Twitter Now Officially Uncool

First it was Dancin' Dave Gregory, now we hear Larry King has a Twitter account. As has been noted no doubt before now, you can't spell "Twitter" without "twit."

(Photo: Larry King twitting, "I gotta remember to empty my colostomy bag.")

Hackwhackers a la King

(Again, without apologies to Larry King, and back by popular demand.)

John King here at CNN is all the time telling me what a great journalist he is. What do you think? I have no opinion myself except that, on a personal level, Dana Bash could've done a lot better. So could John King, for that matter.

Did you see Jon Stewart's smackdown of Jim Cramer Thursday night? I'm glad he gave Cramer what-for. Little MF cost me a couple of hundred g's by taking his advice and sticking with Bear Stearns.

And how about my "pal" Bernie Madoff? MF cost me almost a mil. Shyster putz!

You can't spell Twitter without the twit.

Did you know I get paid by the word?

I enjoy reading and hearing all the advice Republicans are giving Obama. My attitude is, they of all people would know how things got so f*cked up, and now they can help lead us out of the deep hole Obama has gotten us into in his administration - the last couple of months, I mean!

I'm told I suffered a severe head injury this morning. And I get paid by the word.

My favorite entertainer is Liza Minnelli. She'll be back on top some day. I bet a sawbuck on it with my wife. (I'd say Judy Garland was my favorite, but I think she's dead. If I'm wrong, give me a call on my private line, Judy.)

Good night from Hollywood!

(Not my best photo, but the sideburns are kick ass.)