Friday, January 30, 2009

Rethugs Pick Steele

Former Maryland Lt. Gov. Michael "Tin Man" Steele was elected by the Rethuglican National Committee to be its butler, er that is, chairman. Tin Man, one of 17 African American Rethugs, will undoubtedly attempt to sell Rethuglicanism to minorities, while proposing policies that would do them great harm. He was recently quoted as saying, "this notion that I'm a moderate is slightly overblown, and quite frankly a lie."

Tin Man also happens to be the ex-brother-in-law of Mike Tyson (pictured), who was seen biting the ears of several RNC members before the vote.

"Irrelevant to the Debate"

The unanimous Rethug vote against the economic recovery package has spawned a spate (!) of articles reflecting on their clueless ignorance about how the debate has shifted away from where it was 30 years ago. House Minority Leader John "Man Tan" Boehner underscored their lack of engagement by cajoling fellow Rethugs to vote against the House bill even before Obama came to meet with them on Tuesday.

Why are the Rethugs, led by Man Tan, irrelevant to the economic recovery debate? Check out these pieces: BarbinMD writes in the Daily Kos; Gene Robinson in the WaPo; and Michael Hirsch in Newsweek.

The common thread? Hirsch best sums it up by saying the Rethugs are only concerned about being true to their ancient bromides: cut taxes, cut government, every man for himself! As Hirsch says, Rethugs are "rooting around in their closets for their Barry [Goldwater] pins."

(Photo: Man of the people "Man Tan" Boehner hooks it far right)

Missy McConnell's Song Of Woe

Senate Minority Leader Mitch "Missy" McConnell addressed the Rethuglican National Committee yesterday, saying that the party is in danger of becoming marginalized as a "regional party." In danger of? Missy, you're already there. Your party represents the Old Confederacy and some states stretching from Idaho to Nebraska, sparsely populated with paranoid militia members. The demographics over the last 6 years are shifting the Democrats' way: youth vote, Latino vote, college-educated vote, suburban vote, all trending Democratic.

When the Rethugs want to dictate how you conduct your most personal activities, while letting corporate pirates run amok and plunder your retirement funds, when they want to write the prayers for your kids to say in public school, while their leaders spew hate against minorities and immigrants over "talk" radio. . . .well, you've got more than image problems. And you need to be marginalized.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Buh Bye, Blago

It's been real. Even if you haven't been. As Blago might say, the Governorship of Illinois is a f---ing valuable thing, you just don't give it away for nothing.

The Illinois State Senate votes 59 - 0 to remove Gov. Let's Make A Deal from office, effective immediately.

Picture Of The Week

A statue honoring the shoe-thrower at Dumbya's Baghdad press conference last month was unveiled in Tikrit, Iraq -- Saddam Hussein's home city. They love them some Dumbya in Iraq, don't they? And how about the "thumbs up" gesture of the person in the picture.


UPDATE: The sculpture is apparently at an orphanage. Wow. Gives it a whole different perspective.

(photo: Saleh/Getty; story in the NY Daily News)

An Armey Of None

We saw former Rethug Congressman Dick "What A Dick" Armey on Tweety's "Hardball" show last night, and were only mildly surprised to see What A Dick toss a few insulting words to co-panelist Joan Walsh of Salon.

"I'm so glad that you could never be my wife because I surely wouldn't have to listen to that prattle from you every day," What A Dick said after Walsh blasted his Rethug colleagues for wrecking the economy with their policies. Walsh shot back, "Well, wow, that makes two of us sir." Indeed. What A Dick couldn't get an inflatable doll to date him.

What A Dick was called out in the next segment by New York Times columnist Bob Herbert, who said What A Dick should apologize to Walsh. Tweety, who's clueless about appropriate behavior toward women, belatedly agreed that What A Dick's comments were "overboard," which is where What A Dick should be tossed.

(photo: What A Dick searching for the right phrase)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Driving a Wedge

Democrats have been given an opening the size of Rush "Pills" Limbaugh's mouth, which is wide indeed. The blogs are full of commentary today (sorry my link capacity is down) about Congressional Rethugs trying to distance themselves from Pills' various pronouncements that he wants the President to fail - without, of course, offending the Fat One. Dems should keep driving that wedge... but we have our doubts. If you're looking for any Rethug to ever put Fat One in his place, you have a looooong wait ahead. He's "Mr. Conservative" to this crowd.

Meanwhile, the Democrats would be well advised to point out at every opportunity that the only difference between the Congressional Rethugs and loyal Rethug water-carrier Limpballs is that they both want the President to fail, only Limpballs is the only one coming right out with it. How un-American!

(Photo: Limpballs: still suckin')

Rethugs Abandon A Sunken Ship

Displaying great timing, the Rethuglican National Committee is just now getting around to distancing itself from the former Preznit. The RNC's current chairman, Mike "Donut" Duncan was a loyal Bushie when it was still OK in Rethug circles. Now, many Rethug party bigwigs want him out, along with the Bushie scent. However, showing their impeccable political sense, these Rethugs want to steer their wounded party even further to the far right. They didn't think Dumbya was "conservative" enough. Yeah, that's the ticket to your future success.

They're floating a resolution that calls upon the RNC to oppose any further "bailouts" of the economy (take that, you middle class whiners!), and want to oppose what they call "President-elect Obama's public works program." You read that right: they're referring to the President as "President-elect." What, he wasn't sworn in enough times for you clowns?

photo: "To the [glub glub] lifeboats [glub] men! [glub glub glub]"

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Our Broken Media, Cont'd.

With so much at stake for the economy in the upcoming stimulus package, one would think that the mainstream media would want to get their facts right. One would think. Instead, we're seeing them revert to their usual lazy form, taking pieces out of context and following the talking points provided to them by Drudge, Fux News, and the rest of the Rethug media apparatus. A case in point: the recent chatter about how it would take years for President Obama's stimulus package's infrastructure funding to be spent, ostensibly based on a "report" by the Congressional Budget Office (CBO).

The problem is, there was no such "report," according to the CBO. What the mainstream media ran with was a computer run of a portion of an earlier version of the package, and isn't representative of the Administration's current proposal. OMB Director Peter Orszag says 75% of the stimulus funding will be spent over the next 18 months.

Quote of the Day

"I had a whole bunch of thoughts -- of course, my children and my wife. And then I thought about Mandela, Dr. King, Gandhi and tried to put some perspective in all of this." Impeached Illinois Governor Rod "Let's Make A Deal" Blagojevich, who must be running out of dramatic parallels for his case. Last week, it was Pearl Harbor. Then, it was the movie roles of Jimmy Stewart and Gary Cooper, and then a cowboy about to be strung up without a fair trial. LMAD, incidentally, skipped the first day of his trial in the Illinois State Senate, choosing the public relations route instead.

LMAD also dropped the hint that he was considering Oprah for Obama's vacant Senate seat, before appointing perpetual office-seeker Roland Burris. You think he's playing for the jury in his criminal trial? Not Mahatma Rod!

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Tedious Norm Coleman

With the swearing-in of Kirsten Gillibrand as the new Senator from New York, Minnesota will be the only state represented by one Senator. That's because former Sen. Norm "Sore Loser" Coleman is dragging the process out for as long as possible, despite a recount that he lost by 225 votes to former Saturday Night Live comedian Al Franken. His lawyer predicts a "very, very tedious proceeding" beginning with today's lawsuit by Sore Loser. Not surprisingly, he's also enlisted the infamous Rethug lawyer Ben "Screw Democracy" Ginsberg, who was one of the malefactors in the Bush v. Gore Florida recount farce; if you can't win fairly, cheat and steal.

(photo: Norm in better times)

Quote of the Week - Hoosier Mama Edition

"It is very ironic...We've never really mattered before when it comes to politics and the election. And this year we did...What a wonderful year for Indiana. Go, Hoosiers!"

New Miss America Katie Stam, asked by Newsweek blogger Tammy Haddad to comment on any connection between Indiana's first Miss America and Obama carrying the normally Republican swing state. (h/t to WaPo's The Reliable Source)

"Cheap Shots" and "Bad Faith Economics"

As usual, our favorite Nobel laureate Paul Krugman hits the Rethug nail on its head. In this morning's column, Krugman shows us how the Rethugs are trying desperately to discredit the recovery plan through "cheap shots" and "bad faith economics," and why (hint: think 21st century FDR).

Also on the NT Times op/ed front this morning, Wee Willie Kristol acknowledges the "end of a conservative era" while we acknowledge that in italic script under his last sentence is written "This is William Kristol's last column." So let's cheer the end of a Kristol era as well (Yaaaay!), although it will mean the Times will have to lay off all the fact-checkers they had to employ to clean up after Wee Willie's columns every Monday.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Nuts Weren't Just In The Salad

Think Progress has an interesting recap of the "benefits" accruing to President Obama from dining and schmoozing with a gaggle of wingnut pundits a while back. As we reported and speculated earlier, having a "dialog" with hard-core reactionaries like Wee Willie Kristol and Kraphammer wasn't likely to gain Obama more slack, only flack. Well, no time has been wasted by these malefactors in savaging Obama's economic recovery package, to no serious observer's surprise.

It's hard to be "post-partisan" when the other side is hammering you, isn't it?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Rethug Donors Taken To The Dry Cleaners

The Rethuglican National Committee is acknowledging that Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha's $180,000 designer wardrobe is still sitting in trash bags at the RNC, allegedly waiting to be inventoried and donated to "charity." Donors are furious that their money was spent on expensive duds for the Governor and her snowbilly brood, instead of on lying, Swift Boat-style campaign ads.

Suck it up, Rethugs, there are better days ahead. Repeat after us: Palin/Wurzelbacher 2012!

USS Blago Hit In Surprise Attack!!

In an interview with impeached Illinois Governor Rod "Let's Make A Deal" Blagojevich, the hairy Gov. claimed that, "December 9 to my family, to us, to me is what Pearl Harbor Day was to the United States." This metaphor would work if LMAD was, 1. honorable, 2. an actual naval vessel, or 3. surprised by his arrest after months of a corruption investigation where he almost dared the Feds to tap his phone.

Again, growing all that hair on his head is robbing his brain of nutrients.

(photo: The USS Blago hauling garbage before the dastardly attack)

Replacement for Sen. Clinton?

It looks like others, in addition to Hackwhackers, were rooting for Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand for appointment to the vacant NY Senate seat. A number of sources are reporting that Gov. Paterson will make the announcement later today. He's wise to pick an upstater, a veteran legislator, and a proven vote-getter for the job. It helps, too, that he's replacing a woman with a woman.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Department of Unintended Irony

"We are being told that we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to bend over, grab the ankles. . ." -- Rush "Pills" Limpballs, commenting on President Obama on Manatee Hannity's poo fest, not that Limpballs could actually grab his ankles.

The boil on his fat ass succeeded in getting him out of service during Vietnam. Do you suppose he keeps re-living his Selective Service physical for jollies?

She's In, She's Out, She's In, She's Out. . .

Confusion over Caroline Kennedy's position regarding the vacant Senate seat from New York has apparently (!!) ended. . . we think. Kennedy released a statement saying that she was withdrawing her name from consideration. NY Governor Paterson will be making his selection soon, and a lot of the betting is on Andrew Cuomo, son of former Governor Mario Cuomo, and a bit of a self-centered dick from what we hear.

We're rooting for upstate New York Congresswoman Kirsten Gillibrand, who has excellent credentials and balances the New York City-centered Sen. Chuck Schumer.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Mounties Get Their Man

Royal Canadian Mounted Police salute as President Obama's motorcade rolls by the Canadian Embassy on Pennsylvania avenue after his swearing-in.

To Everything There Is A Season

As long as we're using musical symbolism for the passage to the Obama era, here's a favorite that also speaks to the times. Kick it!!

Howie Do It

Poor Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz, WaPo and CNN media "critic." Seems Howie (married to a Rethug political consultant, a fact he never fails to omit) is all a-tizzy that the "librul" media is getting too ga-ga over Obama. In a recent article, snatched from RNC talking points (or perhaps Grover Norquist's - wait, same thing), Howie "Get That Job?" asks:

"At what point does the recognition of Obama's gifts and this juncture in history spill over into partisan adulation?"

(Our reply would be: Where did you learn to write such graceful prose, at an RNC workshop for hack "reporters"?) We're sure Howie will keep his finger on the pulse of the media and report every instance of "partisan" behavior, seeing as how he already has an occasional "Obama Adulation Watch" feature in his rat's ass column. Keep up the good work, Howie! Say hi to your wife!

(Photo: Howie's world turned upside down after the election)

Random Thought

This would have been a great week to be an autograph collector in DC:

Bruce Springsteen, U2, Beyonce, Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, Mariah Carey, Dustin Hoffman, Muhammad Ali, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Affleck, Jessica Alba, Oprah, Puff Diddly Doodly Dee, Heather Graham, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, Robert DiNiro, Michael J. Fox, Ed Harris, Dionne Warwick, Aretha Franklin, John Cusack, J-Lo and Marc Anthony, Joan Baez, Queen Latifah, Sting, Stevie Wonder, Bill Murray, Mary J. Blige, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, Smokey Robinson, Sheryl Crow, John Mellencamp, Alicia Keys, Jonas Brothers (heh heh), Miley Cyrus (another heh heh), Faith Hill, Garth Brooks, Jon Bon Jovi, Will Smith, Ann Hathaway, James Taylor, Sharon Stone and Fred Flintstone (just checking if you're paying attention), Steven Spielberg, Tiger Woods, Maroon 5, Yo Yo (Yo Ma Ma) Ma, Itzhak Perlman, and more than we have the energy or desire to list.

The Best Of The Inauguration

The best crowd. Just under 2 million people. No arrests, no fights.

The best moment: After flubbing the oath, Chief Justice Roberts saying, "Congratulations, Mr. President."

The best laugh: Rev. Joseph Lowrey with his rhyming, "when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead man. . ." Glad he didn't get around to Eskimos, Sri Lankans and Croats.

The best review: Little Sasha Obama giving her father a thumbs up after his speech.

The best inaugural ball: The Commander in Chief's ball, where Obama praised the men and women in uniform, and told them his proudest duty would be as their commander in chief. Then, Obama and Michelle danced with two enlisted attendees.

The best cringeworthy moment: The crowd singing "Hey Hey Hey Good Bye" as Bushie's helicopter flew overhead was naughty and awkward in the happy, mellow aura of the inauguration.

The best moment for wingnut heads to explode: "I, Barack Hussein Obama. . ."

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The 44th President of the United States

We'll collect our thoughts and blog more tomorrow. We just want to savor the moment and enjoy the parade today. The crowd stretched down the mall from the Capitol to beyond the Washington Monument -- 16 blocks or more -- and was estimated at nearly 2 million very happy people.

In the meantime, enjoy the new White House web page.

The Time Has Come

Inauguration Day with the Chambers Brothers.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Just Desserts?

In what is certainly a fitting postscript to the end of the latest Rethug era, the WaPo has a story about the newly unemployed dead-enders in the Bush Assministration (how we'll miss that term!). The jobless Rethugs are now scrambling for jobs that don't exist, in a blighted economy that their Preznit and party helped bring about. Sweeet! As one consultant put it, "They are loyalists who stayed the course and are not sure what they're going to do."

Well, for starters let them send out resumes and stand in the unemployment line like the millions of Americans that they helped put out of work thanks to their laissez-faire, let the market run wild, greed is good, regulation is bad philosophy. Remember right wing demi-god Ronnie Raygun's pronouncement at the beginning of the conservative restoration?

"Government isn't the solution; it's the problem."

Let them reflect on that as they collect their unemployment checks from "the problem."

Cards and "Stillers" Going To The Big Dance

Congratulations to fans of the Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers, who are going to the 43rd Super Bowl on Feb. 1. The Cardinals last won the NFL championship in 1947, as the Chicago Cardinals. The "Stillers" -- as our friends from Pennsylvania call them -- won Super Bowl XL in 2006. Both teams' roots go back to the beginning of professional football, so we can say both teams are "sentimental favorites."


Yesterday's free concert at the Lincoln Memorial drew roughly 500,000, who heard a range of major artists from U2, Stevie Wonder and Bruce Springsteen, to Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Jon Bon Jovi and Garth Brooks. Springsteen opened the concert with "The Rising." Several pundits referred to the celebration as "Obama-stock" in comparison to the Woodstock Music Festival. Speakers included Tom Hanks, Tiger Woods and Denzel Washington. President-elect Obama spoke later, saying,

"Yours are the voices I will take with me every day I walk into that Oval Office -- the voices of men and women who have different stories but hold common hopes."

In somber counterpoints to the celebrations, Obama earlier placed a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and this morning visited wounded troops at Walter Reed Medical Center. Everything that he needs to be doing, he is doing, and doing it with class and stature.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

"Ten Lessons"

Well, we have less than 48 hours to kick around Dumbya. So here goes another kick or ten.

If you're looking for a powerful wrap-up of the Bush "legacy," check out this Bob Woodward piece from today's WaPo, "What He Can Learn From Him" (the "he" being Obama, the "him" being Dumbya). These are ten lessons that provide a most unflattering portrait (i.e., honest) of Bush and his style of "management." In short, if there was something that could have been handled the wrong way, that was the way Dumbya handled it, much to our Nation's detriment; the overall lesson for Obama being, if Dumbya did it this way, do it the opposite way and you'll be fine!

That this incompetent was President of the United States for eight years is appalling. Now we have a chance, as a Nation, to redeem ourselves, though we can never wipe the blight of the past eight years from the history books.

Save The Last Dance For McCranky

Word has leaked out that Cindy McCain was eager to sign up for the next season of "Dancing With The Stars" but that her hubby, Sen. John McCranky, put a stop to it. So it was OK for McCranky to embarrass her at last year's Sturgis, SD biker/beer/buffalo chip fest by suggesting she enter the "beauty" contest, but not OK for her to dance on TV. We don't remember him thanking her in his concession speech, either.

(photo: Swingin' Cindy on the cover of Harper's Bazaar)

Saturday, January 17, 2009


With less than 3 days left, we'll miss Preznit Chimpy's seriousness and concern for Americans, as demonstrated in this clip. Bend over, Chimpy. . . now watch this kick!

Friday, January 16, 2009

On Inauguration Day, Do You Know Where The Bigots Will Be?

They'll be shaking their little fists, screaming "white power" at each other, as they contemplate at least 4 years of the first African-American president. Maybe "contemplate" isn't the right word for what these sad clowns do, having the IQ of a house plant and the number of teeth to match.

U.S. law enforcement has noticed an uptick in the communications among these mental deficients in the weeks and days following Obama's election. They say they're ready for any problem that might arise from the racist right. Let's hope and pray that they're right, and that in the future, every one of these rejects end up in the environment they were born for: prison.

(photo: Time to take out the laundry)

Planet Kraphammer

Dead-ender wingnut and Bush watercarrier Charles "Kraphammer" Krauthammer is in the first stage of grief over the Rethug election catastrophe: denial. (The next stage of grief is anger, so look for some nasty Kraphammer pieces ahead.) But, he's still working for the rehabilitation of Dumbya even before the boob leaves office! Witness his astounding column asserting that Obama is helping that Bush revisionism! Kraphammer, who is Bush's wingnut pundit doppelganger in his absolute refusal to see the wreckage of the last 8 years, was one of the right-wingers Obama dined with Tuesday night.

If this column is the upshot of that seance, Obama would do well to remember the old adage: when you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

(Image: Kraphammer arrives at "Quill" Will's dinner party.)

Picture Of The Day

"Perhaps as a sign of the eagerness for a new era, a waxed figure of President Bush with his packed bags was placed on the sidewalk outside Madame Tussaud's wax museum in Amsterdam on Thursday." [italics added]

Let's hope for some hot sunny days in Amsterdam.

(photo: Evert Elzinga, Associated Press)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

By Hook Or By Crook

By crook, in this case. Roland Burris, appointed by impeached Illinois Gov. Rod "Let's Make A Deal" Blagojevich to fill Obama's Senate seat, was sworn in today by (President) Dead-eye Dick Cheney. Burris had previously lost 4 statewide elections in Illinois, and was retired from politics when Illinois' shady governor decided to play games with the vacant seat. The egotistical Burris finally has his golden ring, however tarnished, but he'll be hard pressed to be returned to the Senate in the 2010 elections. At least he can have "U.S. Senator" chiseled on his grandiose tomb now.

A Preview Of Dumbya's Farewell Address

Dumbya's scheduled to give his farewell address tonight, starting a 8 o'clock Eastern time. Can't wait. Here's our guess at what he'll say:

1. We're safe from "terrists", aren't we?

2. Who's this bin Laden guy?

3. The bad economy started on Clinton's watch.

4. All in all, I've done a heckuva job.

Buh-bye, Dumbya, and dream on.

And The Pie Was Delicious

President-elect Obama's dinner last Tuesday night with right-wing pundits at George "Quill" Will's house was an off-the-record event. Or so we thought. Along comes William "Wee Willie" Kristol to spill the, um, caviar. He was on the dreadful "Fux and Fiends" show, chortling about how the wingers had a dinner with Obama, while progressive pundits had a meeting in Obama's conference room the next morning, no food served. "They had some coffee from the machine in the office," Wee Willie observed, smirking.

True, Wee Willie. But looking at it another way, the wingers had to offer dinner to entice Obama to meet with them, while the liberal pundits were welcomed without bearing "gifts." Looking at the future, we think that the progressive media will be attending a lot more White House functions than Wee Willie and gang.

(photo: Wee Willie gets served dessert)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

At "Human Events," They Know Claptrap

Apparently the wingnuts over at Human Events are hard-up for... well, any magazine/ web site that has (M)ann Coulter as a columnist is by definition hard-up. Seems a little crackpot named Evan "C" Gahr has done some investigative journalizing and found some incriminating evidence of Obama's secret socialist leanings in, uh, a column Obama wrote 25 years ago while a student at Columbia University! "C" Gahr definitively proved that Obama's writings were "a wholesale endorsement of all sorts of leftist claptrap fashionable at the time." I'd send you over to the Human Events web site to read more of this Pulitzer-quality investigating, but I don't want to give them the bidness.

We should next expect Human Events to treat us to an expose of Obama's kiddygarden colorings for signs of mooslim tendencies and perhaps an old grade school Valentine card to Megan O'Shaunessy to prove he was into race-mixin'!

Yep, them folks sure know claptrap when they see it!

Tennessee Taliban Foiled

Tennessee wingnut Rethuglicans are a little out of practice in running the Tennessee General Assembly, which they took control of narrowly for the first time in over 40 years. Wonkette has the hilarious story about how the wingnuts were defeated in electing a Speaker of their choice, despite holding a 50 to 49 majority. The strategy by the Dems was to unanimously back a moderate Rethug -- despised by the party's Taliban wing -- who then voted for himself for the majority vote. The wingut Rethugs were left speechless and sputtering. "Hot dayum, Ernest! We wuz tricked! Where's mah squirrel gun?"


photo: Ernest's gonna git him sum Demmycrats

A Slimy One Exposed

One of the more sinister scandals of the Bushit Assministration was the politicization of the Justice Department, with the U.S. attorneys' scandal at the top of the list. A smaller fish, but quite sinister nonetheless, was caught in an investigation by the Justice Department's Inspector General. Brad "Slimy" Schlozman was a Bushit appointee in Justice's Civil Rights Division. The LA Times reports on Slimy's activities at Justice, which included reassigning career civil service lawyers who weren't politically far-right enough and hiring only those who met his extreme views. Slimy's views of the career lawyers that worked for him is also charming. He saw "commies" and "libs" around him trying to sabotage Bushit's New Order, paranoid jackass that he seems to be. Slimy is now practicing "law" in Kansas, but may have his state bar membership revoked as a result of the IG's report. He also reportedly misled the Senate Judiciary committee in 2007 which was looking into the firing of U.S. attorneys, so perhaps Obama's new U.S. attorney for DC will look into prosecuting Slimy. We can only hope.

photo: Slimy Schlozman teaching newly-hired lawyers at Justice the proper salute.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Denial Isn't Just A River In Egypt

It's taken us almost a full day to recover from the vertigo effect Preznit Chimpy's last press conference had on us. Chimpy, spinning wildly, was doing his best to defend his sorry record on the domestic front (economy, Katrina) and foreign front (Iraq, relations with the international community). He was alternately defiant, petulant, whining, delusional, and pathetic. He wants his greatest achievement to be remembered as defending the U.S. after 9/11, when in fact one of his greatest failures was ignoring intelligence that bin Laden was planning to launch attacks using airliners at least a month before 9/11 -- the infamous "you've covered your ass" briefing given to him in August 2001.

He wants to be known as the great Decider, making the tough decisions. The decisions were tough, yes, but he consisently made the wrong ones, usually after ignoring facts in front of him, or worse, making "the facts" up. The country has paid dearly for his arrogance and stubborn refusal to admit errors and to learn from them.

UPDATE 1: Here's the opinion of a psychiatrist about why Chimpy is the way he is.

UPDATE 2: From the WaPo, Dana Milbank snarks:

"By the time he finished, it was hard to imagine why only 23 percent of Americans are able to see the Bush years for the unqualified success that they are. . .Further complicating his last-minute legacy rehabilitation: nobody seems to be listening. The White House had high expectations for yesterday's final, historic news conference. . .But when the appointed hour of 9:15 a.m. arrived, the last two rows in the seven-row briefing room were empty, and a press aide told White House interns to fill those seats."

Monday, January 12, 2009

Madoff Like a Bandit

Judge Ronald Ellis today refused to jail ponzi aficionado and capitalist buccaneer Bernie "With Your Money I" Madoff today, after prosecutors argued that he should be jailed for violating the terms of his bail. It seems Bernie tried to send jewelry and write checks to family members in an attempt to "hide" assets from his many outraged, and suddenly poor, clients/creditors. To which we can only say: "Jail the Judge!"

(Photo: Buccaneer Bernie)

Cheryl Holdridge, R.I.P.

Permit this Hackwhacker a little nostalgic moment. One of the original Mouseketeers, Cheryl Holdridge, died January 6 at age 64 (!) after a long battle with lung cancer. Cheryl and fellow Mousketeer (and later bad girl) Darlene Gillespie were the cause of certain ... "stirrings" in my pre-pubescent life (had I been a little older, I could've said they were the only Mouseketeers to make me moist. Annette Funicello? Fuggettaboutit!) After leaving the Mouseketeers, she apparently had a successful and, by all accounts, mostly happy life, and was well thought of by her friends and fans.

The Bushes: Job-Killing Machines

Neil Irwin and Dan Eggen report in today's WaPo that Dumbya not only has presided over the weakest 8-year span for the U.S. economy in decades, but that as a father-son team the Bushes have been the most effective job-killers in recent American history. Here's the picture for Dumbya's legacy book:

annualized job growth
: 0.3%, lowest since before the Truman administration, when BLS started keeping records; second lowest was under Poppy Bush's administration (0.6%);

gross domestic product: 1.4%, slowest growth since the Truman administration; Poppy Bush's was 1.9% (compared to 3.6% under Clinton);

incomes: 1.3%, slowest growth since the Eisenhower administration (also 1.3%), except for Poppy Bush's administration (0.1%).

While on Fux News Sunday, Dumbya waxed all philosophamacal about his glorious contributions and how Rethugs should be "compassionate." Fine words from this job-killer (no compassion there), who, as E.J. Dionne points out today, compassionately vetoed the expansion the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP). We won't go into the thousands of lives needlessly lost in Dumbya's war of choice in Iraq.

(Photo: Dumb and Dumbya)


Fux News rockhead "Manatee" Hannity goes solo tonight, having shed the ugly 125 pounds that was token "librul" Alan Colmes. The show, ingeniously named "Hannity," will feature an interview with... Preznit Dumbya! (Dumbya's been the most visible personality on Fux in recent days, with every wingnut host clamoring to interview their hero.) Manatee's show will also have a "panel discussion," which tonight features Rep. Michelle "I See Communists in Congress!" Bachman (Rethug-Loonville), Rev. Al Sharpton, and Meat Loaf (!) as the conservative, liberal and "X-factor" panelists respectively (we're guessing Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Ted Nugent weren't available to represent the "liberal" and "X-factor" points of view).

(Photo: A little less meat loaf, Mr. Manatee!)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Winky You Betcha Revisionism

John Cole has the ultimate take on the risible revisionism taking place among Gov. Winky You Betcha and her coterie. God, please let the Rethugs nominate this cretin in 2012!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Hell Has A New Resident

In 1963 in Baltimore, a wealthy young white thug named William Zantzinger got roaringly drunk, hit several workers at the Emerson Hotel before hitting barmaid Hattie Carroll with his cane several times, while uttering vile racial epithets. The next day, Hattie Carroll died of a stroke brought on by the beating. Zantzinger, the son of a wealthy family, got off with a six-month jail sentence and a fine.

Bob Dylan's song, "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll" made Zantzinger infamous, and was one of his most wrenching civil rights ballads. Listening to it will infuriate you.

Zantzinger died at the age of 69 several days ago, as the New York Times obit reports. He never expressed remorse, so may his gravesite become a urinal for generations to come.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Back For More

Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha keeps popping up in the news, and keeps getting the Whack-A-Mole treatment as a result. In an interview with a far-right fan boy, the Wasilla Wingnut blamed the (surprise!) media for her problems during the Presidential campaign. Accusing the press of ideologocal "hypocrisy," Winky claimed that if she had run on what she called the "Democrat" ticket, "I think they would have loved me as a candidate. . .You would have seen an absolutely differenct and much prettier profile of Sarah Palin and the Palin family and my administration."

No, Winky it was your almost total ignorance of basic issues, fumbling responses to simple questions, lack of self awareness, diva behavior, and general political wingnuttiness that sank you (and the McSame campaign). Sorry, Winky, you can't blame everything that went bad on everyone else. Time to take responsibility, and get a clue.

Taps For Larry

Former Idaho Rethug Sen. Larry "I'm Not Gay" Craig has dropped any further appeals of his arrest for disorderly conduct stemming from an undercover sting in a Minneapolis airport bathroom. Prior to his 2007 arrest, stories persisted for years about Craig's soliciting sex in bookstores, Washington's Union Station, and other places.

What's in Craig's future (in addition to a messy divorce and a pair of leather chaps)? He plans to form a consulting company. Maybe he could team up with Mark Foley and Ted Haggard to provide advice to public figures in the closet about how to say "I'm not gay" with a straight (heh heh) face.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Penny For Their Thoughts

While we're on the subject of rear ends, yesterday's lunch hosted by Preznit Dumbya resulted in a picture of the past, current, and future presidents. Through the miracle of science, we were able to read their thoughts as this picture was being taken:

(left to right)
"Poppy" Bush: (Who are these guys and what are they doing in my office?)

Obama: (Keep smiling, this will be over soon)

Dumbya: (Ah don't wanna git too close to Clinton; he might have some of them bodily fluids on him)

Clinton: (To think, 13 years ago, behind that door over there. . .)

Carter: (What's with these guys, I bathed last week)


We've been holding off on covering this mishap at Vail, CO for a few days, but the little devil on our shoulder said it would be OK. The guy, who was not hurt, has yet to be identified, but we're hoping it was a hedge fund manager.

You Have Work To Do Here, "Joe"

It looks like the right-wing Pajamas Media kids have a new "war" correspondent: none other than Joe (really Sam) the Plumber (not a plumber). He's being sent over to Israel for 10 days to interview average Israelis about the continuing fighting in that region.

So, he's not going to Gaza, where the fighting actually is (since correspondents aren't being allowed in at present), and he'll most likely be parked in an outdoor cafe in Tel Aviv or on the beach at Haifa with a microphone interviewing some hapless Israelis who couldn't avoid him in time. Good to know that the 101st Fighting Keyboarders at Pajamas Media are serious about this conflict. A pretend plumber, pretending to be a "war" correspondent. Maybe he'll come back with a real tan on that empty bald head of his.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Levi Johnston, Gov. Winky You Betcha's (possible) future son-in-law and daughter Bristol's baby daddy, quit his job as an apprentice electrician, after it was disclosed that he failed to meet the requirement of being a high school graduate. The Anchorage Daily News -- which has been fearless in exposing Winky's fibs and hypocrisy -- is questioning whether the Governor pulled some strings to get the father of her grandchild a job, despite his lack of qualifications. Winky said the paper's was taking a "political potshot" (and she's an expert at political potshots), but after her ethics problems in Alaska, would it really surprise anyone if she had pulled some strings?

Bonus: Rising Hegemon had the best headline on the topic: "Thank Goodness He Can Fall Back On The Family Pharmaceutical Business"

Now They Object?

When news leaked of Leon Panetta's nomination as the new CIA Director, Dem Sens. Diane Feinstein and Jay Rockefeller tried to rain on Panetta's parade. Feinstein said she was surprised by the nomination, and that she was expecting an "intellegence professional" to be selected. Rockefeller claimed to be "puzzled" by the choice. My my, aren't we touchy!

It's small wonder that these two would be uncomfortable about having someone like Panetta at CIA, who is on record as opposing Dumbya's discredited policies on wiretapping and torture. Think Progress shows that DiFi and Jello Jay repeatedly supported Dumbya's appointments as well as his questionable or illegal policies with nary a peep, and aren't looking forward to an accounting for their roles in those policies.

Not A Good Time For Dynasties

Former Florida Governor Jeb "He's Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" Bush won't be running for the Senate in 2010 after all. "HAHHMB" was Papa Bushit's first choice to carry the family banner in the 2000 Presidential race, but stumbled in a Florida election and had to defer to his incompetent, arrogant older brother, Dumbya. Recently, Papa Bushit said that he'd like to see HAHHMB be President someday, but, um, they know how well his brother did, so maybe they better keep that on the down low for now.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Franken Declared Winner

Al Franken, former Saturday Night Live regular and host of a radio show on Air America, has been declared the winner of the recount in the Minnesota Senate election by a margin of 225 votes over Norm "Sore Loser" Coleman, who is contesting the certification. Sore Loser will drag this out until as long as he can, before he slips into oblivion.

A bonus outcome of Franken's victory will be wingnut heads exploding.

Picture of the Week

Sasha Obama peers out the window of a Secret Service vehicle, on her way to her first day at Sidwell Friends School with her older sister Malia. So cute.

(photo: Karen Bleier/AFP-Getty Images)

She's Baaaaack

Crazy eyes staring, Adam's apple twitching, anorexic frame repulsing, and jaw apparently healed, (M)Ann Coulter is baaaack with a new far-right screed on everything "librul" including personal attacks on Michelle Obama. Too bad that having her jaw wired shut didn't keep her from making noise in some way.

Her act pretty much jumped the shark a couple of years ago when she slandered 9-11 widows and Elizabeth Edwards. Even a lot of wingnuts were reluctant to be seen with her, much less defend her slimy utterances. We'll see how far her book publicity tour goes this time, and there will always be loons to buy her crap. But we're betting that she's already entered the twilight of her "career."

(photo: OK, Halloween's over, you're scaring the kids)

Your Tax Dollars At Work

After spending years in construction and over $700 million, the U.S. embassy in Baghdad has opened. $700 million. What on earth could have made the embassy cost so much? Sitting on 104 acres, the embassy is actually made up of 21 buildings, including 6 apartment buildings, a mini mall, a school, swimming pools, barracks, warehouses, and other facilities. An embassy worker could spend his entire tour of duty inside the compound without mixing with the general Iraqi population -- which was probably the idea in the first place. No mention of whether the facility included a shoe store.

After this, we don't want to hear any wingnuts complaining about the "cost" of universal health insurance for Americans.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Richardson Exits

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson has withdrawn his name as nominee for Commerce Secretary in light of a developing scandal over campaign contributions from a California company that later got a hefty contract with the State of New Mexico. Lessee... first we had Gov. Spitzer, then Blago, now Richardson. The Dems are wasting no time in self-destructing.

The "Dean" Waxes Nostalgic

WaPo gasbag and "dean" of Washington political reporters David Broder wistfully mourns the exit of some of his Republican lunch pals in his column today, "Missing a Few Sages." Broder, who is missing a few pages, will clearly have to find some other meal tickets who will provide him a nourishing lunch, a cocktail or three, and a few "tips" for future columns. It's not so much that we quibble with his companions (Sens. Warner and Hagel, in particular, are honorable men). It's the insider whoring we object to.

We're still eagerly awaiting the day when he leaves town permanently to sit on Turdblossom's porch in Texas and reminisce about the good ol' bipartisan days when the Rethugs were in charge.

How did we forget this doofus in our Hackwhackers awards?!

(Image: Broder wafting above the partisan fray)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Third Annual Hackwhackers Awards!!

Without further delay, here's what you've been clamoring for: The Third Annual Hackwhackers Awards!!

Don't Call Us, We Won't Call You Award
- To the "Party Unity My Ass" (PUMA) vaginal warriors for being willing to see John McClueless elected in order to assuage their sense of frustrated entitlement over Hillary Clinton's failed campaign. All twelve of you are now eligible to have your numb skulls liposuctioned.

Now You Get It Award
- To former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan, whose tenure included the unregulated rise of the subprime market, which was a prime mover in the recent economic collapse. Greenspan, whom Ronnie Raygun installed at the Fed back in the '80s, said of his preaching the conservative mantra of deregulation for 18 years, "I made a mistake." That's one Rethug numbnut down, 50-plus million to go.

Extraordinary Accomplishments in Punditry Award
- (Tie) To Wee Willie Kristol, who said on "Fox News Sunday," December 17, 2006: "If [Hillary Clinton] gets a race against John Edwards and Barack Obama, she's going to be the nominee. Gore is the only threat to her, then...Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single Democratic primary. I'll predict that right now." Wee Willie continues to purvey his special brand of crackpottery in the NY Times (though perhaps not for long). And... Charles "Kraphammer" Krauthammer on "Fox News," August 11, 2008: "It starts with taking over of South Ossetia, which has already happened. It goes on to the destruction of the Georgia armed forces, which is now happening. And the third [development] will probably be the replacement of the elected government, which is pro-Western, with a puppet government, which will probably follow in the next week or two." None of this, of course turned out to be true, but Kraphammer wasn't interested in truth; he wanted to create a foreign policy hot spot that his boy McClueless could parachute into to prove what a great leader he is. Brilliant! (h/t to the WaPo, Dec. 28)

Kristol Ball Award
- To McClueless economic advisor Donald Luskin for saying, on September 14, 2008: "Anyone who says we're in a recession, or heading into one - especially the worst one since the Great Depression - is making up his own private definition of 'recession'" The following day, Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy and - you know the rest. Since Wee Willie retired this trophy (formerly known as "The Stupidest Man Alive Trophy") by the body of his work, it's henceforth named in his honor (though we always know who the "real" winner is!). (h/t to WaPo, Dec. 28)

Hack(s) of the Year
- A group award to the "mainstream TeeVee media" for once again proving against all hope that it could ignore or minimize the critical issues of a once- in- many- generations watershed election and instead find the most meaningless, lowest- common- denominator, brain dead things to focus on (we're looking at you, George Steponaflagpinopolous!). It was only until they couldn't possibly fail to notice the economy collapsing around them that they paid minimal attention to what might be best for America (hint: not Joe "the plumber"). How much longer before these cretins go the way of the print media?

We would be remiss if we didn't note the honest work of the much- maligned Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson, whose interviews with Gov. Winky helped expose her, um, shortcomings to the American people.

To all those we neglected to honor, we'll get you next year! To this year's losers - we mean "winners" - keep on hacking!

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Rethug Brand

For a great summary of what ails the Rethuglican Party, you have to read Nobel Prize winner Paul Krugman's column in the New York Times today. From the "Southern strategy", which aimed to win votes through appeals to racism, to the Reaganesque "government is the problem" mantra that led to Rethug mismanagement of government (after all, if government's the problem, why should it be well-managed?), Krugman outlines the Rethugs' path to their current dilemma.

Not your "party of Lincoln" anymore.

A Burris Under The Saddle

Is there a bigger fall guy in American politics today than Illinois' Roland Burris? Illinois Gov. Rod "Hair Clown" Blagojevich, who cynically appointed him to fill the soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat of President-elect Obama, is hoping for a last laugh before he's indicted, convicted and jailed. Sadly, instead of turning down the tainted offer, as did other Dems, Burris accepted, apparently because it's his last chance at "glory" that's eluded him for years. The guy even has a grandiose cemetery monument ready with his accomplishments to date chiseled in stone.

There are reports that Burris may try to enter the Senate chamber next Tuesday, when new Senators are sworn in. Senate leaders are vowing to bar him from the chamber, but the circus created will certainly cause an big uproar. Expect the Rethugs to smirk and play the righteous party, the racial extortionists to cry foul, and the Senate Dems to mess up the situation further.