Happy New Year!

To everything, there is a season...



(Big h/t to Brian, Hackwhackers' Germantown bureau chief and tech support guru)

Our Terrified Media

Salon's Glenn Greenwald has a typically smart take on the media's snit fit over President Obama's refusal to perform a war dance in front of their cameras over the recent terror attempt. Once again, it's all about the Village media: if there's no drama, there's no news. So let's make some drama, OK, Mr. President? As Greenwald notes, this is exactly what al Qaeda is looking for:

"As always, Al Qaeda's greatest allies are the ones in the U.S. who tremble with the most fear at the very mention of their name and who quite obviously crave a return of that stimulating, all consuming, elevating 9/12 glory."

Of course, back in late 2001 when Richard "Shoe Bomber" Reid was arrested, we heard none of the chatter in the media Village that Dumbya should immediately rush around issuing dramatic threats and generally act up for their cameras. Strange inconsistency.

Pills Ill

There are reports that hate radio star Pills Limballs has been hospitalized in Hawaii (stalking the President, are we?) in "serious condition" after having chest pains. Not surprising, given his Oxycontin habit, porcine shape, and preference for Dominican youth.

We're certain he has excellent health insurance, too.

(UPDATE: Pills is "resting comfortably" according to a hospital statement. Maybe he just needed some extra, um. . .pills)

(photo: Limpballs attempts a self-examination in the hospital)

G.I. Joe

We noticed over the weekend that neocon Likudnik Joe Lieberliar now wants the U.S. to preemptively attack Yemen after the aborted airline bombing this past week. We're already stretched militarily in Iraq and Afghanistan, with troops stationed in South Korea, Western Europe and elsewhere, and now Lieberliar -- who never served in the armed forces -- blithely states on the Fux News Sunday poo-fling that "Yemen will be tomorrow's war" if we don't act preemptively. We thought Iran was "tomorrow's war" for Lieberliar, or was that Syria....

Soon, Lieberliar will have us fighting the entire Muslim world (maybe so that the Israelis won't have to?). Al Qaeda must be thrilled that they have a recruiter working for them in the U.S. Senate.

(photo: G.I. Joe unleashes his weapon of choice: halitosis with a helping of bullshit)

Ooooo, This Should Be Good

The child sole custody case being brought by Winky You Betcha's daughter Bristol should produce some fireworks from the baby daddy's side. The snowbilly battle will likely involve charges and counter-charges of unfitness and moral turpitude between the Winky and OxyJohnston clans as the case is litigated.

Baby daddy Levi has said in the past that he has something "big" on former Gov. Winky that he might threaten to use in an effort to maintain joint custody. Maybe some financial fraud committed by Winky or husband Clod? Or maybe some naughty behavior involving Winky and her former son-in-law? Stay tuned.

Turdblossom's Back in the Game, Ladies!

In Rethug family values/sanctity of heterosexual marriage news, Turdblossom has divorced Mrs. Turdblossom, according to spokesbimbo... Dana Perino (!). Mr. and Mrs. Turdblossom were married in 1986. This is Turdblossom's second divorce. It's been reported that actor Randy Quaid has complained that Turdblossom hit on his wife Evi, so let there be no doubt, ladies, that Turdblossom is Back in the Game. Playah!

(Photo: Turdblossom bids "fare thee well" to the ex-Mrs. Turdblossom)

Hackwhacker Awards for 2009

It's time again for the Hackwhacker Awards for 2009, so let's jump into the morass:

"Against It Before They Were For It" Brass Waffle Award: To Rethuglicans, who were against Medicare (and still are) before they expediently were temporarily for it during the health care reform "debate." Oh, and deficits, too.

Wingnut War on Christmas Citation: To far-right Humanevents.com for putting on their web site a racist spoof of Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad," entitled "The Illegal Alien Christmas Song" (since removed). Illegal immigrants Moses and the Jews, as well as Jesus, Mary and Joseph would be proud.

Dumbass, Crazy Wingnut of the Year: To Rep. Michele "I See Commies" Bachmann. "Hoot-Smalley Tariffs." 'Nuff said.

Dumbass, Crazy, Dangerous Wingnut of the Year: To Glenn "Boo-Hoo the Hoot" Beck, of whom it was said (we're paraphrasing here) by Stephen Colbert that he is almost too difficult to parody because he's set the stupid bar so high. It's the toxic mix of Boo-Hoo's frequent incitements to violence, his black helicopter conspiracy view of the world, his undisguised hatred of anyone to the left of the Dumbass, Crazy Wingnut of the Year (above) and his gullible viewers that make this a train wreck that could have consequences far beyond what we can imagine or fear.

Pinocchio Was a Piker Award: To Sarah "Winky You Betcha" Palin in a landslide. She thought the media's fact-checking of her error- and lie-ridden "book" was "opposition research!" Heh. Says she quit her job as Governor in order to "better serve the people of Alaska" -- by getting a multi-million dollar advance for a ghost-written book, freeing up time for a book (chartered airplane) tour and charging $100,000 to show up for speaking engagements. Riiiiight! So much, much more, but time and space are short.

Delusions of Majority Award: To the tea-bagger Nation, and all 50 billion, er 50 million, er 50 thousand who showed up in Washington in September with their tea bags a-flopping, racist signs a-carrying, Paul Revere costumes a-wearing. Once more, with feeling: the election was in November, you lost big, go home, turn off Boo-Hoo the Hoot, and get a grip.

Just Do It Award: This goes to all the creepy crackpots who comment on wingnut blogs like RedState and Free Republic calling for the violent overthrow of the government ("Get your guns, lock and load; Civil War II is coming"- type shit.) Well, all you General Cornpones out there, go ahead and make a move. Stop your incessant threats and do something. There's plenty of space in the new Supermax prison they're opening in Illinois for the Gitmo prisoners, for those of you who aren't hanged or shot for treason first, that is.

Ho, Ho, Ho "Liberal Media" Award (tie): To Kaplan Daily (WaPo) editors who hired Rethug political operator and serial fact-fabricator Wee Willie Kristol shortly after the New York Times wisely declined to renew his contract. Wee Willie now inflicts his version of Obama Derangement Syndrome alongside crackpots and fellow fabricators Charles Kraphammer, Quill Will, Michael "Mushroom Cloud" Gerson, and Robert "Not Paul" Samuelson. Great catch! And,

To ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper, who referred to Fox News as a "sister organization," when the White House pointed out the commonly observed fact that Fox is the media arm of the Republican Party. You shouldn't take umbrage, Tippy, just because your "sister" is a ho! In the meantime, look for Tippy to inherit George Steponaflagpinopolous' chair at "This Week."

John Peter Zenger Award for Scruples in the Media, Incestuous Clusterf**k Division (tie): To Politico's Jim VandeHei and Kaplan Daily's Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz, whose wives' earning a living as Rethug consultants apparently doesn't rise to the level of even an occasional disclaimer in their political pieces. Keep those "journalistic" standards high, douches! (There are any number of Dishonorable Mentions, such as CNN's Campbell Brown - married to neocon hawk Dan Senor -- and former Nixon deputy press secretary Diane Sawyer, but you get the picture.)

Euell Gibbons Too-Much-Fiber, Too-Much-Gas Award: To David "The Dean" Broder, gasbag emeritus at the Kaplan Daily, for his lifelong search for "bipartisanship" (at least during those years when the Democrats are in power; when Rethugs rule, he wants to rock on Karl Rove's porch and enjoy the good times).

Rethug Zeitgeist Personified Award: To Michael "Tin Man" Steele - who best to represent the Rethug Party? It's the perfect intersection of party and person: smug, clueless, self-centered, nihilistic, selfish. Tin Man and the Rethug Party go together like ham and cheese.

The Bouncing Bag of BS Award: To Rush "Pills Limpballs" Limbaugh who gets the award after a solid year of raging against President Obama and the "libruls" who want to repair the damage Pills and his ilk in the Rethuglican Party have done to the U.S. Clips of his unintentionally hilarious, bouncing, arm-waving performance at the Conservative Political Action Committee's annual group grope were re-run on "Countdown", among other programs, threatening to trigger small earthquakes. Despite his success in conning the "dittoheads" who follow his nonsense, and the fawning of Rethuglican politicians, porcine Pills is a deeply insecure, dishonest "little" man.

* * * *
We've not even scratched the surface of "morans," crackpots, hypocrites, bomb-throwers, racists, and other denizens of the cesspool that is the far right in American politics, but that'll have to do for 2009. Rest assured there will be more fodder in 2010.

Merry Christmas!

Wanker of the Day

It's William "I.P." Daley, corporate Dem, in his Kaplan Daily op/ed, completely mis-reading the political malaise and how the Dems can re-energize the voters who put them in office. What "agenda far to the left of most voters" are Dems advancing? Certainly not the Senate version of health care. Certainly not marriage equality. Certainly not the corporate Dem approach to handling Wall Street. Certainly not the compromised stimulus legislation. Democrats didn't show up at the polls in Virginia (where the gubernatorial candidate ran away from Obama's "liberal" agenda) or New Jersey (whose incumbent Democrat was wildly unpopular) largely because those voters are tired of corporate Dems like yourself having your way and then bashing the base for not liking it. So, the question must be, who are you really shilling for now, I.P.?

Happy Festivus!

It's December 23, time to haul out the aluminum pole and air your grievances. It's Festivus for the Rest of Us! Balloon Juice has the video.

(Frank Costanza seems to have the same temperament as the Senator pictured immediately below)

Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ya

MoDo's column in today's New York Times zeros in on the change in Sen. John McNasty's mood over the past year. The former darling of the media ("my base") and self-described "maverick" who occasionally went against his party's grain, seems to be all about obstruction and partisan behavior. Surprise! McNasty isn't the noble independent conservative that he once pretended to be.

It now looks like the "cause greater than ourselves" that McNasty always exhorted us to aspire to was McNasty himself. After he lost last year, he has shown himself to be the bitter, belligerent right-winger that we knew he was all along. Imagine the shock -- shock! -- to his media barbeque buddies who are seeing that he's not the cuddly old curmudgeon that they made him out to be.

(photo: "I'm through getting shot down")

Tin Man Passes the Tin Cup

Rethug National Committee Chairman and National Laughingstock Michael "Tin Man" Steele has apparently been charging for his non-official moonlighting appearances - $15,000 or $20,000 a pop! And why not?! Who says just because you're the chairman of a major (?) political party you should avoid appearances of um... avarice?! (Sez Former Rethug National Committee Chairman Frank Fahrenkopf, Jr.: "Holy Mackerel!")

Also on the Rethug front: ConservaDem "Blue Dog" Rep. Parker "Roll" Griffith, freshman from Alabama (where else?) is switching to the Rethugs today. He'd voted almost 100% with them since January anyway, so Good Riddance. Look for Tin Man to hold a press conference... and charge a speaking fee.

(Photo: Tin Man is also available for birthday parties!)

Headline of the Day, Part Deux

"Pig Farts Spark Australia Gas Scare"

Didn't know Pills Limpballs was visiting Australia. . .

"Dukakis Without the Administrative Skill"

That's one of Drew Westen's biting critiques of President Obama and his administration in a must-read HuffPo posting. Can't say I agree with absolutely everything in the posting, but jeez it sure hits a lot of the right notes for me, and for a lot of progressives* (unfortunately). My fondest wish is that Obama is shown this article, reads it and takes it to heart.

*As we write, Naomi Klein continues the pile-on.

Fed Up With The Filibuster

As noted earlier today, Senate rules requiring a super-majority of 60 votes to limit debate (cloture) made the health insurance reform process nearly fail. With Rethugs blindly determined to stop any legislation that would help President Obama and the Democrats politically, this represents what Paul Krugman in today's New York Times calls "a dangerous disfunction."

Attempts were made in the past to change the rule and allow the Senate to pass legislation by simple majority, as in the House of Representatives. The ferocious partisan war being waged by the Rethugs will ensure very difficult battles on energy, financial reform, and climate change legislation, and they won't give up the filibuster weapon, regardless of the harm they're doing to the country.