News Item

Savior of the Civilized World and Moon Colony Visionary Newt "Beam Me Up" Gingrich is running low on cash and has been forced to reduce his staff by one-third. With his "campaign" slowly circling the drain, the Great One is now charging $50 for photos taken with him. (Pause)

Bwahahahaha!

(image: "Somebody gave me $100 if I wore clown makeup for the picture.")

S.O.S! The SS Poot Is Sinking!

With the departure yesterday of Rethuglican Presidential candidate Poot Gingrich of his two top fundraisers, it appears that Poot's campaign ship is sinking fast. Barely a week after most of his campaign staff quit, Poot is without the key element of a political campaign -- its fundraising / financing arm, which allows the candidate to travel, prepare media ads, etc., anything that requires money.

With his "campaign" imploding, Poot may be the first Rethug candidate to drop out of the race. . .after little more than a month! Great job, Poot! It's an indicator of how (God forbid) your Presidency would have gone.

(photo: "Did someone turn off the air conditioning?")