Monday, November 30, 2009

Huckster Mike's Willie Horton?

Police in Takoma, Washington are seeking a man in the ambush killing of 4 police officers. The man being sought, Maurice Clemmons, was in prison in Arkansas a decade ago, when then-Gov. "Huckster" Mike Huckabee commuted his 95-year sentence for aggravated robbery in 2000. Guess Clemmons found the Lord in prison. Since his release, Clemmons has had a string of felony charges against him, most recently assault on a police officer and second-degree rape of a child. Guess Clemmons lost the Lord after being sprung from prison.

Time Magazine's Mark "Drudge Rules Our World" Halperin will announce this is "good for Huckabee" any moment now.

(photo: Huckster Mike announcing he's assigning Walker, Texas Ranger, to help find Clemmons)

John Harris: The 7 Stories Matt Drudge Wants Me to Push

"Politico" and political hack John Harris has "7 Stories Obama Doesn't Want Told" (helpfully spread like the contents of a used diaper by the yahoos at Yahoo). Harris, long identified as a Rethug-wired stooge enamored of RNC press release cut-and-paste "journalism," regurgitates the same lame Rethug talking points from the last year (the big spender/ not one of us/ narcissist, etc. memes). Enjoy the flashbacks! (h/t to Rising Hegemon for the Harris career recap)

(Image: John Harris, transcribing "his" "story" from The Drudge Report)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Letter of the Week

"If Roman Catholic bishops are going to start pressuring Catholic politicians to pursue the church's agenda in public legislation, by denying communion to politicians who don't 'toe the line,' they should not be surprised to find non-Catholic voters reluctant to vote for Catholic candidates. The fear that the church would try to influence public policy was a prime cause of the anti-Catholic prejudice of the electorate for many years. I guess they've forgotten." -- Kaplan Daily letter writer from Fairfax, Va., Nov. 29. They're also too busy trying to impose their notions of morality on everyone to pay much attention to the Church's priest pedophiles and their enablers in the hierarchy. Start taxing them -- that'll clear their minds quickly enough.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

"Manufactured Failure", Cont'd.

Here's James Fallows' update on the "manufactured failure" of the Obama visit to Asia. Seems some of the mainstream media are wondering, gee, how could they've missed the behind- the- scenes stuff (it's called diplomacy) that's now bearing fruit. (Hmmm, Chinese set CO2 target reduction goal for the first time. Hmmm, Chinese join in censure of Iran nuclear program.)

Maybe these Rethug-wired geniuses should put down their Drudge Report tweets and put their awesome journalist skills to work on ... oh, right, they have no journalist skills.

A Warning Flag

The strange story of a social-climbing couple sauntering their way uninvited into last Tuesday's state dinner for the Indian prime minister should make your hair curl. We imagine extreme wingers and other haters with violent fantasies about the President are wondering if there's less than meets the eye as far as Secret Service protection is concerned. It's known that the White House has received more death threats against President Obama than any recent President, with all of the angry birthers/racists/militia types wanting to "take their country back."

The couple that penetrated White House security with apparent ease are a joke, with a history of faking their past associations and contacts. But there are undoubtedly sick people out there looking at this security lapse and wondering "what if I. . . ."

Friday, November 27, 2009

A Boo Hoo Boo Boo?

Deranged Fuxer Glenn "Boo Hoo" Beck might be getting some hate mail from his homies today, after he dissed the Wasilla Wonderwoman on his radio show. When Winky was asked about a Palin-Beck ticket in 2012, she described Boo Hoo as "a hoot." Boo Hoo, who apparently doesn't like the word "hoot" linked to him (how about "nutbag" instead?), suggested a Beck-Palin ticket instead, and had this to say about Winky:
"Can you imagine what an administration with the two of us would be like?. .She'd be yapping or something, and I'd say 'I'm sorry, but why am I hearing your voice. I'm not in the kitchen.'"
Wow, way to fire up the base, Boo-man!! Knocking the sainted Wasilla Wonderwoman's qualifications to be President, since Boo Hoo would top the ticket (bwahahaha), and using a sexist stereotype of a nagging woman who needs to be kept in the kitchen. Better double up on the security, Boo-ster!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

... to all of you!

Word! It's a Rethug Rapper!

Help us out here. First, check out the video (via TBogg) of Rethug rapper "Hi Caliber" layin' down rhymes about his homeys, the patriots, versus dem cancerous liberals. Then help us out re-branding this dude. Let us know what you think about these possible new names:

BB Brain
Oxy Moron (Moran?)
Rapmaster Shit4Brainz
T Bag
Low I-Cue
Boehner Thug 'n' Disharmony

(PS - at the end of the vid, the shout-out to... Monica Crowley?!? What up w'dat?!)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Loopy Lou, Hacer El Payaso

If it were possible to invest money in political satire, this would be a great time to do it. With Winky on her book tour alone, that would generate a huge profit. Now, we have former CNN blowhard and Meskin hatin' Loopy Lou Dobbs, who is strongly suggesting that he may run for the Senate, and who would provide endless material for satire if he chose to do so (Hint for Loopy: get those dentures fitted properly! You sound like you're slurping soup). He's already trying to reverse his terrible relations with the Hispanic community over immigration reform, but most voters will through see his fakery.

Also, if Loopy were to run, there's a treasure trove of outrageous, extremist and dishonest statements from him on multiple subjects that would be an opponent's dream. And Loopy's smug, condescending, sneering persona would turn off voters in droves were he to debate an opponent. So, run, Loopy, run! You'd be a satire goldmine.

(photo: It's a little late to make nice with the Hispanic voter, Loopy)

Bankers Banquet

Another column in the blind squirrel/acorn retrieval category, this one from Dana Milbank at the Kaplan Daily, who writes a compelling piece today about how the banking/ credit industry is smugly confident it has already derailed the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency. See, the agency would police the practices of the industry, whose lending abuses led to last year's financial implosion. A no-brainer, right? Umm... well no. A wide range of pols are apparently "creating problems" for the legislation to establish the agency, unfortunately including Dem Sens. Michael Bennet (CO), Evan Bayh (IN), Tim Johnson (SD) and others, along with the usual Rethug Wall of Obstruction. Which goes to prove, when it comes to greased palms, there aren't many in Washington whose hands are clean.

The always-excellent Steven Perlstein also covers the financial and banking barons in his column today, singling out Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner as too-beholden to the Wall Street order. These same institutions of greed are back to their old tricks, with CEOs reaping unconscionable bonuses, credit card companies upping their rates and fees or canceling cards for the slightest reasons, and Wall Street fighting to avoid having its catastrophic derivatives markets regulated.

As Milbank notes:

"Or, to put it another way, Don't regulate us now because the economy is still suffering from the mess we made because we weren't regulated the last time. Chutzpah, it appears, is recession-proof."

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Abe Pollin

Sad news tonight that Abe Pollin, owner of the Washington Wizards (formerly Bullets) NBA basketball franchise and civic philanthropist has died at age 85. Mr. Pollin, an old school gentleman whose word was his bond, made his biggest mark through the redevelopment of downtown Washington, DC, notably the construction of the Verizon Center. Mr. Pollin and his wife Irene made countless other contributions to the Washington area community, not the least of which was being loyal to Washington sports fans. It was a feeling that was returned to Mr. Pollin, who was a uniquely admired and loved figure here. Rest in peace.

Chickenhawk Cheney At It Again

If anyone symbolizes the foreign and military policy disasters of the Bushit Assministration, it's the evil one himself: former (Vice) President The Dick, who is weighing in again about President Obama's Afghanistan policy. "You know, if you're out there on the line day in and day out," said the draft-dodging Veep, whose experience with "lines" was with the brunch buffet during the Vietnam War. The Dick was critical that the President's caution "may in part be inexperience on Obama's part."

I mean, really. That old turd wants us to imagine that he knows the horrors of war, and that he speaks "from the perspective of the troops." He sent thousands to be killed and wounded in Iraq, a country that wasn't involved in 9-11 and that posed no national security threat to us and he talks about "experience?" We don't need more of his "experience."

Give Props to Tin Man...Or Else!

Gangsta Rethug National Committee Chair Michael "Tin Man" Steele is upset he wasn't given enough credit for the November Rethug wins in New Jersey and Virginia (we won't mention the two Democrats who won Congressional special elections - we don't want his head to explode). How upset? Enough to fire his communications director, Trevor Francis after only 8 months on the job. Seems, in Tin Man's eyes, Trevor didn't do enough to flog the story line that it was he, the Gangsta cow-on-the-tracks Tin Man, who led the Rethugs into the Promised Land.

I personally feel Tin Man was correct in his decision to terminate Francis. After all, wasn't Tin Man the main draw on the ballots in New Jersey and Virginia? Wasn't it his organizational genius that brought victory home? His stature in the party that made him such a valuable vote getter?

Props to you, my man!

Monday, November 23, 2009

"Manufactured Failure"

You may have seen some of the instant analysis of President Obama's trip to Asia in the "mainstream media." The meme they're following so far? Failure! Failure I tells ya! The Beltway herd is well down the road to declaring the visit a failure based on... what?

Well, several people are pushing back, including Ambassador to China (and former GOP governor of Utah) Jon Huntsman, and James Fallows, who calls it "manufactured failure." Manufactured by the Rethug-wired "mainstream media." But why?

As many have noted, the media's main ticket seller is controversy and friction. It covers everything like a horse race - who's up, who's down (one need only check out "Dude" Chris Cillizza's weekly columns in the Kaplan Daily for a prime example of this Racing Form journalism). It gives the microphone to anyone causing a dust-up, from a few dozen shouting clown hall yahoos, to the trillion tea baggers storming the Capitol, to obstructionist Rethugs holding up health care reform. Push back against the lies and distortions? You must be joking! They can say or do whatever they want and never get called on it because the media loves the spectacle! It's also a lot easier than doing your job and holding people to facts, not propaganda.

(Image: Chuck Todd, Fred Hiatt and David Broder in a rare photo together.)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The "Dean" Is Dinged

Nice comeback from Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid on Villager Media "Dean" David Broder, who criticized the health insurance reform package before the Senate, as a "retiree who writes a column once in a while" for the increasingly neocon Washington Post. The Dean never met a Rethug that he didn't want to compromise with, when he wasn't at Karl "Turdblossom" Rove's pretend "ranch" having dinner.

The Dean will need to change his Depends after that slam. Or not.

Wanker of the Month

The month's not even over, but Matthew "Li'l Quill" Continetti of Wee Willie Kristol's "Weekly Standard" shitzine has retired the trophy for November with this nugget from his review of Winky You Betcha's ghost-written book:
"Like a lot of people, as soon as I got my copy of Sarah Palin's 'Going Rogue,' I immediately thought of the German literary critic Hans Robert Jauss."

Really? That was what jumped to mind? You and your small circle of friends need to get out more often, "Li'l Quill" (Matthew is destined, thanks to his pompous prose, to be the next George "Quill" Will)!

What I immediately thought of when I read "Li'l Quill's" review, as well as when I think of Winky You Betcha, is that Republican archetype Hugh Jass.

(Photo: "Li'l Quill" Continetti, purveyor of pretentious twaddle.)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Worth A Look

John Cole makes the point that the Rethuglican apparatus has nothing to gain from countering the obvious lies and smears of its most extreme wingers, from Pills Limpballs to Winky You Betcha. After all, they are not a governance party (see Dumbya); they have no stake in making the Federal government work for everyone, because the focus of their campaigns for the past 40 years have been to run against "Big Government." They believe it's better for them if America is "ungovernable" politically.

Read Cole's post; in a couple of paragraphs, he distills the destructive and cynical Rethug mindset toward Government, the American people, and good politics.

Quotes of the Day

"It's a shame they don't extend the same efforts to issues that really matter, like health care and homelessness." -- D.C. Councilmember David Catania commenting on the issuance of a "declaration" Friday by conservative Christian leaders (aka, the American Taliban), urging Christians not to comply with rules and laws relating to same-sex marriage and abortion. Among the signees was Archbishop Donald Wuerl of Washington, whose diocese issued an ultimatum to the DC government about not passing a gay marriage law, lest the Church cease providing social services with DC tax dollars. So glad I'm not a practicing Catholic any more.

"How could they [WaPo editors] devote a whopping and precious 258 column inches of space to coverage of and commentary on former Alaska governor Sarah Palin - God's gift to the 'I'm- stupid- and- proud- of- it' crowd?" -- letter to the editor in today's WaPo from a reader in Gainesville, Va. So glad I'm not subscribing to the WaPo any more.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Libtard Rethugs Gone Wild

TBogg has the sad story of how some in the tea party movement are having at each other (although from the looks of some of them, they haven't had a "movement" in a while). Petty power struggles, litmus tests, money issues, lawsuits... can't these superpatriots just get along? There's so much more astroturfing to be done and so little time!

Cool Public Service Spot

President Obama's United We Serve initiative will run a 90 second spot during three NFL games on Thanksgiving Day, featuring himself and some NFL stars. The President's not a bad wide receiver (see the video).

Moment of Zen

Time: Approximately 8 a.m., Friday, November 20
Place: MSNBC's "Morning Joe" originating from New Orleans
Description: Joe "Doucheborough" Scarborough was talking to Rethug Sen. David "Diapers" Vitter about the response to Hurricane Katrina. He was describing being on the Mississippi Gulf coast looking for Red Cross volunteers, and found them handing out bottled water and. . .drum roll. . .diapers!

Diapers Vitter didn't appear to flinch or redden at the mention of that article of clothing that his prostitute acquaintance said he liked to wear during their steamy sessions together. Great unintentional moment of Zen, Doucheborough! And well played, Diapers!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Is Dat You, Foghorn?

We thought former Rethug Senator and extremely laid-back Presidential "campaigner" Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson had gone off to that rocking chair on his porch in Tennessee to spin folksy yarns for the young 'uns and assorted farm animals. But no, Foghorn is back, expressing his opinion that the war in Afghanistan "is lost." This wouldn't be noteworthy except for the fact that it's a 180 degree reversal from Foghorn's position in 2007 (when Dumbya, the Dick and the Rethugs were in charge), when he stated that Democrats were "encouraging our enemies" by saying that the effort in Afghanistan was doomed. What a difference 2 years, and a Democratic President makes.

What's most surprising (aside from the fact that someone gave him his own radio show) is that Foghorn was able to lift himself out of his deep lethargy to express an opinion. Unless he was merely talking in his sleep in front of a microphone. . .

(photo: Foghorn Fred after a restful, 8-hour mid-day nappie; go get, I say, go get 'em boy!)

The Paranoid and the Dumb

That just about captures the essence of the Rethug base and their snobilly queen. Here's the paranoid. Here's the dumb. Enjoy the uniformed lunacy!

(Photo: a concerned member of the Rethug base who already has his brain -- morans!)

Stewart Interviews Loopy Lou

Last night's interview of Loopy Lou Dobbs, CNN's former ranter and hater of brown folks, by Comedy Central's Jon Stewart was a classic in stripping the hypocrisy and meanness from the right-wing message. The wingnut anger now on display, where symbols of Nazi Germany are perversely misused, is about losing an election, as Jon notes, and not about reality. Loopy Lou was one of those demagogues who style themselves as an "independent" but in fact are unreconstructed conservatives, who have selective amnesia about Rethuglican misdeeds in the past and are critical of them only when they depart from the most right-wing positions.

Miscellaneous thought: With the money CNN paid Loopy Lou to take a hike, he should get some new dentures that won't hiss when he talks.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Senate Health Reform Bill Unveiling

Later today, Senate Democrats are expected to unveil their health reform bill for debate, which could start as early as this week (pending a procedural vote). Democrats are meeting at 5:00 today to get the results of the Congressional Budget Office's scoring of the bill.

We'll see now if Harry Reid is a master legislator or a legislative masturbator. What kind of public option will there be? How universal the coverage? Other cost savings? Does he have the votes for whatever he's putting forward, at least to get debate started? One strong proponent of the public option, Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA), isn't so sure there won't be more watering down of the public option to satisfy conservaDems.

At first blush, it looks like "master legislator" is closer to the mark for ol' Harry, though more finessing and reconciliation with the House bill remains. (The bill has a public option with "opt out", would reduce the deficit by $127 billion over 10 years, and cover 94% of the public.) Now if the Dems can just stick to their guns...

Say Cheesecake!!

We love Newsweek's cover of former Alaska Gov. and snowbilly grifter Winky You Betcha. Never has such an image captured the clueless essence of Winky. It also reflects the casual, "screw-America-Alaska-first" philosophy of Winky (and her secessionist hubby Todd "The Bod"). The disrespect of the American flag is clear, but we'll bet the mortgage that nobody in the Wingnutosphere will comment on it (nor will the tools in the MSM). But as Newsday notes, Winky is grumpy about the photo, which was taken with her permission and cooperation for a spread in "Runners World" magazine.

It's always someone else's fault, right Winky?

Keep doin' your thing, Winky, and don't let the intellecshuls and e-leets change your game. You represent that 20% of Americans who are dumber than dirt, but think that you're the answer to their prayers.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

"Fearmonger in Chief"

There's a tendency to dismiss the rhetoric of far-right buffoons like Pills Limpalls, Bill O'Liely, and Manatee Hannity as transparent nonsense. Yes, they are faithfully followed by extreme wingers, but most sane people find them to be a bad joke. However, in the case of the deranged Fux host Boo Hoo Beck, his particularly extremist message may trigger acts of violence from the far right, according to a new report.

In the report by the Anti-Defamation League, Boo Hoo is singled out as the "fearmonger in chief" driving anti-Government and anti-Obama rage among the most unhinged in our society through the wildest conspiracy theories, comparisons of the President with Hitler, and a steady stream of falsehoods and misinformation. As the report states:
"Ultimately, this anti-government anger, if it continues to grow in intensity and scope, may result in an increase in anti-government extremists and a potential for a rise of violent anti-government acts."
Let's hope there's never another Oklahoma City-type act of domestic violence, but should that awful crime be repeated, we know who provided the matches.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Prominent Conservatives Abducted (?)

Quick! Alert Boner and Missy McConnell, Boo Hoo and Manatee! This could be a job for Chuck Norris! It seems three prominent conservative activists have been abducted and a forged letter has been released in their names supporting the Obama administration's decision to bring Gitmo terrorists to federal prison in the U.S.! It must be forged, right?

Unless this is an elaborate hoax (in which case this posting will magically disappear), credit must be given to David Keene, Bob Barr and (ugh) Grover Norquist for co-authoring a letter sent to conservatives telling them they had no problem with the administration's plans and that, furthermore, the Rethugs should stop "scaremongering" about the relocation of Gitmo detainees. Who'da thunk it?! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get in the shower...

Take the Money. . . .Please!

Former CNN gasbag Loopy Lou Dobbs was apparently paid a cool $8 million by CNN just to leave the network. Loopy Lou's increasingly bizarre show, which must have spent 90% of its time bashing illegal immigrants (when only 1 or 2% of the population thought it was a major issue) over the past few years, was an embarrassment to CNN. Loopy's recent rants were about the President's birth certificate and the "socialist" agenda of Obama (who'll someday get credit for rescuing the financial market, GM and our free market economy in general).

Loopy Lou is going to be on Bill O'Liely's smearfest on Fux tonight, so he's probably auditioning for a spot in the Fux Channel's lineup. We think he'd work well as an Ed McMahon-type sidekick for Boo Hoo Beck: "And now, heeeeeerrrres Boo Hoo!!"

Weally Winky?

"Going Rogue," the ghostwritten tome of Alaska's Winky You Betcha, is being released today, and will certainly contain more fibs by the former Rethug VP candidate. McSame campaign officials who are castigated in the book have already called many of Winky's allegations false. The Associated Press obtained an advance copy of the book, and noted a number of false statements by Winky; she, in turn, has called AP's critique erroneous. We'll see about that, but we doubt that Winky's suddenly learned to tell the truth. As Sully notes in The Atlantic, she is on record for numerous falsehoods both during the campaign last year, and beyond. Of course, the boobs who want to believe her every whopper, and the cynical neocons who are riding on her popularity with the Rethug base, don't give a damn that she lies easily and without reflection, as long as the lies match their reality. 'Cause that's how they roll.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday Funnies

This guy (after you click on "continue to the Onion") is the perfect Tea Party candidate for office. "We're mad as hell... and just as confused!"

He'd certainly appeal to this crowd...

(h/t to Germantown Bureau Chief Brian)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Right's Surrender to Terrorists

That's the theme of Glenn Greenwald's dissection of the right's reaction to the decision to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and other 9/11 terrorists in New York City. Why do they fear American justice, these knee-jerk jerks? Boner, Cheney, noun-verb-9/11 Giuliani, the Fox Nutwork and the rest of the wingnut wurlitzer. Had Dumbya done this years ago, they would have hailed it as a courageous affirmation of the rule of law and the proper way to bring these killers to justice once and for all. What c**ksuckers...

Friday, November 13, 2009

On Fox Nutwork and the Decline of Conservatism

Sully has an interesting piece giving his perspective as a "classical" conservative (for lack of a more precise identifier) on the swill purveyed by the Fox Nutwork and how it is the enemy of true conservatism. In doing so, he pays particular attention to the Manatee and his pathologies. Note at the end who he says is the political figure representing the conservative tradition today (not that we necessarily agree, of course).

Do As We Say, Not As We Do Rethugs

Hmmm. Why are we not surprised by this? It seems until today the Rethug National Committee had an employee health insurance plan that, for the past 18 years, covered abortions. Then the whistle was blown on them for egregious hypocrisy, and Tin Man Steele manfully...uh...aborted the policy.

UPDATE: Surprise again! The RNC also has end of life counseling ("death panels") in his health insurance plan!

(Image: no worries - the RNC still covers this procedure)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Is It "Orly" or "Orally"?

Birther queen and raving lunatic Orly "Taint" Taitz was apparently gettin' some action on the side from one of her (disbarred) attorneys, Charles "Definitely Not Abe" Lincoln III, according to an affidavit filed in Federal district court documents. Taint, who is married, is alleged to have an ongoing affair with Not Abe Lincoln, as they moved forward with their bizarre and fraudulent case that the President was born in Kenya.

Not Abe Lincoln detailed his opinion of Taint's, um, "attributes" in the sack, according to a conversation with birther nut Lucas Smith, who stayed at Not Abe's house and was present when the nasty acts occurred. We earnestly hope that this will unfold further, opening up new career opportunities for Taint as an adult film star.

(photo: Orly gives us that come hither look)

Our Broken Media, Cont'd

Balloon Juice's John Cole wonders why exposing the lies of the far right and their demagogues in the wingnut media falls to Jon Stewart on Comedy Central, rather than, say, the mainstream media. Case in point: Stewart's mocking of Uberschmuck Sean "Heil" Hannity's obvious fakery on the unimpressive crowd size at last Thursday's teabagger ragefest in D.C.

The mainstream media (see ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper, for example) really have no interest in pointing out and correcting provable lies (they might be called "biased" toward the truth). Instead, they see their job as scorekeepers in the who's up/who's down game of Beltway politics. They are especially unobservant of lies manufactured by Rethugs, as we saw during eight years of Dumbya and the Dick, but especially ferocious when going after phony "issues" that work against the Dems.

When Saturday Night Live and Jon Stewart have to correct the record that mainstream "journalists" fail to correct, the laugh is on us.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hasta La Vista, Loopy Lou!

Loopy Lou Dobbs announced his immediate resignation from CNN on his broadcast tonight. Can Boo-Hoo be far behind? One can only hope...

UPDATE: Here's a compilation of some of Loopy Lou's more infamous moments. For future reference if, as Loopy is hinting, he runs for elective office.

Remembering the Vets

From our family came soldiers who served in wars from the Civil War to Vietnam. We honor and thank all veterans for their sacrifices.

Shooting the Moon(ies)

As we noted last Monday, the right wing Moonie Washington Times is starting to resemble Mutiny on the Bounty. HuffPo is reporting that armed guards are now posted in the paper's newsroom. With a circulation less than such papers as the Worcester MA Telegraph & Gazette, and the Allentown PA Morning Call, the paper's not setting the Washington, DC world on fire (unless you include the normal flammable flatulence from the likes of neocon Frank "Gaffer" Gaffney and reliable winger Mona "The Bona" Charen). But armed guards? Then again, when righties panic, their authoritarian side comes to the fore. If things continue sliding, maybe guard towers are next.

Op Eds Worth Reading

Kaplan Daily has three (3!) op eds worth reading today: Ruth Marcus on Rethug health care reform scare tactics; Harold Meyerson and Steven Perlstein on the problematic Senate. Tomorrow: full monty bipartisan Rethug "balance" with Kraphammer, Quill, Wee Willie and a guest column by Sarah Palin?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Rethug Sex Blotter - Idaho? No You Da Ho Edition

Tape your ribs up good before you check out this sad tale on Wonkette about serial condom litterbug and now ex Idaho Rethug National Committeeman Blake Hall and his married ex-girlfriend. The header above the headline? "Your Move South Carolina." Priceless.

(Photo: Idaho Rethug Blake Hall, less a couple dozen condoms)

The Fairness Doctrine

Steve Almond, writing in the Boston Globe, has an excellent piece on why the Fairness Doctrine should be reestablished (it was abolished in 1987, spawning the hate-radio culture we have today). Almond (I love this guy) goes after the "cultural flim-flam" artists and "fraudulent moralists" that populate hate radio (do images of Loopy Lou Dobbs, Boo-Hoo Beck and Pills Limpballs immediately smack you in the face?).

So far the Obama administration has shown little interest in reviving the Fairness Doctrine, which would force broadcasters using public airways to provide an alternate view to the right-wing hate shouting going on now. Let's hope the administration or Congress gets to it before the hate-radio fueled teabaggers vote everyone out of office.

Clinton Meeting With Senate Dems

Former President Bill Clinton is meeting with the Senate Democratic caucus today in hopes of energizing and focusing them for the health care fight ahead (no word whether Sen. Lieberliar (Ass-CT) will be there to take notes for the Rethugs). Clinton should bear down on some of the "conservaDems" like fellow Arkansasans Blanche Lincoln and Mark Pryor and remind them what the party has been fighting for over the past 50 years: universal health insurance. They seem to have forgotten.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Mind Like A Steele Crap

In an interview with Roland Martin, Rethuglican National Chairclown Michael "Tin Man" Steele declared that white Rethuglicans are "scared" of him.

Well, yes, Tin Man, but only when they're not wearing their white hoods. Maybe if you adopted a friendly, non-threatening persona, say a tap dancer, that would ease their discomfort and conform to their stereotype of you.

(image: a good first start to making the white folks more comfortable with you)

"Getting the Strongest Bill Possible"

That's the title of Steve Benen's piece over at Washington Monthly, and as usual, Benen is the voice of reason and perspective. Progressives need to remember that while Obama may be no FDR, FDR was no FDR especially when it came to the original Social Security Act. As Benen says, the fight won't be over even after we get the strongest bill possible.

Wingnut Media Takes Hits

Times are tough for two wingnut media outlets, the Moonie Times and the NY Post.

Seems there's a major shakeup going on at the Moonie Times (circulation about 60,000 -- hee hee). Right-wing hack executive editor John "Not the Wise One" Solomon is thought to be on his way out after a Sunday purge of three other executives at Rev. Moon's shitty rag. We're sure Fred "Sir Wanksalot" Hiatt will be able to find a job for Solomon at the Kaplan Daily if necessary. Or Tippy Tapper could help a guy from a "sister organization."

The news at Rupert Murdoch's NY Post is worse: a 30% drop in circulation in the past 2.5 years, much more than comparable newspapers. That puts the Post, which once was the #3 newspaper in the city, back at #4 (What?! It beats the Village Voice?!).

(Image: John Solomon, polishing up his resume.)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Quote of the Day

"This kind of political hatred is indecent and disgusting." -- Holocaust survivor, Nazi hunter and Nobel prize winner Elie Wiesel on the Rethuglican bases' use of Dachau and death camps to attack health care reform (via Sully in The Atlantic). It's noteworthy that no Rethuglican leader has condemned the rabid extremists that show up at the "tea party" rallies. Let them ride the tiger until it eats them.

SNL Explodes Fox Nutwork's Election Coverage

In case you missed it, here's the SNL gang's take on the Fox Nutwork (Tippy Tapper's "sister organization") 2009 election coverage (via HuffPost). More! More!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Boo-Hoo Tragically Lives On

More Boo-Hoo for those who can't get enough of the psychotic, porcine prick, this time from The Onion (h/t to Germantown Bureau Chief Brian).

Friday, November 6, 2009

No Asian Driver Jokes, Please

You've got to hand it to Cha Sa-soon (no relation to Vidal): she's one determined Korean! (This is NOT from the Onion!)

May the Dems be so lucky as to pass health care on their first try!

A Classic Parody of Boo Hoo

Check out the brilliant and feisty Jon Stewart's classic parody of the deranged Fux News personality Glenn "Boo Hoo" Beck, via Media Matters. Boo Hoo had an attack of appendicitis a couple of days ago, and that gives Jon the opening for this hilarious take off on the blubbering sociopath of right wing media.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Quote of the Day

"When your captain's crazy, it's time to find a new ship." -- a conservative Rethuglican congressman commenting on Rep. Michelle "I See Commies" Bachmann's chief of staff quitting after only 9 months on the job. Certainly, Crazy Michelle's nuttiness must have been a factor, as well as her unfamiliarity with the truth.

BTW, today Crazy Michelle is heading up a Fux News-promoted teabagger rally* on the Capitol steps to protest a House bill that would guarantee decent health care for all Americans.
*which seems to have drawn upwards of 3,500 wingers in what Crazy Michelle called "the Super Bowl" of freedom; more like the Tidy Bowl of Cluelessness. . . [mff snicker mff snicker]. . . oh what the hell, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

AARP To Endorse House Health Reform Bill

Mega-seniors organization (40 million strong) AARP is going to endorse the House Democrats' health reform bill as early as tomorrow. This should give the bill a critical boost, and cover for weak-kneed Dems, as the bill moves toward a floor vote in the next few days.

Narcissism, Limpballs, and Ass Cracks

MoDo's column in today's New York Times thoroughly reams Pills Limpballs for his narcissism and grand ego, and is worth a read. Years ago, she was actually able to get through a dinner with the porcine Pills, who comes across as a massive ball of pig manure.

He also seems obsessed with "anal poisoning," as Media Matters points out. Perhaps this is a psychological/proctological reflection of his Vietnam War-era draft dodging, when Pills escaped the draft by having a cyst in his ass crack. How it got there is subject to speculation, but anal poisoning can't be ruled out.

(photo: Limpballs performs a self-examination for anal poisoning)

Post Election Punditry 101

candidates who didn't distance themselves from Obama (Cong.-elect Owens, NY-23);
Rethugs who didn't invite Sarah Palin to campaign for them (McDonnell, Christie);
Rethugs who ran ads incorporating Obama and his hope message (Christie);
Rethugs who didn't display their party label and ran to the "middle" (McDonnell and Christie).

candidates who distanced themselves from Obama and his programs (Deeds);
Rethugs who backed far-right Doug "Crazy Eyes" Hoffman in NY-23 (Palin, Pawlenty, the Tea Baggers, etc.);
candidates with Goldman Sachs/ Wall Street bloodlines (Corzine);
oh, and Doughy Pantload's bro'.

Done, Baby, Done

Wingnuts were absolutely sure that they had the NY 23 district race in the bag with their Conservative Party standard-bearer Doug "Crazy Eyes" Hoffman. But the voters had a different message for the know-nothing candidate, who didn't even live in the district: we're not ready for your type of crazy. Dem Bill Owens was elected. Rethug wingnuts from Winky You Betcha to Gov. Tim "Bad N'" Pawlenty lined up behind Crazy Eyes because the Rethuglican candidate was too moderate for them. Using her policy platform -- Facebook -- Winky fired out her pre-election message: "Doug, Baby, Doug." Missed it by two letters. . .

Message to the wingers: please, please keep following this "straterg-y" in all future elections, so that you drive more and more Independents and moderates away from your far right Party, and so that more Dems are elected. Please!

(photo: Crazy Eyes was rejected for a role in "Men Who Stare At Goats.")

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Election Erections

Expect the mainstream media to make mountains out of today's off-cycle election molehills. What they won't get into -- because they need to stay superficial -- is that both McDonnell in Virginia and Christie in New Jersey ran campaigns that were generally moderate Rethuglican pap; neither wanted snowbilly queen Winky You Betcha campaigning for them, and Christie ran ads that had images of President Obama in a favorable light.

That won't stop the MSM nitwits from ginning up phony excitement if Rethugs win in Virginia and New York's 23rd district (where they've held office virtually since the Civil War -- the Union vs. the Confederates, not the Rethugs vs. themselves). The theme? Obama needs to trim his sails because "real America" is wary of his progressive agenda. Thus creating yet another phony MSM "issue": after 10 months in office, is President Obama finished? Either way, Rethugs win, Dems lose.

Odd how we didn't see the same nonsense after Dumbya's first 10 months (9-11, 9-11, 9-11!!!)

The Party Girl's Warning

For a glimpse into what motivates Beltway media villagers, Digby picks up on a quote from Village dowager Sally "Party Girl" Quinn in the London Times on Line about First Lady Michelle Obama:
"I'm not sure if I had been her advisor I would have said for her to do the Glamour cover because it might begin to trivialize her and what her role is."
For those who might think this is a sympathetic shout out to Ms. Obama, think again. Party Girl is firing a warning shot at the Obamas that they need to bring her into their circle. After all, when First Lady Hillary Clinton turned down an invitation from Party Girl to a Villager elite luncheon in 1993, Party Girl -- with her column in the Kaplan Daily -- was furious and made sure she slimed the Clintons for the remainder of his term in office. Fair warning is fair warning!

Party Girl is part of the club of "journalist" elites that truly believe that they run the Nation's capital, and shall not be ignored. After all, Party Girl got her position the hard way -- she slept with her married boss, former Kaplan Daily editor Ben Bradlee, whom she later married. Success, villager style.

(photo: Party Girl after partying)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Fisticuffs at the Kaplan Daily!

Stop the presses! Hold that punch! Kaplan Daily's Style feature editor Henry "The Geritol Kid" Allen was involved in a beat-down of one of his writers, Manuel "The Kid" Roig-Franzia, the other day. Seems the 70-ish Allen was upset with a "charticle" Roig-Franzia and his co-writer Monica "I'm No Herman" Hesse had presented him on famous leaks. Managing editor Marcus "Broccoli" Brauchli had to break up the combatants himself.

Hey! Maybe instead of the Kaplan Daily selling access via Katherine Weymouth's "salons," Broccoli could sell tickets to "The Newsroom Fights!"

(Image: A normal day at the Kaplan Daily.)

Limpballs Gives Fux His Seal of Approval

Think Progress picked up on a revealing moment in yesterday's kiss-fest on the Fux News Sunday show between Pills Limpballs and that beady-eyed little creep Chris (W)all-ass. Asking only softball questions during his hour of worship of the Drugster, (W)all-ass didn't object (gasp!)when Pills lumped Fux in with other "conservative" media like hate radio. We're shocked, SHOCKED!! that (W)all-ass didn't respond thusly: "No, no sir. While we have the utmost respect for you and your fine listeners, we are [snicker] fair and [snicker] balanced! Oh, the hell with it. . . haw haw haw."

Someone alert ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper and stand by with a fainting couch and smelling salts.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

NY-23 Fallout

Steve Benen has a good summary of the potential fallout from moderate Republican Dede Scozzafava's withdrawal from the special election in NY-23, leaving the field to tea bag/ wingnut candidate Doug "Crazy Eyes" Hoffman. Embedded within Benen's piece is a pithy quote from Frank Rich. May the Rethug tent continue to shrink itself!

UPDATE: Scozzafava has now endorsed Democrat Bill Owens for the seat over wingnutty Hoffman, as has the district's largest newspaper, the Watertown Daily Times, which originally backed Scozzafava.

(Photo: Doug "Crazy Eyes" Hoffman, pure-bred wingnut.)

The Acorn the Ombudsman Never Finds

The Kaplan Daily's "Ombudsman" Andrew "O" Alexander's column today is all about reporters' conflicts of interest. One is Juliet Eilperin, who covers climate change and is married to a "liberal activist" at the Center for American Progress. Verdict from the O?
"It's a close call, but I think she should stay on the beat. With her work now getting special scrutiny, it will become clear if the conflict is real." (my emphasis)

The other reporter? None other than Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz. Is Kurtz's marital connection to Rethug consultant and commentator Sheri Annis even mentioned? Uh, no. Is Howie getting "special scrutiny" from his Kaplan editors? Uh, no. Is Howie getting a free pass, and is this another example of Kaplan's separate rules for progressives and right-wingers? Uh, yes and yes.

(Image: Don't adjust your screens - Howie the acorn exists in a separate, alternate universe.)