They Said It! Republican "Debate" Edition

As might be expected from the collection of demagogues, crackpots and sociopaths represented on the stage at last night's Republican "debate" in the cradle of secession, the only things flying faster than the insults were the lies.  Lots and lots and lots of lies.  You may want to check out several sites where the lies have been debunked:  here, here, here, here, and here, for starters (of course there's going to be overlap).

We'd like to go back, however, and enjoy some of the well- rehearsed insults passed back and forth among the empty shells posing as presidential material (our emphases throughout):

Neo-fascist fartbag Donald "Rump" Trump to Sen. "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz (R-Calgary), warning of the "natural born citizen" issue:

“You have a big lawsuit over your head while you’re running, and if you become the nominee, who the hell knows if you can serve in office.”

"Tailgunner Ted's" (non)response to Rump:

“Since September, the Constitution hasn’t changed, but the poll numbers have.  And I recognize that Donald is dismayed that his poll numbers are falling in Iowa, but the facts and the law here are really quite clear. [snip]  I’ve spent my entire life defending the Constitution before the United States Supreme Court, and I’ll tell you, I’m not going to take legal advice from Donald Trump.” 

Then Sen. Marco "Glug Glug" Rubio (R-MIAmi) and "Tailgunner Ted" got into it:

[W]hen Rubio and Cruz got their chance to go at it, theirs turned out to be an esoteric back-and-forth over the consistency of their Senate votes, particularly on immigration.

After Rubio ticked through votes that he described as flip-flops and political opportunism on Cruz’s part, the Texan said: “He had no fewer than 11 attacks there. I appreciate you dumping your oppo research folder on the debate stage.”

Sensing an opportunity to show he had a pulse "energy," dead meat scion John Ellis "J.E.B.!" Bush jumped in to say this about Glug Glug and "Tailgunner Ted":

“This latest back-and-forth between two backbench senators, it explains why we have the mess in Washington, D.C.”

After "J.E.B.!" called Rump's "policies" toward immigrants and Muslims "unhinged," Rump, never missing an opportunity to step on "J.E.B.!'s" deflating balloon responded:

“We don’t need a weak person being president of the United States,” Trump said, returning to an old insult that Bush is ­“low-energy.” “We don’t need that. We don’t need that.”

As a final punctuation to the carnival these highly unqualified, small bore con artists are putting on, we give you the front page of the New York Daily News, which had a response to "Tailgunner Ted's" slam that Rump represented "New York values," not "Iowa values" (click on image to enlarge):

  

We think we can all get behind that sentiment.

BONUS:  The awesome Driftglass has his own rib- cracking take.