Tuesday, December 19, 2006

First Annual 2006 Hackwhackers Awards

Hack(s) of the Year

To All Things Murdoch (Faux News, NY Post, Roger Ailes' ass, etc.). It's almost too easy a pick, but you've got to go with the ones who give you GOP talking points as analysis, "Surrender Monkeys", and the most un-balanced chorus line of wingnut hacks (Cavuto, Hume, O'Really?, Hannity, etc.) anywhere outside of a sanitarium. Overwhelming in terms of breadth, underwhelming in terms of depth.

Runners Up (close but no falafel)

To Terry Nelson, Republithug "strategist" who helped create the racist "Call Me, Harold" ad for the Corker Senate campaign. Nelson is now on the McCain payroll, presumably to put his considerable talents to bear as a mini-Rove divider stratergizer. Even Wal-Mart (!) dumped the guy for his role in the Corker ad.

And to Rush Limpballs, Jabba-like mime and deep thinker, for his "Fox trot" interpretation of Parkinson's symptoms. The fatter he gets, the dumber.

Dishonorable mentions

To potato heads Glenn Beck, Dennis Prager, and Rep. Virgil "Not So" Goode (Rethug.-VA), for their smears of Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), implying he can't be a real American, much less a legitimate member of Congress, because he's a Muslim and/or won't take a photo-op oath of office on the Bible, yadda yadda.

And to Alan Colmes, just for taking part in the H/C charade and thus for being the official "Surrender Monkey" (thank you NY Post) of the "left."

Tin Ear Award

To Nancy Pelosi, who by engaging in a divisive, unnecessary power struggle over the majority leader position, thereby giving the wingnut chorus noted above several weeks of fodder to cheer up their demoralized base, not only demonstrated right out of the box a political tin ear, but arguably a tin head.

Circular Firing Squad Award

To James Carville, for his gratuitous attacks on Howard Dean for the DNC's election strategy, speculating that the Dems could have won additional seats had the DNC put more money into several close races the Dems ultimately lost. Wifey must be whispering in his ear again. C'mon James, can you guess who your carping benefits? If not, see Pelosi, above.

STFU Advisories

To ABC/Disney crapudrama "Path to 9/11" - "path", indeed! Nice try, but again, no falafel.

To Tucker ("Pucker") Carlson - really, how did this country club towel boy get a show? Oh, yeah, his father...

To Chris Matthews - an advisory is probably never going to be enough for this blowhard narcissist who likes to answer his own questions.

To Chris Jansing - for habitually giving an open mike to Republithug hacks on her MSNBC show, while interrupting Dems with loaded questions.

And to the "Two Willies", William Kristol, chickenhawk of the "Weakly" Standard, and William ("Betcha") Bennett, moral standard bearer of the right.

To all the Winners and Wieners, hacks all, Hackwhackers wishes you a year of dyspepsia and laryngitis!!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Coming to this space

  • A retrospective look at 2006: Hacks of the Year, bungles, and moments to remember.
  • Plus, recurring features including The Decider's Diary, Right and Wrong, Red-Faced Rant, and Neoconned.