli on his own. But does that do-it-yourself dogma apply to the regulation of medicine, too? If you're Dr. Rand Paul, practicing ophthalmologist, the answer is emphatically yes."

As a result, Hackwhackers may decide to drop this blogging gig, and set up a certification board for ice cream. Despite our limited experience, we think we can get some ice cream companies to get their ice cream "certified" by us. Pretty sweet.

(photo: The Sprinklerhead: both self-certified and certifiably loony)

Headline of the Day

"Lightning Strikes Jesus Statue"

A 6-story statue of Jesus in Ohio burned after being struck by lightning. It was known regionally as the "Touchdown Jesus" statue given the upraised arms. So, what will the American Taliban make of this sign from above? (Hint: Should have used fire-retardant material). Here's the video (enjoy the schmaltzy music):



(photo: A 2004 photo of the statue. "Touchdown, Saints!")

Oligarchs of the World Unite!

Not surprisingly, New York Mayor and uber-billionaire Michael Bloomberg has come to the defense of a fellow moneybags. But it's the moneybags he's defending that's mindboggling: BP CEO Tony Hayward. According to the New York Times,

"Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg defended the executive, Tony Hayward, on Friday, saying the public should not rush to fault the company’s leaders for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. . . . On Friday, Mr. Bloomberg said BP should be left alone until the recovery operation is complete. 'If you want him to fix it and they’re the only ones with the expertise, I think I might wait to assign blame till we get it fixed,' the mayor said."

Leaving aside the fact that BP has already taken "responsibility" for the blowout, the Mayor might want to take note of the fact that BP's environmental and safety record has been blemished by numerous violations over the years, so malfeasance on their part wouldn't be an unreasonable assumption. Or he could just read this.

All You Need To Know...

... about the 15 cells that constitute the "brain" of a tea bagger is contained in this 60 second spot for Alabama congressional candidate Rick "Hick" Barber. You can take this several ways: he thinks he's talking to people who've been dead for, oh, 200 years, or he has friends who like to play dress up. See, his alternate reality includes George Washington, Ben Franklin and Sam Adams. (Is it just me or does he have those Tom Smothers crazy eyes?) Students of history will note George Washington enacted the first federal tax and then had to call out the militia to put down the 1791 whiskey tax rebellion ("Gather your armies," indeed!). This fruitcake wants you to believe Obama started the IRS and tax code.

"We're In The Money!"

I have a confession to make: I'm enamored of Ginger Rogers. She's of course Fred Astaire's premier, uber-talented dance partner (of whom it was said "did all the dance steps Astaire did except backwards and in high heels") and the 1941 Academy Award winner for "Kitty Foyle." She was also a strong, independent woman when it wasn't all that fashionable. Plus she's damn adorable. So today I'm going to use her classic appearance in "Gold Diggers of 1933" as powerful juju to keep the stock market on the upswing (last week was the first plus-week in the past month). Note in particular her tour de force pig latin rendition of "We're In The Money" at the 1:40 mark. Work your magic!

Wanker of the Week

"Afterward, labor officials insisted that they had triumphed by losing -- that putting such a scare into Lincoln would ensure fealty to their agenda by other moderates in her mold. Maybe. But labor played to win, not to narrowly lose." Chris "Because Haley Barbour Told Me So" Cillizza in today's Kaplan Daily feature "Worst Week in Washington," declaring labor the "loser" in the Lincoln/Halter primary. Hmmm, so as Cillizza says, "In politics, as in sports, success is measured by wins and losses." Let's test "Cillizza's Law."

"While Conservative party nominee Doug Hoffman's candidacy ultimately fell short in the special election in New York's 23rd district, his rapid rise was based almost entirely on an anti-Washington, throw-the-bums-out messaging." Cillizza on November 11, 2009, following the defeat of tea bagger Hoffman and the loss of the NY-23 seat to a Democrat for the first time in nearly a century! Nothing about "loser" there. Nothing about the tea baggers alienating voters in a safe Rethuglican district. That would be counter to his narrative of "it's always good news for the Rethuglicans and bad news for progressives." And, by the way, in last Tuesday's primaries, incumbents won 82 of 84 contests, which makes Cillizza's other, anti-incumbent narrative, uh, a "loser."

Congrats, or something.

What The Times Said

The NY Times had a take similar to ours on the primary results in Arkansas. Worth a read. It makes one wish the Kaplan Daily wasn't a hotbed of anti-union Rethuglican wankery.

Mmmmm, Tasty!

Try it with their special sauce, too!

(see more at the Huffington Post)

These "Young Guns" Are Old Farts

The National Rethuglican Congressional Committee is in the business of recruiting new candidates to run for seats in Congress. Their aim is to "mobilize a new generation of conservative leadership," and they're calling them "Young Guns." Looking at a Daily Beast story, via Think Progress, it looks like "new generation" in Rethuglican-speak means "Geritol generation": the average age of the so-called "Young Guns" is almost 50, and more than half of the 22 members are over 50 and eligible for AARP membership. Bwahahahaha!

Voter demographics are not working in the Rethuglican / New Confederate Party's favor, with more young people and growing minority populations identifying as Democrats. So while the "Young Guns" would seem to reflect the essence of the Geriatric Ol' Party, it's really bad news for them in the long run. Again, bwahahahaha!

Crosses To Bear

As a result of last Tuesday's primaries, both the Dems and Rethugs have candidate crosses to bear. The Rethugs, being drawn to the farther-right by its tea bagger base, have more crosses - in the form of Snarly Carly Fiorina and Sticky Nikki Haley. Then there's Sharron "Right" Angle, who is so despicable that Republicans like Reno Mayor Bob Cashell and Nevada First Lady Dawn Gibbons are throwing their support to Harry Reid. Well done, tea baggers!

Unfortunately, our crosses include corporate "Dem" Blanche Lincoln (who will lose in November anyway) and Alvin Greene who is either a Rethug dirty trick or the product of an ill-informed and lazy voting public (we cast our vote for the former, with some of the latter thrown in).

Kids Say The Darndest Things

"I've been covering politics for this network for two years and been around politics my whole life and this is the strangest story I've ever seen." -- Luke "Little Timmy" Russert, son of the late, venerated St. Tim Russert, Church of the Village, who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple. Little Timmy is referring to the South Carolina Dem primary mess, which nominated an accused felon.

"I've been covering politics. . .for two years. . ." 24-year old Little Timmy says, and been around politics all his life. And it's the strangest story he's seen in all that lonnnng time? Wow, must really be strange then. The sage of Capitol Hill has spoken.

(h/t to Digby)

Shrimp Boats

We're watching the unfolding disaster in the Gulf, and the devastation of the shrimp industry among others. No shrimp boats coming tonight, maybe not for a long time.

They Don't Call Him "Boner" For Nothing

Rethug House Minority leader John "Boner" Boehner showed his true, um, unnatural colors in suggesting that U.S. taxpayers should help pay for the cost of the BP oil spill. Boner echoed the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in suggesting that the government share the costs of cleaning up the worst environmental mess in U.S. history, a mess that was caused in all likelihood by BP ignoring Federal regulations and conducting their drilling in an unsafe manner. We think Boner's been swimming in the oil from the looks of him.

This demonstrates once again, as did the Rethuglican / insurance industry axis that opposed health insurance reform, who are the real constituents of the Rethugs: big corporations that fund their campaigns and offer them cushy jobs once the politicians leave office. It's surprising that Boner is so tone deaf that he would make such a statement now, when the public is furious at BP. But that's why they call him "Boner."

(photo: Boner sheds a tear for poor BP)

Why We Won't Be Contributing To The Dems This Year

Reason #1:
"Organized labor just flushed $10 million of their members' money down the toilet on a pointless exercise... if even half that total had been well-targeted... that could have made a real difference in November." Quote about the Lincoln/Halter primary attributed to an unnamed "senior White House official." Likewise, we won't be flushing any more of our money down the toilet to benefit f**king wankers like this. "Pointless exercise?" For people like the one quoted (Rahmbo? Gibbsie?), you don't stand up for principles. It's all negotiable.

Reason #2:
"[Sen. Blanche] Lincoln was embraced by her colleagues on the Senate floor as a conquering general returning from war...Sen. Charles Schumer (N.Y.) held up two fists and said of her primary campaign: 'Fighting Wall Street with one hand, unions with the other.'" - quoted in the Dickwhisperers' column in today's Kaplan Daily. Yes, Chuck, those bad old unions need fightin' and we're countin' on you Corporate Dems to rake in as much money from your big business (and Wall Street) benefactors to keep them, and progressives, in their place! Asswipe.

Snarly Carly

We had to smile at the revealing, open microphone moment of California Rethug Senate candidate Carly "Snarly" Fiorina. Before an interview started on Sacramento's KXTV, Snarly made some catty comments about Sen. Barbara Boxer's hair, and questioned why Rethug candidate for Governor Meg "Mega Bucks" Whitman was appearing that day on Sean "Heil" Hannity's show (apparently, there's no love lost between fellow Rethugs Snarly and Mega Bucks to say the least). Meowww! This is the "lady" that was a McNasty advisor in 2008, but was kicked off the campaign bus after saying that neither McNasty nor Winky was qualified to run a corporation (true, of course, but neither was Snarly -- more about that later).

While there are numerous wingers in the Golden State, they're far outnumbered by Dems and independent voters who don't like the right-wing extremism that Snarly exploited in the primary. Look for Snarly to tone down the hate speech. Also, she's going to have to spin why the Board of Directors of Hewlett Packard kicked her out as CEO in 2005; most observers say she ran with bad ideas, including a merger with competitor Compaq, and HP stocks jumped after her firing. Fair warning for voters in California.

(photo: "I'm like a Texas longhorn: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between!")

"Whoomp There It Is:" Latest Birfer Find

Colbert is on top of the latest find by the birfers -- Obama as rap video extra (h/t to Germantown Bureau Chief and senior research associate Brian).

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Yesterday's Results

Dems have a mixed bag to pore over after yesterday's primary elections in several States. The win in Arkansas' Dem primary by incumbent Sen. Blanche Lincoln only postpones the expected Rethug pickup of the seat in November, but it did send Lincoln and other conserva-Dems a message from the party's progressive base: if you call yourself a Democrat, vote like a Democrat or we'll primary you. She took progressive support 6 years ago, and then often voted like a Rethuglican; strangely, Bill Clinton supported her, despite her rejection of his arguments last November to vote for health care reform.

On a brighter note, Sen. Harry Reid's reelection bid seemed to get a boost after Nevada Rethuglicans voted for uber-wingnut and teabagger loon Sharron "Right" Angle as their candidate. Some of Right Angle's weirder notions include the abolition of Social Security. That won't go over big in a general election, regardless of the anti-incumbent mood.

Finally, conserva-Sikh Nicky "Sticky" Haley won the Rethug primary for Governor in South Carolina, despite allegations from two men that she had affairs with them. Sticky becomes the odds-on favorite in November, assuming video evidence doesn't surface later showing her hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Quote of the Day

"I don't sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick. So, this is not theater." -- President Obama, pushing back on the Today Show's Matt Lauer, who, along with the rest of the media Village, doesn't realize that the oil gusher is not theater and wants the President to provide him with a good Teevee moment.

(UPDATE: Jason Linkins comments on the media's need for drama)

Apparently Oil and Tea Mix With One Another

Within days of President Obama's inauguration, being on the wrong side of the President's election mandate, the right wing mobilized to block any of his initiatives. As their icon Pills Limpballs said over and over, they wanted him to fail. The so-called "Tea Party" movement was whipped up by Rethuglican and right-wing corporate activists, among them an "astroturf" front for corporate interests calling themselves FreedomWorks. They provided buses, obtained permits, provided printed signs and conducted public relations for the assorted birthers, militia, taxophobes and racists that form the far right core of the "conservative" movement. Of course, the Fux Channel promoted the hell of of them as if they were a populist cause.

After BP's oil gusher erupted, the wingers were caught fumbling for a spin on their "drill, baby, drill" mantra, trying not to call for more government intervention while laughably blaming the mess on "environmentalists." Now, FreedomWorks' President is calling the oil gusher a "natural disaster," which should please his sponsors at BP. According to Think Progress,

"FreedomWorks worked with BP to build grassroots support for opening up large sections of both the East and West coasts to new oil drilling. BP listed the group as part its 'significant grassroots supporters' on a PowerPoint slide at a presentation by the BP-funded front group 'Consumer Energy Alliance' at a conference in 2007."

First it was the insurance industry fighting health care reform; now BP used the same astroturf organization to make it appear as though they had public support for offshore drilling. That's what the teabagger movement is in a nutshell: powerful interests using gullible and ill-informed wingnuts to serve as their shock troops to undermine what's in the interest of the public -- including teabaggers themselves.

Nuptials for Numbnuts

Over the weekend, the porcine prince of wingnut radio, Pills Limpballs, was wed to a clueless woman 26 years his junior, his fourth marriage. You would think that women would avoid him like swine flu, but apparently Pills' mega-bucks trumps the gag reflex. It will certainly come as a temporary blow (no pun intended) to the underage sex tourist business that Pills patronized.

Among the attendees kissing Pills' large rump were the usual mighty righties: Turdblossom Rove, 9-11 Giuliani, and Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson. What surprised us most was the participation of Sir Elton "Sir Smelt One" John, who was bought off with a cool $1 million to perform at the wedding of a person who has opposed gay marriage at every turn. Now we know the dollar value Sir Smelt One places on his soul. Hopefully his audience will take notice.

(photo: Pills in his bachelor days, comforting the young)

Tweet You, BP!

The catastrophic oil spill has led to some gallows humor using "teh awesome" system of twits and tweets. Crooks and Liars has the rundown of a fake BP Public Relations Twitter account with a series of jabs at B(ig) P(olluter). Very sadly, the wildlife that we see every time we turn on the news aren't laughing, nor are the residents of the Gulf coast who have had their lives turned upside down.

Sunday Morning Reading

This morning we've got, for your edification:

Frank Rich on why Obama needs to get with his inner Teddy Roosevelt on the oil spill crisis; and

Media Matters on how CBS News' Jan Crawford distorted Elena Kagan's record as Justice Thurgood Marshall's clerk. (This is but the latest example of how CBS News is bending over backwards to find the dark cloud in every Obama Administration silver lining, even if it has to invent one. We noticed, BTW, last week Katie Couric repeatedly throwing leading questions-cum-statements at Adm. Thad Allen on the now-dominant media narrative that the Administration's "failings" should be confessed and investigated. We wouldn't want to go beyond the superficial, near-term, who's-up-who's-down now, would we Katie?!)

"F---ing Raghead"

Why do so many Rethugs look like they were sired by pigs (eg., South Carolina State Sen. Jake "The Fatman" Knotts, left, and Greedy Greer, below)? What's worse, they act like pigs.

This porker Knotts is in deep slop for referring to fellow Rethug and purported serial adulteress Nikki Haley, who's running for Governor of South Carolina, as a "f---ing raghead" during an internet radio show. (BTW, he also used "raghead" to refer to President Obama during the same internet radio show, but that's so par for the course for Rethugs, it barely rates mentioning.)

God, we're so happy we're not Rethuglicans!

(Photo: You might want to refrain from the all-you-can-eat nights at Bubba's Barbeque.)

Quote of the Day

"This is a form of derangement, or of such a passionate commitment to a foreign country that any and all normal moral rules or even basic fairness are jettisoned.. . .There is no sense of the human here; just the tribe. Something has been wrong here for a very long time, and now it is inescapable. Until the discourse is rescued from the victims of Israel Derangement Syndrome, Israel and America will slowly be drawn into wars they cannot ultimately win, lose every other ally they ever had, and embolden and fortify the very Islamist forces we are seeking to defuse and defeat." -- Andrew Sullivan, writing in the Atlantic Monthly, referring to the despicable Neocon - Likudnik Charles Kraphammer's syndicated article, which turns recent events in the Middle East upside down, making the attackers the victims.

Rethuglican Crime Blotter

No major Rethug sex scandals this week, so that must mean it's time for a good old Rethug crime scandal. Former chairman of the Florida Rethug Party Jim "Greedy" Greer was indicted on six felonies for steering campaign contributions to his pockets. Greedy Greer had resigned his position with the Florida Rethugs earlier this year, after the allegations were made known. Interestingly, his indictment reflects on both Gov. Charlie Crist, running as an independent for Senator, and his Rethuglican challenger Marco "Boobie-o" Rubio: Crist for appointing him in the first place, and Boobie-o for reminding voters of Boobie-o's free-spending ways with the Rethug Party credit card.

With Greedy facing some 80 years in prison if / when convicted, Hackwhackers is sending him a complimentary soap-on-a-rope for those awkward prison showers.

Quote of the Day

"After the last eight years, it's good to have a president that knows what a library is." Sir Paul McCartney at the Library of Congress Wednesday night to receive the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.

Spill, Baby, Spill

Not to make this "Winky Week," but we couldn't let pass the latest twisted pretzel of thought from the snowbilly grifter and former half-term Governor of Alaska. She's making the stunningly dishonest claim that if oil drilling had been allowed in "safer drilling areas", like the Artic National Wildlife Refuge, drilling the Gulf wouldn't have been necessary. She's also tried to distance herself from her "drill, baby, drill" mantra, where she called for increased off-shore drilling (remember earlier this year when she said Obama's expansion of off-shore leases was too little, too late?).

Trying to pivot off of an unpopular position without anyone noticing is proving to be Winky's m.o. It's having the unintended benefit of providing valuable video tape of her hypocrisy, should she ever run for public office again.

Palin's Wrecking Crew

Half-term governor and snowbilly grifter Winky You Betcha is continuing her efforts to be a king(?)maker in the Rethuglican party. Having endorsed candidates ranging from establishment non-maverick Walnuts McCain to any tea bagger filing for office, she is now backing the tea bagger, Joe "Joe" Miller, in the Senate race in Alaska. But wait, you say, isn't that seat already held by Rethug Lisa "BP's BFF" Murkowski? You are correct, sir! Thus, Winky is going against the Rethug establishment while stoking the feud that started when she ousted Murkowski's father as governor several years ago. It's a two-fer!

We're happy to see Winky making mischief in the Rethug primaries. The more tea baggers she gets nominated, the better the chance the Democrat in the race will prevail in November. In this Alaska race, it would be a pleasure to beat either BP's BFF or the tea bagger.

Meet Michele Bachmann, Socialist *

After almost 18 months of non-stop idiocy, where she condemned the Obama Administration's "takeover" of the car and health insurance industries, among other "socialist" plots, crazy Rethuglican Congresswoman Michele "I See Commies" Bachmann is now demanding that the Obama Administration take over the oil leak fiasco. The Minnesota loon said:

"Where were the boats that could have been commandeered by the government to be sent into this region to deal with that oil plume as it was coming up in the water and destroying marine life?"

Get that? "Commandeered by the government." Isn't that heresy among the teabagger mob that Bachmann plays to?
________
*and still batshit crazy

Not That There's Anything Wrong With It

While still fighting a political storm over lying about his military record, Illinois Rethuglican Senate candidate Rep. Mark "Kinky" Kirk is facing a new allegation: he's gay (not that there's anything wrong with it). While the allegation was first made by a Rethug rival during the primary season, it has been raised anew by Mike Rogers (the gay blogger who outed Rethug hypocrites Larry "Wide Stance" Craig and Mark "Holey" Foley) who has "evidence" not previously revealed.

According to Rogers, he's reporting this not because of Kirk's sexual orientation per se, but because of Kirk's recent vote not to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," thereby placing him firmly in the large camp of sexual hypocrites of the right -- which is also why we're noting it.

News You Can Lose

Today's lowlights:

-- Who'da thunk it? Al and Tipper Gore are separating, while Bill and Hillary Clinton are still "together."

-- Bubba Netanyahoo's poorly-conceived, poorly-timed, poorly-planned, poorly-executed, deadly raid on the Gaza blockade-buster flotilla is having major repercussions for Israel, while the American Likud party (Kraphammer, Kristol and the Kommentary krew) cheers in lockstep.