Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

To everything, there is a season...

(Big h/t to Brian, Hackwhackers' Germantown bureau chief and tech support guru)

Our Terrified Media

Salon's Glenn Greenwald has a typically smart take on the media's snit fit over President Obama's refusal to perform a war dance in front of their cameras over the recent terror attempt. Once again, it's all about the Village media: if there's no drama, there's no news. So let's make some drama, OK, Mr. President? As Greenwald notes, this is exactly what al Qaeda is looking for:
"As always, Al Qaeda's greatest allies are the ones in the U.S. who tremble with the most fear at the very mention of their name and who quite obviously crave a return of that stimulating, all consuming, elevating 9/12 glory."
Of course, back in late 2001 when Richard "Shoe Bomber" Reid was arrested, we heard none of the chatter in the media Village that Dumbya should immediately rush around issuing dramatic threats and generally act up for their cameras. Strange inconsistency.

Pills Ill

There are reports that hate radio star Pills Limballs has been hospitalized in Hawaii (stalking the President, are we?) in "serious condition" after having chest pains. Not surprising, given his Oxycontin habit, porcine shape, and preference for Dominican youth.

We're certain he has excellent health insurance, too.

(UPDATE: Pills is "resting comfortably" according to a hospital statement. Maybe he just needed some extra, um. . .pills)

(photo: Limpballs attempts a self-examination in the hospital)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

G.I. Joe

We noticed over the weekend that neocon Likudnik Joe Lieberliar now wants the U.S. to preemptively attack Yemen after the aborted airline bombing this past week. We're already stretched militarily in Iraq and Afghanistan, with troops stationed in South Korea, Western Europe and elsewhere, and now Lieberliar -- who never served in the armed forces -- blithely states on the Fux News Sunday poo-fling that "Yemen will be tomorrow's war" if we don't act preemptively. We thought Iran was "tomorrow's war" for Lieberliar, or was that Syria....

Soon, Lieberliar will have us fighting the entire Muslim world (maybe so that the Israelis won't have to?). Al Qaeda must be thrilled that they have a recruiter working for them in the U.S. Senate.

(photo: G.I. Joe unleashes his weapon of choice: halitosis with a helping of bullshit)

Ooooo, This Should Be Good

The child sole custody case being brought by Winky You Betcha's daughter Bristol should produce some fireworks from the baby daddy's side. The snowbilly battle will likely involve charges and counter-charges of unfitness and moral turpitude between the Winky and OxyJohnston clans as the case is litigated.

Baby daddy Levi has said in the past that he has something "big" on former Gov. Winky that he might threaten to use in an effort to maintain joint custody. Maybe some financial fraud committed by Winky or husband Clod? Or maybe some naughty behavior involving Winky and her former son-in-law? Stay tuned.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Turdblossom's Back in the Game, Ladies!

In Rethug family values/sanctity of heterosexual marriage news, Turdblossom has divorced Mrs. Turdblossom, according to spokesbimbo... Dana Perino (!). Mr. and Mrs. Turdblossom were married in 1986. This is Turdblossom's second divorce. It's been reported that actor Randy Quaid has complained that Turdblossom hit on his wife Evi, so let there be no doubt, ladies, that Turdblossom is Back in the Game. Playah!

(Photo: Turdblossom bids "fare thee well" to the ex-Mrs. Turdblossom)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Hackwhacker Awards for 2009

It's time again for the Hackwhacker Awards for 2009, so let's jump into the morass:

"Against It Before They Were For It" Brass Waffle Award
: To Rethuglicans, who were against Medicare (and still are) before they expediently were temporarily for it during the health care reform "debate." Oh, and deficits, too.

Wingnut War on Christmas Citation
: To far-right for putting on their web site a racist spoof of Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad," entitled "The Illegal Alien Christmas Song" (since removed). Illegal immigrants Moses and the Jews, as well as Jesus, Mary and Joseph would be proud.

Dumbass, Crazy Wingnut of the Year: To Rep. Michele "I See Commies" Bachmann. "Hoot-Smalley Tariffs." 'Nuff said.

Dumbass, Crazy, Dangerous Wingnut of the Year
: To Glenn "Boo-Hoo the Hoot" Beck, of whom it was said (we're paraphrasing here) by Stephen Colbert that he is almost too difficult to parody because he's set the stupid bar so high. It's the toxic mix of Boo-Hoo's frequent incitements to violence, his black helicopter conspiracy view of the world, his undisguised hatred of anyone to the left of the Dumbass, Crazy Wingnut of the Year (above) and his gullible viewers that make this a train wreck that could have consequences far beyond what we can imagine or fear.

Pinocchio Was a Piker Award: To Sarah "Winky You Betcha" Palin in a landslide. She thought the media's fact-checking of her error- and lie-ridden "book" was "opposition research!" Heh. Says she quit her job as Governor in order to "better serve the people of Alaska" -- by getting a multi-million dollar advance for a ghost-written book, freeing up time for a book (chartered airplane) tour and charging $100,000 to show up for speaking engagements. Riiiiight! So much, much more, but time and space are short.

Delusions of Majority Award
: To the tea-bagger Nation, and all 50 billion, er 50 million, er 50 thousand who showed up in Washington in September with their tea bags a-flopping, racist signs a-carrying, Paul Revere costumes a-wearing. Once more, with feeling: the election was in November, you lost big, go home, turn off Boo-Hoo the Hoot, and get a grip.

Just Do It Award: This goes to all the creepy crackpots who comment on wingnut blogs like RedState and Free Republic calling for the violent overthrow of the government ("Get your guns, lock and load; Civil War II is coming"- type shit.) Well, all you General Cornpones out there, go ahead and make a move. Stop your incessant threats and do something. There's plenty of space in the new Supermax prison they're opening in Illinois for the Gitmo prisoners, for those of you who aren't hanged or shot for treason first, that is.

Ho, Ho, Ho "Liberal Media" Award (tie): To Kaplan Daily (WaPo) editors who hired Rethug political operator and serial fact-fabricator Wee Willie Kristol shortly after the New York Times wisely declined to renew his contract. Wee Willie now inflicts his version of Obama Derangement Syndrome alongside crackpots and fellow fabricators Charles Kraphammer, Quill Will, Michael "Mushroom Cloud" Gerson, and Robert "Not Paul" Samuelson. Great catch! And,

To ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper, who referred to Fox News as a "sister organization," when the White House pointed out the commonly observed fact that Fox is the media arm of the Republican Party. You shouldn't take umbrage, Tippy, just because your "sister" is a ho! In the meantime, look for Tippy to inherit George Steponaflagpinopolous' chair at "This Week."

John Peter Zenger Award for Scruples in the Media, Incestuous Clusterf**k Division
(tie): To Politico's Jim VandeHei and Kaplan Daily's Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz, whose wives' earning a living as Rethug consultants apparently doesn't rise to the level of even an occasional disclaimer in their political pieces. Keep those "journalistic" standards high, douches! (There are any number of Dishonorable Mentions, such as CNN's Campbell Brown - married to neocon hawk Dan Senor -- and former Nixon deputy press secretary Diane Sawyer, but you get the picture.)

Euell Gibbons Too-Much-Fiber, Too-Much-Gas Award
: To David "The Dean" Broder, gasbag emeritus at the Kaplan Daily, for his lifelong search for "bipartisanship" (at least during those years when the Democrats are in power; when Rethugs rule, he wants to rock on Karl Rove's porch and enjoy the good times).

Rethug Zeitgeist Personified Award: To Michael "Tin Man" Steele - who best to represent the Rethug Party? It's the perfect intersection of party and person: smug, clueless, self-centered, nihilistic, selfish. Tin Man and the Rethug Party go together like ham and cheese.

The Bouncing Bag of BS Award: To Rush "Pills Limpballs" Limbaugh who gets the award after a solid year of raging against President Obama and the "libruls" who want to repair the damage Pills and his ilk in the Rethuglican Party have done to the U.S. Clips of his unintentionally hilarious, bouncing, arm-waving performance at the Conservative Political Action Committee's annual group grope were re-run on "Countdown", among other programs, threatening to trigger small earthquakes. Despite his success in conning the "dittoheads" who follow his nonsense, and the fawning of Rethuglican politicians, porcine Pills is a deeply insecure, dishonest "little" man.

* * * *
We've not even scratched the surface of "morans," crackpots, hypocrites, bomb-throwers, racists, and other denizens of the cesspool that is the far right in American politics, but that'll have to do for 2009. Rest assured there will be more fodder in 2010.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wanker of the Day

It's William "I.P." Daley, corporate Dem, in his Kaplan Daily op/ed, completely mis-reading the political malaise and how the Dems can re-energize the voters who put them in office. What "agenda far to the left of most voters" are Dems advancing? Certainly not the Senate version of health care. Certainly not marriage equality. Certainly not the corporate Dem approach to handling Wall Street. Certainly not the compromised stimulus legislation. Democrats didn't show up at the polls in Virginia (where the gubernatorial candidate ran away from Obama's "liberal" agenda) or New Jersey (whose incumbent Democrat was wildly unpopular) largely because those voters are tired of corporate Dems like yourself having your way and then bashing the base for not liking it. So, the question must be, who are you really shilling for now, I.P.?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Festivus!

It's December 23, time to haul out the aluminum pole and air your grievances. It's Festivus for the Rest of Us! Balloon Juice has the video.

(Frank Costanza seems to have the same temperament as the Senator pictured immediately below)

Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ya

MoDo's column in today's New York Times zeros in on the change in Sen. John McNasty's mood over the past year. The former darling of the media ("my base") and self-described "maverick" who occasionally went against his party's grain, seems to be all about obstruction and partisan behavior. Surprise! McNasty isn't the noble independent conservative that he once pretended to be.

It now looks like the "cause greater than ourselves" that McNasty always exhorted us to aspire to was McNasty himself. After he lost last year, he has shown himself to be the bitter, belligerent right-winger that we knew he was all along. Imagine the shock -- shock! -- to his media barbeque buddies who are seeing that he's not the cuddly old curmudgeon that they made him out to be.

(photo: "I'm through getting shot down")

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Tin Man Passes the Tin Cup

Rethug National Committee Chairman and National Laughingstock Michael "Tin Man" Steele has apparently been charging for his non-official moonlighting appearances - $15,000 or $20,000 a pop! And why not?! Who says just because you're the chairman of a major (?) political party you should avoid appearances of um... avarice?! (Sez Former Rethug National Committee Chairman Frank Fahrenkopf, Jr.: "Holy Mackerel!")

Also on the Rethug front: ConservaDem "Blue Dog" Rep. Parker "Roll" Griffith, freshman from Alabama (where else?) is switching to the Rethugs today. He'd voted almost 100% with them since January anyway, so Good Riddance. Look for Tin Man to hold a press conference... and charge a speaking fee.

(Photo: Tin Man is also available for birthday parties!)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Headline of the Day, Part Deux

"Pig Farts Spark Australia Gas Scare"

Didn't know Pills Limpballs was visiting Australia. . .

"Dukakis Without the Administrative Skill"

That's one of Drew Westen's biting critiques of President Obama and his administration in a must-read HuffPo posting. Can't say I agree with absolutely everything in the posting, but jeez it sure hits a lot of the right notes for me, and for a lot of progressives* (unfortunately). My fondest wish is that Obama is shown this article, reads it and takes it to heart.

*As we write, Naomi Klein continues the pile-on.

Fed Up With The Filibuster

As noted earlier today, Senate rules requiring a super-majority of 60 votes to limit debate (cloture) made the health insurance reform process nearly fail. With Rethugs blindly determined to stop any legislation that would help President Obama and the Democrats politically, this represents what Paul Krugman in today's New York Times calls "a dangerous disfunction."

Attempts were made in the past to change the rule and allow the Senate to pass legislation by simple majority, as in the House of Representatives. The ferocious partisan war being waged by the Rethugs will ensure very difficult battles on energy, financial reform, and climate change legislation, and they won't give up the filibuster weapon, regardless of the harm they're doing to the country.

Headline of the Day

"Heroic Arsonist Puts Out Own Fire." -- from the Huffington Post. They're referring to Federal Reserve Chair Ben "Banker Buddy" Bernanke, Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" and one of the key officials that was asleep at the switch as the financial industry slowly but surely started in a disastrous downward spiral last year. Banker Buddy assured bank executives that the subprime mortgage scam wouldn't affect their profitability a couple of years ago, as defaults on escalating mortgages rose. The Senate Banking Committee just voted to approve a new term for Bernanke, with the full Senate confirmation vote coming next month.

Which all goes to prove that in D.C., some will always be absolved from the consequences of their misjudgements and poor performance.

A 60th Vote and the Senate Bill Moves

The process of countering endless lies about health care reform from Rethuglicans, of compromising with political sharks like Joe Lieberliar, and of trying to get just half a loaf of reform out of the process has been painful to watch. The vote late last night/early this morning to impose cloture will allow the bill to come to the Senate floor for a vote, probably Christmas Eve. The Administration is promoting the fact that the Senate legislation would mandate affordable coverage of 30-plus million Americans and eliminate insurance industry gamesmanship on pre-existing conditions and denying benefits simply to maximize their profits. We'll see, as the Senate and House bills go to conference committee to be "merged."

The 60th vote that broke the Rethug threat of filibuster came from none other than conservative Nebraska Democrat Sen. Ben "Ben Dover" Nelson, who extorted some budget goodies for Nebraska and added some slippery language on abortion coverage to win his vote. Profile in statesmanship there, Ben Dover.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Rethug Police Blotter - Police Edition

Since 1999, Page Co., VA, Sheriff Dan Presgraves (Rethug-Yahooville) has been wielding his authority with "rakish charm and raw power" (Kaplan Daily). Well, seems like Rakish Dan may have been a little too rakish and a little too raw, since he's just been sentenced to 19 months in prison and a $75,000 judgement for racketeering (bribery, extortion, conspiracy, money laundering) and sexual harassment. Among Rakish Dan's Rethug admirers and supporters are former Sen. George "Macaca" Allen, former Atty. Gen. Jerry Kilgore, and Rep. Frank Wolf (let the furious backpedaling begin!).

(Photo: Rakish ex-Sheriff Dan Presgraves, whom we hope will maintain a good grip on his soap where he's going.)

Wingnut Radio Network Files Chapter 11

Citadel Broadcasting, third largest radio broadcasting company and home (in some markets) to the likes of Pills Limpballs and Mark Levin, is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Maybe they need to renegotiate some of those wingnuts' contracts?

"Citadel" - is that an appropriate name for a wingnut network or what!? Kind of like "Berchtesgaden Broadcasting."

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Winter Wonderland

We're expecting 16-20 inches of snow today in the Washington, DC, area. Housebound. Enjoying the beauty of winter (though it's late fall). Time for a little Robert Frost:

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening (1923)

"Whose woods are these I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Then They Came For The Bat-Shit Crazy. . .

Again, Jon Stewart performs a critical national service in his latest demolition of the teabagger crowd and their cynical right-wing Rethuglican leaders, who protested health insurance reform earlier this week at the Capitol. His take-down of Fux News harpie Laura "Bat Shit" Ingraham is especially priceless. Speaking to the clueless tea party crowd, "BS" did her take on the famous "first they came for..." poem about the Holocaust:
"First they came for the rich, but I was not rich so I didn't speak up. . ."

You get the drift -- health care reform is equivalent to the Holocaust. Stewart mocked Bat Shit's shrieking by concluding that if the Government "begins to round up and kill the rich, and the landowning and those who choose to exercise their right to bear arms....I'll speak up."

(photo: Bat Shit Ingraham prepares to take on the Gummint)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Of Banks, Sanctimonious Senators and a Weak Executive

Steve Perlstein, as one would expect, nails it in his column today. If only we had the fearless leaders willing to fight that we thought we were voting into office a year ago... Of course, we're not alone in feeling like a large lump of coal labeled "health care reform" was just dropped in our Christmas stocking.

Winky Turns Up the Heat. . .Or Maybe It's Just Nature

Former Alaska half-term Gov. Winky You Betcha has found herself in a tiff with California Gov. Schwarzenegger over climate change. As you recall, the Washington Kaplan Daily published an op-ed column last week that someone wrote for Winky that called into question whether global warming was caused by human activity. Ahnuld spoke up a couple of days ago and wondered whether Winky was "really interested in this subject, or. . .interested in her career and winning the (Rethuglican presidential) nomination." (oo oo, we know the answer, teacher!)

Well, Winky climbed back on her hobby horse and tossed a few verbal spitballs at the Governator on her policy vehicle of choice: Facebook. The thin-skinned Winky wondered why Ahnuld was pushing environmental policies that led to deficits and unemployment in California. To which we say, good point, Winky: conservation of fossil fuels and greater use of renewable energy sources is indeed the secret cause of our fiscal problems, as are death panels and reading newspapers and magazines.

(photo: Winky knows better than 2,500 climatologists and other scientists; you betcha!)

"He's No Diane Sawyer. . ."

We were remiss in not noting last Monday's debut of George Steponaflagpinopoulos on ABC's Good Morning America, replacing Diane Sawyer. The Kaplan Daily's Tom Shales had the best headline marking the transition:

"He's No Diane Sawyer, but Stephanopoulos Holds His Own In 'GMA' Debut."

Actually, congratulations are in order: it's a step up for George to be interviewing Tiger Woods' girlfriends, rather than holding Sunday blabathons with Quill Pen Will and Cokie "Okie Dokie" Roberts on who's wearing flag pins this week.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"Congratulations, Senate Dems!!!"

Steve Singiser writes in Daily Kos about the disappointment many of us are feeling about the apparent willingness of Senate Dems, "led" by Harry "Wispy" Reid, to capitulate to President Lieberliar on health care reform. A once- in- a- generation opportunity to truly reform the insurance industry is fast slipping away; House Dems (Rep. Steny Hoyer, to be precise) are already making noise about following the Senate's lead in stripping out the public option from its bill.

Cries of "We won! We won!" should be expected soon from the insurance lobby.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Betrayer

There are numerous reasons to detest Sen. Joe Lieberliar (Party of One-CT): his help to the Bushit Assministration in pushing us to war in Iraq and his smug refusal to admit he was wrong; his frequent placement of Israel's interests above his country's; his support of the McSame/Winky ticket knowing full well that Winky was absurdly unqualified and McSame would continue Dumbya's policies; and his lack of humility and gratitude for the President, who supported Lieberliar's retention as Chair of the Homeland Security Committee.

Now, Lieberliar, despite statements a few weeks ago that he would support Medicare expansion to younger citizens, is now saying he won't vote for it or a public option in the Senate bill. He's also saying that he'll vote to block the bill from coming to the Senate floor for a vote. He's an angry, petty, vindictive buffoon who wants the Democrats to pay for his humiliations in the 2004 Presidential primaries, and the 2006 Senate race in Connecticut. He's doing this knowing that blocking health insurance reform will result in thousands of deaths each year, as people without coverage will wait to visit a hospital emergency room, will wait until it's too late.

Wanker Monday at Kaplan Daily

After reading Charles Lane's most recent anti-labor screed on "job killers," is should come as no surprise that he's a member of the Kaplan Daily's editorial board (you know, the same one that's always opposed to public union activity -- teachers are a pet peeve). Yes, it's the gummint and those damn greedy minimum-wage workers and unions that are the job killers, not the fat cat bankers who won't loosen up credit for small business and consumer lending! Asshole.

Another wanker sharing the op/ed page today is Robert "Not Paul" Samuelson whose "thinking" on health care reform miraculously mirrors Missy McConnell's and can be condensed to this:
"To attack costs first would be politically challenging. It would require admitting that all good things are not possible simultaneously and that the uninsured already receive much medical care." (my emphasis)

Also, asshole.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Quote of the Week

"These people are not connected to reality." -- Rethuglican Head Loon Michelle "I See Commies" Bachmann talking about the Obama Administration. Please try not to laugh.

It's true that the Administration is not connected to her "reality", which consists of the nuttiest conspiracy theories (anti-Americans in Congress, the Census takers are going to steal your freedom, etc. etc.) and far-right statements (grab your ammo and guns for the coming revolution) so extreme that she barely got re-elected in her wingnut-majority district in 2008. Lots of individuals that share her "reality" have already been institutionalized.

Desensitized Villagers

The Kaplan Daily's Dan "No" Balz (heir apparent to David "The Dean" Broder - they even share the same initials) has a fluff piece for the ages today, "How governors could guide a Grand New Party." Why Dan is just giddy with the idea of a resurgence of the Rethugs behind the middle- aged- white- man leadership of Mississippi's Haley Barbour or Indiana's Mitch Daniels! He'll even take Tim Pawlenty or Mittens Romney! Any white guy will do! A Grand New Party, yessiree! Let's bring back the party that led us into Iraq and the worst economic collapse since the Great Depression! Obama's had his one lousy year!

But his treatment of Texas' Rick "Hair" Perry is most revealing:
"Over the past year, he has emerged as another leader in the anti-Washington movement, with talk of secession that has made him the darling of many conservatives."

That's it. No analysis that a governor talking about secession in 2009 would be immediately disqualified from consideration for national office; no comment that appealing to the tea-bagger fringe of the Rethug party is further polarizing politics and pushing the Rethugs farther away from the mainstream. No, none of that from No Balz. That's because he and so many of the Beltway Villagers have become completely desensitized to the radicalization that's been going on in the Rethug party for the past 30 years or so. Had a progressive talked about secession - you know damn well No Balz and the other Villagers would pronounce that person a joke, politically dead. Instead we have this passing by without a whisker on his face being disturbed.

(Photo: His giddy Balz have been desensitized)

Friday, December 11, 2009

O'Really vs. "Law and Order: SVU"

Poor Bill O'Really! He's upset that he's been called out in a recent episode of "Law and Order: SVU" for his history of anti-brown people hate-fanning (along with Limpballs and Boo Hoo the Hoot). Our only quibble? Where's Loopy Lou Dobbs in this equation? He's the most visible proponent of rounding up the Messicans. Well, we'll settle for this hat trick of hate being identified for who they are.

(Image: O'Really's sad: people are saying bad things about him - true things, but bad things.)

OMG. . .

What's with the woodsman's cap, Winky? You get it in that consignment shop in Wasilla?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Boo Hoo to Seniors: Drop Dead

On his hate radio show yesterday, deranged Fux News host Glenn "Boo Hoo the Hoot" Beck stumbled on a brilliant idea: let's abolish Medicare! Let's see if Boo Hoo can sell that concept to his clueless teabagging followers, who show up at rallies with signs saying "Keep the Government Out of my Medicare!" Maybe he can argue the case for putting the U.S. back on the gold standard, now that he's got a vested interest in that commodity.

Beck/Palin in 2012!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Rethug Crime Blotter

Former Missouri Rethuglican House Speaker Rod "Clod" Jetton was arrested last Monday for allegedly beating his mistress senseless during a rough sex episode. Clod is also believed to have slipped her a dose of the "date drug" Rohypnol. The felony assault carries a seven year sentence and/or $5,000 fine, according to the report in the Kansas City Star.

If Clod wants some rough sex action, let's hope he receives lots of it in prison.

(photo: Clod's police mug shot. And no, we didn't Photoshop it, he really looks like that)

Winky's Most Excellent Op Ed

The villagers at the Kaplan Daily are taking considerable heat for once again publishing a "Sarah Palin" op/ed, this time on the Copenhagen climate change meeting. For someone who can barely string together an adjective, noun and verb to write an analysis of what's at stake at the Copenhagen meeting... er... strains credulity, shall we say. Media Matters did the fact check that the Post editors are too lazy, partisan, stupid (or all three) to do. Moreover, why would the Post give this dimbulb a forum when there are worthy experts who could make a useful contribution but will never see the op/ed page of the Post?

This is how once-great newspapers die.

(Image: via

Morning Blow

We happened to catch a few minutes of MSNBC's lamest program, "Morning Joe," and saw Rethuglican National Committee chairclown Tin Man Steele holding forth on the Senate's health insurance reform compromise. (Notice how Mika The Sweater fawns over Tin Man; did they teach that in journalism class?) To paraphrase Tin Man, the Dems are moving toooooo fast (President Truman pushed universal health insurance over 60 years ago). Moreover, Tin Man took righteous umbrage at Senate Majority Leader Reid's statement that at times when significant change is needed (abolition of slavery, womens' suffrage, civil rights, etc.), there are always those who want to slow things down.

When panelist Donnie Deutch finally asked Tin Man exactly what was inaccurate about Reid's statement, Tin Man got all "oh no you dint" on Deutch and refused to answer the question. Of course he can't, because it's absolutely true, and Rethugs/conservatives have almost always found themselves on the wrong side in these past struggles. With health insurance reform, their obstuctionism is plain for all to see (New Hampshire Rethug Sen. Judd "Jug Head" Gregg even wrote a memo to his colleagues on procedures, amendments and other stalling tactics to use in the debate).

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

"Hyp, Hyp, Hypocrisy!"

President Obama addressed the economy - jobs - in his speech at the Brookings Institution today, and left no doubt who the culprits are inhibiting job growth (hint: it's the same ones that got us into the mess we're in). Also, in a one-two hypocrisy punch, HuffPo has a story on the Rethugs' "we were for Medicare yesterday before we were against it today" strategery on fighting the health reform bill.

It's good to see some push-back against these deeply irresponsible, consistently wrong, always hypocritical numbnuts.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Irrelevant vs. Irrelevant

Every few years, Sen. John McAncient actually says something truthful, usually inadvertently. Yesterday, on "Beat the Meat", er that is, "Meet the Press" with Dancin' David Gregory, McAncient criticized those "attacking" his former running mate and snowbilly grifter Winky You Betcha, but went on to say that Winky was "irrelevant." McAncient better change his address and go into some sort of witness protection program, once Winky's rabid followers get wind of his put-down of their goddess.

Curiously, the Beltway media savants are still treating McAncient as if he won the election last year. Last weekend, he appeared on all of the network gas fests to bloviate about the Afghanistan decision, raising the question "why should we care what McAncient thinks?" "Irrelevant": it takes one to know one.

Less Bailout, More Job Stimulus?

The financial system bailout is soaking up less taxpayer dollars than originally anticipated - about $200 billion less. That according to a Treasury department official who cites faster repayment and lower spending by the bailed-out institutions as reasons for the unexpected funds availability. The funds are now potentially available for reprogramming by Congress for an enhanced job stimulus effort, barring an effort by Rethugs to derail it for "deficit reduction" (their holy grail, now that they're not in power to create trillion dollar deficits themselves). Let's hope the Dems get it done, because as Speaker Pelosi says, a jobs creation program is the best deficit reduction program.

Richly Deserved

A new poll from Rasmussen indicates that in a hypothetical Congressional match-up, a generic candidate representing the teabaggers would beat the generic Rethug candidate 23% to 18%, with the Dem candidate beating both with 36%. The Rethug establishment has been desperately trying to promote anti-Obama "tea parties" and to co-opt the teabaggers -- largely a mix of nativists, anti-government activists, racists, and low information "morans" -- and keep them in the shrinking Rethuglican political tent. Looks like, for now, their cynical efforts are being spurned by the baggers. To which we can only say, it's so richly deserved.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Dumbass of the Week

Winky You Betcha's fans were out in full force in Fairfax, Virginia yesterday, at another of the quitter's book signing events. One "fan," a Mr. Williams, had this to say about why he likes Winky:
"We're average people. We work Monday through Friday to pay our bills and put food on our tables. That's who she is."

Hmmm. Let's test Mr. Williams' analysis here to see the similarities:

-- Winky has a multi-million dollar book deal - nothing in common there;
-- Winky flies around in a corporate jet, then boards a custom bus for her book signing events - nothing in common there;
-- Winky charges $16 per photograph with her adoring sheeple - nothing in common there;
-- Winky charges in the six figures for appearances, even at state Rethug events - nothing in common there;
-- Winky quit her job as Alaska governor so she could "cash in" via all of the above, unencumbered - nothing in common there;
-- Winky's a moron - Yes!! At last we've found what Mr. Williams and Winky have in common!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Bad Max

In the same way he insists on bipartisanship in the Senate, Dem. Senator Max "Bad Max" Baucus apparently wants to show his Rethug colleagues that he can be as naughty as they are when it comes to shenanigans with the staff. His nomination of his girlfriend, Melodee Hanes, to be U.S. attorney has raised questions about favoritism on Bad Max's part. Hanes, Bad Max's former state director, ended up taking another job offer instead. She worked for the Senator since 2002, and has been dating Bad Max since the summer of 2008, a few months after he separated from his wife (whom he later divorced). While it doesn't nearly approach the sliminess of Rethug Sen. Don Juan Ensign's affair with his staff member / best friend's wife (and subsequent payment of hush money), it's a reminder that often the political elite don't believe the rules apply to them.

(photo: Bad Max, keeping it bipartisan)

Friday, December 4, 2009

Your Caring Corporation: Aetna

Health insurance giant Aetna has announced that it's raising premiums in 2010, resulting in an estimated 650,000 people forced off its client rolls. The reason? Lower than anticipated profits. Corporate jets becoming more expensive, is that it?

What better justification for a strong public option to pressure these robbers to hold the line on price increases (and denial of coverage, for that matter)?

High Broderism as Conventional Wisdom

"It is now as certain as anything can be in politics that 2010 will be a painful year for Democrats -- a year of high unemployment, staggering deficits and a growing list of casualties from an unresolved war." -- Dean of Washington Gasbags David "Broderella" Broder in today's Kaplan Daily. Certain?!? It's 11 months until election day 2010. If events change and change again as they have in the last 11 months, at the beginning of which Democrats were riding very high indeed, who's to say with certainty what the political landscape will be? Only the most lazy gasbag who gets his deep thoughts over lunch paid by a Rethug spinmeister, that's who. I'm cutting this op/ed out for revisiting ll months from now.

(Image: The Dean of Gasbags, aloft)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Half Moon Times

According to this report, Washington's right-wing rag The Washington (Moonie) Times is laying off at least 40% of its staff, and going to free distribution (if you can't sell it, give it away). Started in 1982 by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church, the Moonie Times has been a small but vocal voice of the right wing in D.C., featuring such blowhards as neocon Frank "Gaffer" Gaffney and former Poot Gingrich press aide Tony "The Blank" Blankley on its op-ed pages. It's lost some $2 billion recently, as the Moon family squabbles internally for the remaining assets.

As we've noted, the Moonie Times' circulation is less than that of such papers as the Allentown PA Morning Call. Strangely, though, the Washington, DC media Villagers seek out Moonie Times "reporters" when filling out a panel discussion on their political talk shows. Gotta get those widely-read, wingnut views out!

(photo: Newspaper founder/Messiah Rev. Moon appears at the Washington Times to announce the layoffs)

Best Double Entendre of the Year

"Tiger Woods continues to have problems with his putz." -- MSNBC's Keith Olbermann on last night's "Countdown" opening intro. Keith's #1 story last night was a pun-fest at Woods' expense ("birdies," "sand traps," etc.). Stories of his multiple affairs (two confirmed, one denied) are blossoming.

Why Woods believed he could escape the publicity stemming from his car accident is beyond us. As with many celebrities, Woods must have arrogantly assumed that he was entitled to, and could get away with, his infidelities because. . .well because he's Tiger Woods, golfer and billionaire endorser. (Why Woods would even think about messing around is also a mystery -- his wife's photo above is exhibit A in his insanity trial).

(photo: Playing those extra holes has been hard-on Tiger)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Quote of the Day

"Actually Beck is a problem of taste as well as ethics. He laughs and cries; he pouts and giggles; he makes funny faces and grins like a cartoon character; he makes earnest faces yet insists he is a clown; he cavorts like a victim of St. Vitus' Dance. His means of communicating are, in other words, so wide-ranging as to suggest derangement as much as versatility." -- Former Fux News Watch host Eric Burns, on the subject of nutball Glenn "Boo Hoo the Hoot" Beck. Burns was with Fux since it began in 1996, and was released in early 2008. He also describes Fux as a "right wing partial-news-but-mainly-opinion network." We're certain that Burns looks back on his years at Fux with considerable shame.

Rethug Kristol Ball Gazers

When you hear dire warnings about Democratic foreign policy (or health care and global warming, for that matter) coming from Rethugs and neocons, please keep in mind these fearless forecasts about what would happen when the U.S. turned over control of the Panama Canal in December 1999 (h/t to Al Kamen's "In the Loop" Kaplan Daily column):

"If we do nothing, I can guarantee you that within a decade, a communist Chinese regime that hates democracy and sees America as its primary enemy will dominate the tiny country of Panama, and thus dominate the Panama Canal..." Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (Rethug-LaLa Land), Dec. 7, 1999. Actually, numbnut, China sees America as its primary debtor.

"[the Clinton Administration was] allowing a scenario to develop where U.S. national security interests could not be protected without confronting the Chinese Communists in the Americas." Then-Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (Rethug-Miss-by-a-mile)

Well, here we are a decade later and, as Kamen points out, "Loop spotters placed for the last decade at strategic locations in Panama, Nicaragua and other likely invasion routes say they have yet to see any Chinese troop movements north toward Texas and Mississippi."

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Politico Plays Softball With The Dick

"Politico" stenographers Mike Allen and Jim VandeHei (former Kaplan Daily "reporters," whoda thunk it?!) have conducted a double knob job, er, interview with former VP Dick "Dick" Cheney, subject: Barack Hussein Hitler Obama and his failed Afghanistan policy (yet to be announced). You have two options: check out Kos' take, or check out Wonkette's. Better yet, check them both out! Unfortunately, the transcription does not provide the slurping and sucking sounds emanating from the stenographers as they "take" "dick"- tation (pardon the lame puns). Way to do your jobs, "men!"

(Photo: "Are you two finished yet? C'mon hurry it up - I don't have all day!")

Rethugs Adopt "New" Spokesman For Party

Would you believe it's former President Saint Ronnie Raygun! Check out The Onion's report.

It's an improvement over their current "leadership."

The Don Juan Ensign Show

Rethug Sen. John "Don Juan" Ensign's affair with his staff director's wife was exposed earlier this year, but Don Juan continues to twist slowly in the wind of Nevada politics. He told a Las Vegas talk show that he wouldn't step down because it would force a second Senate race in 2010, in addition to the Senate race that Sen. Harry Reid (D) will be in. That would take "the focus off Harry Reid," Don Juan unselfishly explained.

Don Juan's in major trouble in Nevada, and that's not accounting for the possible violations of law that he may have committed in an attempt to silence his mistress and her husband. The Senate Ethics Committee is looking into Don Juan's misbehavior to determine whether laws were broken, and the mistresses' husband apparently has more to tell about Don Juan's gyrations to keep the affair quiet. So sit back, and pop some popcorn; the show continues.

(photo: Don Juan Ensign, behind his wife's back . . .literally)