Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Hit and Run

The Democratic Senate Campaign Committee has a new video out that clearly fingers the Rethugs as the "hit and run" perpetrators on the economy, who are now leaving the scene of the accident they caused by not working with President Obama.
It boils the problem with the Rethugs down very nicely. Good work.

Good Numbers

President Obama's job approval ratings remain at a high 66 percent, according to a new WaPo/ABC News poll. The poll also finds that 42 percent think the country is heading in the right direction, compared to only 15 percent in December, when Preznit Chimpy was winding down his awesome Presidency. Here's hoping that optimism helps to fuel the economic recovery.

As a bonus for the Obamas, First Lady Michelle Obama's favorability ratings are 76 percent, up 28 points from last summer.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Another Wingnut "Moran"

Please note the Barbie holding the sign on the left. What's wrong with these morans? (Hint: They're having a crisis of speling.)

The Cornyn Limited Modified Long-Term Hangout Strategery

Sen. John Cornyn (Rethug-TX), the original urban "cowboy", has been touting the line that the Minnesota Senate election farce could drag on for years, and is threatening "World War III" if Al Franken is seated (assuming, as most do, the Minnesota court will throw out Stormin' Norman Coleman's suit any day now).

Cornyn, who is well-within the Texas Rethug tradition of being all hat and no cattle, should continue to paint himself in a corner with pronouncements like this, which are really just sad attempts to "play the refs" in the ongoing but ultimately fruitless quest by Stormin' Norman to hold on to his seat. In so doing, Cornyn will be exposed to an even wider audience as the giant ass bubble that he is.

Sham Bam, Thank You Ma'm

The Huffington Post had a story about ShamWow pitchman Vince "Sham" Shlomi getting arrested in Miami for assault on a prostitute that he picked up in his hotel's bar.

Maybe she objected when he tried to use a ShamWow as a condom.

Kurtz on The Fox (Abomi)Nation

WaPo's Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz has an uncritical look at Fux's latest attempt to be relevant: "Fox Nation," its "opinionated" new web site. Opinionated? Tell us more, Howie... we're waiting... still waiting...

Well, wait all you want, but Howie (aka "Mr. Sherri Annis," Rethug strategist) doesn't want to cast any aspersions on the new web site's predictable wingnut cast (Manatee, Beck, O'Really?, Rove, etc.) and how it squares with the web site's slogan: "It's Time to Say NO to Biased Media and Say YES to Fair Play and Free Speech." Hahahahahahaha. Oh, now we get it: it's going to be a comedy web site!

Howie also wants us to know how successful Fux has been since it went anti-Obama 24/7 (it wasn't that way already??). Howie, whose columns should always be accompanied by the warning, "Reprinted by permission of the Republican National Committee, Tin Man Steele, Chairman Y'all," would be dropping all sorts of adjectives/ "pejoratives" ("far-left", "ultra liberal", etc.) if, say, MSNBC were launching a new venture. What we may never know for sure is whether Howie is performing thusly out of conviction, or whether he's afraid his wife won't grant him quarterly sex if he doesn't toe the party line.

(Photo: Howie, whose world remains upside down since the November election)

Quote of the Day

"I'm a rodeo clown" -- unhinged Fox crybaby Glenn "Hanky" Beck in a New York Times article.

Yes, you are, Hanky. No arguments there. You're also mentally unstable, and the problem is that there are other mentally unstable Timothy McVeighs in your audience who listen to your crap, and want to go out and blow something up.

Dead-Eye's Tortured Lie

Anyone who would believe a single word out of Dead-Eye Dick Cheney's mouth at this point would believe anything. His frequent lie that "enhanced interrogation" methods -- torture -- produced a ton of valuable intelligence has been contradicted by former senior government officials who followed the interrogation of terrorist Abu Zubaida:

"The methods succeeded in breaking him, and the stories he told of al Qaeda terrorism plots sent CIA officers around the globe chasing leads. In the end, though, not a single significant plot was foiled as a result of Abu Zubaida's tortured confessions. . ."

Confessions or intelligence coerced by torture are notoriously unreliable, as any intelligence or military professional would tell you.

As Iraq was a diversion that ended up bleeding our military efforts against al Qaeda and weakening our position in the Middle East by empowering Iran, torture was a diversion that produced little or no useful intelligence, despite the chest-beating claims of Dead-Eye and the neocons. Maybe this was all about Dead-Eye and crew just wanting to have a little vicarious "fun."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

"There's Never Anything Good in Here"

"Family Guy" takes on Fox News (again). HuffPo gives us the link. LOL: Check out the "refrigerator" and the comment, "There's never anything good in here."

Rethugs' "Road to Recovery"

FiveThirtyEight's Nate Silver has a preview of the forthcoming (?) Rethug alternative reality, er, I mean alternative "budget." There are still some question marks remaining, as far as revenue sources. We have a suggestion or two: invest in the aluminum foil industry (there's been a surge in wingnut demand for hat material of late), and harness the heat from global warming to power more drilling in more inappropriate places. Just a start. No need to thank us.

(Image: Rethugs - investing in America's future!)

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Bachmann Overdrive

Rep. Michelle "Anti-American" Bachmann (Loon-MN) is at it again, dog whistling to her fellow loons and listeners of Sean "Manatee" Hannity's radio rant to revolt against the elected government of the United States. Hmmm... last time we checked that was, uh, treason. Apologists want to parse the loon's rant to mean a "peaceful" revolution, but to the mental defectives that take their instructions from the likes of Bachmann and Hannity, it could easily be taken as a call to violence against the government. Tim McVeigh, anyone?

Let's see how long it takes for the "leaders" of her party to rein her in. Once again, as we always caution when it comes to reining in extremist rhetoric by the far right, don't hold your breath.

(Photo: The Minnesota loon, soon -- 2010?-- on the endangered species list.)

Friday, March 27, 2009

Budget Wizards

Well, the Rethuglican "leaders" on Capitol Hill took President Obama's challenge seriously, and came up with their own, er, budget, er, blueprint. Except, it didn't have any budget numbers. Well done, Rethugs! And please ignore the almost universal mockery that your "blueprint" is receiving, from right to left. It's easy to mock; it's hard to develop fuzzy balloon diagrams that say absolutely nothing.

We didn't see a proposal for spray-tan subsidies, so we assume Rethug Minority Leader John "Boner" Boehner was out of the loop on that essential item.


Given Duke's prominence in college basketball over the years, and their often arrogant attitude and their insufferable fans, we were happy to see the Villanova Wildcats cream Duke by 23 points, 77 - 54, in the East Region semifinal last night.

Please Answer Our Prayer

Just before her debate with Joe Biden, Gov. Winky You Betcha says that she wanted to hold hands in prayer with campaign aides, but said there was "nobody I could find that I wanted to hold hands with and pray." Hmmm, now we know why Winky lost the debate: not because of her simple ignorance, her inappropriate body language, and folksy inanities. It was because she couldn't find anyone she wanted to pray with.

Well, Gov. Winky, we'll say a prayer here at Hackwhackers. "Lord, please keep Gov. Winky around making idiotic statments. Amen."

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Mind Like A "Steele" Trap

That oh-so-clever Rethuglican National Chairman Michael "Tin Man" Steele is on the airwaves again, serving up some real howlers for us to enjoy. Just when we thought his multiple gaffes had forced him to retreat from the public eye, Tin Man appears on CNN and discloses that the dust-up with Rethug Dear Leader Pills Limpballs was all part of Tin Man's "strategy," and was planned by Tin Man to understand his "position on the chessboard." Riiight, say something critical of Pills, then be humiliated by having to retract it and apologize, that's smart strategy!

We dearly hope that Tin Man continues to speak often and loudly. And keeps playing chess.

John Hope Franklin, R.I.P.

One of America's greatest historians, John Hope Franklin, passed away yesterday at the age of 94. Franklin, a 1995 Medal of Freedom awardee, was an eminent scholar who chronicled American history from his perspective as an African American. He taught at Duke, Harvard and the University of Chicago, as well as Howard University and Brooklyn College, where he headed the history department. His books have been on reading lists for college history and black studies courses for generations, including the groundbreaking "From Slavery to Freedom." He lived a truly honorable life that influenced so very many people.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Our Broken Media, Cont'd.

Yesterday's press conference with President Obama highlighted the strange obsessions of the mainstream media, which is trying it's best to adjust to right-wing criticism of bias toward Obama. You can predict the questions to be asked by scanning right-wing blog sites, which echo Rethuglican talking points of the day. They are almost always tangential to the concerns of the public or substantive policy.

The Associated Press' Ron Fournier, who was once offered a job with the McNasty campaign for his loyalty, is dwelling on a right-wing topic du jour: Obama's use of the teleprompter. Why is this a right-wing obsession? Perhaps they're trying to question the President's intellect or communication skills. Well, after Dumbya, any score above 1 in those categories would win.

Quote of the Day

"It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak." -- President Obama in last night's press conference, responding to badgering by CNN's Ed "Action" Henry who kept wondering why the President didn't go postal immediately on hearing about the AIG executive bonuses.

"Action" Henry, of course, would have called in air strikes on AIG if he were President, because mainstream media weenies like "action" over, you know, "thinking." (See Iraq War media cheerleading, Dumbya)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Bringing The Funny, Wingnut Style

Wingnut blogger and host of the execrable late night "Red Eye" show on the Fux Channel. Greg "Gutless" Gutfeld, is being reamed for his comments disparaging the Canadian army forces in Afghanistan. "Isn't this the perfect time to invade this ridiculous country. They have no army," Gutless said on the very day that 4 Canadian soldiers' bodies arrived home from Afghanistan. Wingnut humor at its best. Gutless himself is a chickenhawk, having never served in the military, and has failed at everything he's worked at. Now he's parked on a cable channel in the wee hours of the morning, sharing viewership with AbBurner commercials, and isn't worthy of wiping the boots of a Canadian soldier.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Volcano? What Volcano?

The news that Alaska's Mount Redoubt is erupting reminds us of Louisiana Governor Bobby "Bo Jingles" Jindal's mocking of $140 million in the budget for volcano monitoring. And Federal assistance for hurricane Katrina victims? Bo Jingles thinks the people of Louisiana could have had a couple of bake sales and an ol' fashioned barn raising to take care of that. With a volcano erupting in Alaska, Gov. Winky You Betcha better get baking.

Winky and Bo Jingles in 2012!!

(photo: Uh, Gov. Jingles, watch the lava flow behind you)

Awww, The Villagers Are Upset

The beltway media villagers are steamed that President Obama declined to attend last Saturday's white tie Gridiron Dinner in order to entertain them. The indignity! Who does the President think he is? The President? Via today's WaPo, some observations from the Obama-less dinner:
"Here's NBC's Andrea Mitchell in a bear costume. . .'Kiss the Dow goodbye and let the markets tumble'. . .ho ho, ha ha! Garcon, more champagne. . .now a quick peek backstage, where the Gridiron Club's members are donning costumes, downing drinks and simmering over the President's absense. They're 'very upset' and 'dissed'. . .Obama cited family commitments, but it's entirely possible that he didn't want to be seen in white tie and tails at a $300-a-plate dinner of lobster panna cotta, yukking it up with Beltway insiders, while the economy bottoms out."

Bullseye. The elitist Villagers are so clueless about how they're perceived and so wrapped up in their own self-importance. We'd like to see the President skip the other "dinners" (WH correspondent's dinner, Alfalfa club, etc.) coming up with the Villager mob. Let them eat cake.

Firing Back, With Both Barrels

President Obama, appearing on 60 Minutes, responded to Dead-Eye Dick Cheney's accusation last week that the closing of Guantanamo would make the country less safe. He blasted Dead-Eye, saying his philosophy "has done incredible damage to our image and position in the world. . . it hasn't made us safer." And while Dead-Eye is convinced that torture is an effective intelligence-gathering method, intelligence and military experts are almost unanimous in the belief that torture produces mostly false information, which then has to be tracked down as if it were authentic.

It's good to see Obama not mince words in responding to the sinister former VP. More people with knowledge of the Gitmo situation and the impact of using torture on our security need to come forward with their stories.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Whew, That Was Close!

The 12th seeded University of Wisconsin Badgers toughed out a 61-59 win in overtime over the fifth seeded Florida State University Seminoles last night. Badger stars Trevon Hughes and Jason Bohannan pulled the game out in the final minutes by three point shooting (Bohannan) and a last second layup (Hughes). Next up: Xavier, a very tough opponent with depth and athletic ability. Here's hoping for another upset.

(photo: yours truly after a rough day)

Friday, March 20, 2009

An Anniversary Noted

It's been six years since the U.S. launched the war on Iraq, despite the fact that al Qaeda was still undefeated in the Afghan/Pakistan frontier. Rethugs are running around claiming "victory" even though the forces that attacked us have rebuilt, and the regime in Iran has more power in the region than 6 years ago. Not even Gens. Petraeus and Odierno are doing the victory dance. The Iraqi government wants us to leave on a specific timetable, and some experts (Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Thomas Ricks) believe that Iraq will end up ruled by a Shiite strongman, the mirror image of Sunni Baathist Saddam Hussein, but with close ties to fundmentalist Iran.

Heckuva job.

Git Edumacated!

Here's today's howler, via Balloon Juice: Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha is rejecting about 45% of the Federal stimulus funds. The largest share of the funds Winky is rejecting? Funds for education. From the brainiest governor of them all.

After all, "we don't need no education, we don't need no thought control. . .hey! teachers! leave them kids alone" would be a good campaign song for 2012.

(photo: one smart kookie, er, cookie)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dissecting Dead-Eye's Interview

Jon Stewart shows CNN's John "The Schnoz" King how to interpret Dead-Eye Dick Cheney's lying blather.

There's no one better than Stewart at this.

Yes, Bay-beee!

The Onion reports that veteran basketball commentator Dick Vitale enjoys a better sex life during the March Madness/NCAA College Basketball Tournament. Slam dunk, bay-beee!

Calling It Like You See It

Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, the former chief of staff for Secretary of State Colin Powell, appeared on Rachel Maddow's show last night, and didn't spare any niceties in describing former (Vice) President Dead-Eye Dick Cheney as "evil." Wilkerson's article in the Washington Note prompted his appearance, and mentions Dead-Eye's support for torture, and abuses at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib as supplying al Qaeda with invaluable recruiting ammunition, and directly aiding the terrorists' cause. Dead-Eye has been active lately in criticizing the Obama Administration for reversing some of the Bushit Assministration's policies, claiming it's made us more vulnerable to attack. Wilkerson disagrees, saying that al Qaeda was counting on Dead-Eye and crew to go to the extreme and provide additional incentive for young Muslims to sign up:

"With people such as Cheney assisting them, they are far more likely to succeed."

Big Wig Air

In keeping with today's anti-corporate zeitgeist, JetBlue has a series of commercials that are funny as hell. Enjoy, you riff-raff.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Quote of the Day

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened." -- Dumbya, presumably meaning "authoritative," talking about his yet-to-be-written "memoirs." The memoirs will obviously have to be ghost written, given Dumbya's unfamiliarity with the English language. And this clod was President for 8 years. . . .

Look Who's Defending The AIG Bonuses: Rethugs!

It didn't take long for the Rethuglican elite to come to the defense of the corporate pirates that wrecked AIG and who are pocketing millions in bonuses. Given the choice of siding with the taxpayers or the mega-millionaires, these wingers went with their buds. Take Rethuglican Dear Leader Pills Limpballs ("he who must be obeyed"), who said that "peasants with their pitchforks" were surrounding AIG headquarters. Peasants! Pills, you need to be more subtle with your class warfare than that. Granted what you spend per year in Oxycontin would support three middle class families, but you have to be more "populist" with your Dittohead audience who might be some of those "peasants." Then there's CNBC's Rick "the Dick" Santelli and Rethuglican Senator John "Smile" Kyl, who think the millions given in undeserved bonuses are not worthy of attention and that the issue is being demagogued. Finally, we have former White House Press Suckertary Dana "If My Lips Are Moving I'm Lying" Perino, who also wants to call off the dogs, and let her "middle class" buddies in the Hamptons continue the lifestyle to which they've become accustomed.

Maybe next we can hear from Joe (not his name) the Plumber (not really a plumber), Rethuglican philosopher.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day

To all Irishmen, and honorary Irishmen, Happy St. Patrick's Day. Erin Go Bragh!

Let Jon Stewart Handle John King's Interviews

The HuffPo's Arianna Huffington thinks Jon Stewart would have handled the Sunday interview with Dead-Eye Dick Cheney better than CNN's John "The Schnoz" King. The Schnoz was almost obsequious in his interview with the former (Vice) President, failing to follow up on the obvious whoppers that Dead-Eye was feeding him. Whether it was about the economic mess that the Dumbya/Dead-Eye duo left to the war in Iraq and national security, the Schnoz accepted Dead-Eye's nonsense at face value. You'd think someone with a nose like his would smell something.

Jon Stewart, on the other hand, has multiple times the journalistic instinct than the Schnoz and would have given CNN viewers a riveting and thorough grilling of the former veep-weasel. Too bad it was the Schnoz and not Stewart.

(photo: Sniffing out the stories for CNN)

Question: What Does It Take To Get Geithner Moving?

A swift kick in the ass from the President? It shouldn't. There's a lot of concern that Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is either too timid or too immersed in the Wall Street culture to be effective in managing the financial bailouts. The AIG bonus scandal is rocking the Government, with politicians on both sides of the aisle demanding that executives in the AIG financial products group be denied their bonuses (the Rethug outrage is phony, of course -- these are their peeps). There are questions about whether Geithner knew some time ago about the bonuses, and was either unconcerned or too clueless to raise a red flag. The Administration is beginning to grasp the outrage of the public over the bailouts and bonuses, while unemployment rises, retirement funds drop, and homes are lost. If Geithner can't, or won't, get out in front of the problem, he'll damage Obama's overall agenda well into the future.

UPDATE: The Senate Finance Committee is actively looking into a targeted tax to recover the bonuses from the AIG clowns. Would a 99.999 percent rate be OK?

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Corporate Elitists Haven't Learned A Thing

The story of huge bonuses paid by insurance giant AIG got major attention on the Sunday gab fests. AIG, which received $173 billion in U.S. bailout funds, paid $163 million in bonuses to officials in its financial products unit -- the unit that caused the $62 billion in losses for AIG. Now, calls for firing AIG executives are mounting, including House Financial Services Committee chair Barney Frank who said,

"This is an example of people at the commanding heights of the economy misbehaving, abusing the system."

AIG Chairman Edward "Don't Call Me Gordon" Liddy huffily explained that the bonuses represent "contracts" that are legally binding. Fine. Then AIG should pay the bonuses out of whatever assets it has, or can sell. And then the Government should insist on a change in leadership at AIG before any more public funds are spent.

UPDATE: President Obama said today he intends to stop AIG from paying out these bonuses, calling the situation an "outrage."

UPDATE 2: Four experts tell us how the U.S. government can short-circuit the AIG executives' money grab.

Cat Fight of the Week

For about a week now, those dizzy dames of the far right, (M)Ann Coulter and Laura "Bat Shit" Ingraham, have been in a full-blown cat fight with Meghan McCain, daughter of you-know-who. To catch us up, here are some quotes via today's WaPo:

McCain on Coulter: "I find her offensive, radical, insulting and confusing all at the same time" (from Monday's Daily Beast).

Ingraham on McCain: Do you think that anyone would be talking to you if you weren't kind of cute and you weren't the daughter of John McCain?" Bat Shit then goes on to mock McCain's supposed "plus-size."

McCain on both: "At this point, I have more respect for Ann Coulter than I do for Laura Ingraham, because at least Coulter didn't come back at me with heartless, substance-less attacks about my weight" (from Saturday's Daily Beast).

It occurs to us that Meghan McCain is exhibiting more, um, balls in standing up to the bizzaros on the far right than the Tin Man (see below). Meghan for RNC Chairman?

(Photo: (M)Ann Coulter: offensive, radical, insulting and confusing, oh, and SCARY!)

Hip Hopping Away

The Rethuglican National Commitee is saying that their chairman, Michael "Tin Man" Steele, will be taking himself out of the media spotlight for a while, following almost two months of non-stop gaffes and humiliations (ranging from his "off the hook" campaign to improve the Rethug image, to his latest gaffe where he supported abortion rights before reversing his position). Gee, we didn't see that coming.

Although we don't think they can keep Tin Man quiet for long -- a microphone and TV camera are like magnets to him -- we would be sad if the Rethugs actually succeeded in quieting him. Please keep the political comic gold coming, Tin Man!

(photo: Hip hopping away to an undisclosed location, for shizzle. Hat tip to ZaiusNation)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Hackwhackers a la King

(Again, without apologies to Larry King, and back by popular demand.)

John King here at CNN is all the time telling me what a great journalist he is. What do you think? I have no opinion myself except that, on a personal level, Dana Bash could've done a lot better. So could John King, for that matter.

Did you see Jon Stewart's smackdown of Jim Cramer Thursday night? I'm glad he gave Cramer what-for. Little MF cost me a couple of hundred g's by taking his advice and sticking with Bear Stearns.

And how about my "pal" Bernie Madoff? MF cost me almost a mil. Shyster putz!

You can't spell Twitter without the twit.

Did you know I get paid by the word?

I enjoy reading and hearing all the advice Republicans are giving Obama. My attitude is, they of all people would know how things got so f*cked up, and now they can help lead us out of the deep hole Obama has gotten us into in his administration - the last couple of months, I mean!

I'm told I suffered a severe head injury this morning. And I get paid by the word.

My favorite entertainer is Liza Minnelli. She'll be back on top some day. I bet a sawbuck on it with my wife. (I'd say Judy Garland was my favorite, but I think she's dead. If I'm wrong, give me a call on my private line, Judy.)

Good night from Hollywood!

(Not my best photo, but the sideburns are kick ass.)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

It's Only Partisanship If Obama Does It

...Or so says the "mainstream media" in its increasingly strident attempts to clasp hands (or other appendages) with the Rethugs to bring President Obama down (good luck with that, numbnuts!). Latest example: "reporter" "Not So Great" Scott Wilson in the Rethug-lite WaPo. Paraphrasing Wilson, whose article is more like faulty analysis than news reporting, Obama will lose his post-partisan cred if he responds to the barrage of nit-picking and historical revisionism that currently occupies the Rethugs and their media handmaidens. That's right, Scott, focus on the one person who's trying to do something in a different way than you Villagers are accustomed to, and ignore the hypocritical, silly attempts by the Rethugs to hang the current economic mess on Obama. Oh, Scott, one more thing: Obama's been in office less than two months, you horse's ass!

(Photo: WaPo's Scott Wilson writing the great American news novel: "How Obama Failed After Two Months.")

Friday, March 13, 2009

Product Recall!

Hopefully, it's not to late to comply with this pot pie recall, courtesy The Onion. Better send in the Oreos and cold milk, too.

Quote of the Week

"And you can tell Doucheborough it's not supposed to be fair." -- the Daily Show's Jon Stewart, at the end of his take down of CNBC squawker Jim Cramer, referring to MSNBC conserva-clown "Morning Joe" Scarborough's encouragement of Cramer to fight back against what he claimed was Stewart's unfair criticism of CNBC.

A Simmering Mess In Pakistan

From early in our blog, we've been watching events in Afghanistan and in neighboring nuclear-armed Pakistan with growing concern. The Bushit Assministration stood by and watched the government of Pervez Musharraf cut deals with Taliban-supporting tribes and virtually opt out of pursuing al Qaeda, preferring to focus on an Iraqi dictator that wasn't involved in the 9-11 attacks.

Now, there is a serious internal squabble between President Zardari and the leader of the opposition, Nawaz Sharif, largely over restrictions placed on the judiciary and the political activities of the opposition. Large protests have erupted across Pakistan, and the situation has the potential of spinning out of control. Not good for a country with nuclear weapons and a significant number of its population with anti-American views. For now, the Pakistani Army -- a Western-leaning institution -- is focused on arch rival India, and not on supressing al Qaeda and Talibanists seeking to install a fundamentalist regime. That may change in the weeks ahead.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Steele Trap

He's done it again. Rethuglican National Committee chairman Michael "Tin Man" Steele was interviewed by GQ magazine and stated his support for women to have an "invividual choice" about abortion. The American Taliban's alarms went off, pressure was turned up, and today Tin Man backed off of his statement. Most Rethuglican officials are coming to the conclusion that Tin Man is an unstoppable gaffe machine, and that he's needs to go before he calls on Russia to invade the U.S. We're hoping, of course, that he has a long, long tenure at the RNC.

(photo: Tin Man holds his only friend)

Rethuglican Family Values, Cont'd.

Speaking of Rethuglican politicians and prostitutes, the wife of the former chairman of the Cook County, Illinois Rethuglican Party discovered him with two prostitutes at their home over the weekend, which ended in the wife slugging him and whacking him with a toy guitar.

No report on whether or not he was wearing diapers.

Diaper Dave's Airport Follies

Last week's incident at Dulles Airport involving DC madam client and Louisiana Rethug Sen. David "Diaper Dave" Vitter is now being investigated by the Transportation Security Administration. To recap, Diaper Dave threw a tantrum when he missed boarding his flight to New Orleans, opened an alarmed gate to try to access the airplane, and ran off when airlines officials called security.

One comic noted that Diaper Dave must have been rushing to avoid a cancellation fee on prostitute services. The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee's spokesman said, "Sooner or later, Sen. Vitter should learn to control himself." But then, Diaper Dave wouldn't need diapers.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Young Love

There are reports in the media that Gov. Winky You Betcha's daughter, Bristol, has broken up with her baby daddy, snowbilly Levi Johnston. (Remember how the McSame campaign made a lot of noise about how they were getting married right away after Bristol's pregnancy was revealed?) Winky's family was obviously embarrassed several weeks ago when Johnston's mother was arrested on charges of selling Oxycontin (Rethug Dear Leader Limpballs' drug of choice). Quite a brood.

Can we expect a 6-part, made for TV series out of this? Maybe right before Winky announces her Presidential candidacy for the party of family values.

Bushville, USA

A growing number of "Bushvilles" are sprouting around the country (the image here is the one in Sacramento, California). There are others in Nevada, Florida, and coming to a community near you.

As you reflect on that, reflect on this: it's said that Wall Street only responds to two things -- fear and greed. Hmmm. That seems to be in tune with the Rethug ethos and philosophy of government. What a coincidence.

Some Stats for the Rethugs

It looks like the Rethug strategy of lining up behind Dear Leader Limpballs has been a smashing success! New polls show that Limpballs is regarded "very, very negatively" by 45% of the American public (with independent voters, the voters Rethugs need to win, it's a fatal 3-1 against Limpballs).

That's bad enough, but now Rethug National Committee chairman Michael "Tin Man" Steele opines that "bipartisanship is a fiction of politics." Wooo, that's the hip hop style, baby! "You be da man, Michael Steele!" as racist winger Michelle "I See Commies Everywhere" Bachman would say. Problem is, it doesn't go down with the general public. You know, the people that elections are won with.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Oy! Vot Dreck!

Wonkette uncovered this unintentionally hilarious video from Israeli arms developer, RAFAEL, that attempts to "celebrate" the existing military relationship between Israel and India (which is fine with us, btw). But the video features an Israeli schlemiel with bad teeth dancing with/trying to hit on some phony "Indian" women -- who seem to know jack shit about classic Indian dancing. And "dinga, dinga, dee"? WTF is that? Hindi for "sell me some rockets?" Don't think so.

When Will The Apologies Begin?

It's been roughly 48 hours since former Rethug House Speaker Newt "Poot" Gingrich criticized Rethug Party Dear Leader Pills Limpballs on "Meet the Press" for wanting President Obama to fail. "Irrational" is what Poot called the leader of his Party for wanting Obama to fail. He later went on to describe Pills as "an interesting radio personality." Ouch, that smarts!

Of course, this was after Pills went after Poot at the CPAC poo fest for wanting to modify some of the great "conservative" principles that have gotten us into the mess we're in. So far, Poot is standing his ground, but the dittohead army has been placed on high alert. Stay tuned.

(photo: Poot hears the advancing dittohead army)

Quote of the Day

"The Democratic response to the economic crisis has its problems, but, let's face it, the current Republican response is totally misguided. . .after a decade of profligacy, the Republicans have decided to demand a rigid fiscal straight jacket at the one moment in the past 70 years when it is completely inappropriate." -- Conservative columnist David Brooks in the New York Times.

Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Dumbass Headline of the Day

Courtesy CNN.com: "Is It Obama's Economy Yet?"

Answer: No, dumbasses. It took Dumbya and the Rethug Congress years to screw the economy up. It will take more than 47 days of the Obama Presidency to clean it up. But thanks for the thought.

Party of No

Watch this 30 second ad that Americans United for Change are running in a number of media markets. Rethuglican politicians have become a national joke. (Bonus points awarded because they used the French "Can Can" song as the background!)

Worth Noting

1. Frank Schaeffer takes the Rethuglicans to the woodshed and whips them good for their obstructionism and blind partisanship in a stinging Huffington Post article. Schaeffer, a former Rethug himself, was part of the religious right movement, which his evangelical parents helped to create, until he saw the damage it was doing to the country. He spares no words in describing the Rethug political establishment as treasonous and corrupt:

"You Republicans were the arsonists who burned down our national home. . .you do nothing constructive, just try to hinder the one person willing and able to fix the mess you created."
A good read on a Monday morning.

2. David Frum, a conservative former speechwriter for Dumbya, levels a barrage in Newsweek against the current Rethuglican Dear Leader, Pills Limpballs. Frum believes that the far right direction the current Rethuglican Party is heading in will result in the Party's marginalization. We can only hope.

Hackwhackers a la King

(Without apologies to Larry King)

Ever notice how Cokie Roberts has nothing original to say? She's the longest-running Villager on Sunday morning "news programs."

And George Steponaflagpinopolous? I think he sits next to George Will so he doesn't have to throw his softballs that far. Also, I think he likes to have his nose as close to Will's crack as possible.

Speaking of cracks, grilled cheese sandwiches give me gas.

Grilled cheese sandwiches made with pepper jack cheese give me molten gas.

I've got ten bucks that says Tin Man Steele will father a child by Missy McConnell this year. Any takers?

Mickey Rourke has cooties, I'm told.

A tip of my hat to my recently departed pal, Paul Harvey. He was Rush Limpballs before it was cool.

Can someone get me some of whatever it is Glenn Beck is taking these days? That's some powerful stuff!

CNBC is the Larry King of financial news networks. Great, meaty content (and that's just what's between the ears of Larry Kudlow, Rick Santelli and Jim Cramer!).

That just about wraps it up! Got that pepper jack grilled cheese ready, hon?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Some Unhealthy Talk

We hate to keep blogging about Rethuglican Party Dear Leader Rush "Pills" Limpballs, but. . .

The pill-popping demagogue said on his hate radio show yesterday that "before it's over, it'll be called the Ted Kennedy Memorial Health Care Bill," referring to Kennedy's malignant brain cancer. Careful, Pills, you don't look like the model of health and fitness yourself. In fact, you look like you're one pastrami sandwich away from "the big one." And more jumping around like you did at the CPAC poo fest won't peel those excess tons away.

(photo: Mr. Rethuglican)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Doom and Hilarity

In case you missed it, Stephen Colbert's hilarious "Doom Bunker" segment, an antidote to the unhinged Glenn Beck's idiotic "War Room" on (what else) Fux News.

A Wee Willie Vs. Pills Smackdown?

William "Wee Willie" Kristol, the neocon editor of the Weekly Standard, seems to be throwing down the gauntlet to Rethuglican Dear Leader Rush "Pills" Limpballs in an interview with "Fox and Friends." "Look, Americans wish a new President well. They hope his policies succeed, as they should," Wee Willie opined, in direct opposition to the orders of the Dear Leader that every Rethug should want Obama to fail. Shocking!!

How long will it take for Wee Willie to renounce his heresy, and beg Dear Leader Limpballs' forgiveness, but only after receiving the obligatory pie in the face? Only time will tell. Tick, tick, tick. . . .

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Jon Stewart Reams CNBC

In case you missed last night's "Daily Show," here's Huff Po's take, with video. Masterfully done, sir!

The more the Rethug pin-striped yakkers on CNBC and Fox Bidness channels try to derail the Obama economic agenda, the hotter the place in Hell will be for them to toast their weenies.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"Minority Leader Limbaugh"

(Hackwhackers continues to pile on Limpballs! And why not? He's such a soft, marshmallowy target.)

For a fine analysis of the phenomenon that is Rush "Pills" Limpballs, David Plouffe has a great broadside in today's WaPo. Indeed, as Plouffe says, by following Dear Leader Rush with his strategy of hoping for failure, the Rethugs "may find out what it means for a political party to hit rock bottom." (Aside: They haven't already??)

Department of Unintentional Humor

The WaPo reports that President Obama plans to name John Berry*, Director of the National Zoo, as the new Office of Personnel Management director. (OPM oversees Federal personnel policies and resources).

Don't feed the animals!
* John Berry actually has a distinguished record, including serving as Assistant Secretary of the Treasury. . .where he was a busy beaver.

So Sorry, Dear Leader

Those wags at the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee have the perfect solution for Rethug politicians who risk offending Dear Leader Limpballs: a flexible form letter of apology! Check it out.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Quote of the Day

"One thing we can all do is stop assuming that the way to beat [the Democrats] is with better policy ideas." -- Rethuglican Party leader Rush "Pills" Limpballs, pontificating to the wingnut weenies assembled last weekend in DC. Limpballs is determined to take the Rethuglican Party even further to the right, and on that extreme fringe, ideas don't matter, only thuggery.

BONUS: Best headline on the Tin Man's groveling to Limpballs, Wonkette's "Rush Limbaugh Has Balls Of Steele." BWAHAHAHAHA!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Rethug Throwdown: Tin Man Vs. Limpballs

There's dissention in the right-wing Rethug ranks today: Rethuglican National Committee chair Michael "Tin Man" Steele says that he's the head of the Rethuglican Party, and not Rush "Pills" Limpballs. Tin Man, speaking on D.L. Hughley's program, called Limpballs an "entertainer" and said the his hate radio program was "incendiary" and "ugly."

All riiight!! A Rethug Throwdown! In one corner, the official head of the GOP, a phony "Oreo" that will say anything and do anything to advance himself, and in the other corner, a pill-popping, pig-like demagogue whose hate radio show is the beacon for right-wing Rethugs everywhere. Here's hoping that the struggle will be very long and divisive.

UPDATE: Tin Man backed down and apologized to Limpballs, proving that D.L. Hughley was right in referring to Limpballs as the leader of the Rethuglican Party.

(photo: Limpballs/Palin 2012!)

Exit, The Dark Prince

The infamous mercenary outfit Blackwater is losing its founder and CEO. Erik "The Dark" Prince. Under The Dark Prince's "leadership", Blackwater became the symbol of mercenaries run amok in Iraq, with their trigger-happy yahoos shooting Iraqi women and children, including the infamous 2007 incident in Baghdad where 17 unarmed civilians were mowed down by Blackwater mercenaries. Several are now facing criminal charges in the U.S.

Although The Dark Prince was wealthy by inheritence before his Blackwater days and doesn't need a job, he could find employment protecting the Mexican drug cartels running rampant along the border. That would seem to be his cup of tea.

(photo: "Let's go kill us some Eye-rackies, boys!")

Mittens in 2012!

America's next Harold Stassen, Willard "Mitt/ Mutt/ Muff/ Mittens" Romney came out of this week's Crooks, Poltroons, Assholes and Crackpots (CPAC) meeting as the #1 choice for the Rethug nomination in 2012. Well, hold on there, wingnuts! You might want Wonkette's take on that first.