Pope Francis: Redistribute Economic Benefits

Pope Francis, today in Rome:

[E]quitable economic and social progress can only be attained by joining scientific and technical abilities with an unfailing commitment to solidarity accompanied by a generous and disinterested spirit of gratuitousness at every level. A contribution to this equitable development will also be made both by international activity aimed at the integral human development of all the world’s peoples and by the legitimate redistribution of economic benefits by the State, as well as indispensable cooperation between the private sector and civil society.

In our imagination, the entire Wingnut World -- from Fox "News," to the Catholic League's "Sweaty" Bill Donohue, to the New York Times' Ross "I Seriously" Douthat,  to Weeper of the House John "Mr. Tangerine Man" Boehner -- is sharting mightily today.

UPDATE:  Hate radio's porcine poo flinger Rush Limpballs is wetting his XXXXL Depends:  his response to the Pope's statement is "Marxism and socialism."  Which would put J.C. Himself in the same category as the Pope….

UPDATE II:  More sharting on the right.   Jim "The Dumbest Man on the Internet" Hoft applies his weightless analysis:  "Marxist Pope"  (via dimbulb Matt Drudge)!

UPDATE III:  Regarding Fox "News's" Sean Hannity and "Sweaty" Bill Donohue, we rest our case.

Quote of the Day - "Deluded Republican Reformers"

How to go about saving the Rethuglican Party from itself?  Michael Tomasky notes recent attempts by right-wing pundits to offer solutions, but it's Tomasky who hits the nail on the head over and over in his excellent piece:

"We all know the problem. It’s Rush Limbaugh and his imitators and Roger Ailes and his network. They drive this hatred daily, and they intentionally misinform and lie; you think it’s an accident that polls always find Fox viewers the least connected to empirical reality? Pushing this fury and constructing this alternate reality is great for business. But it’s horrible for America. And the “serious” conservative pundits by and large try to pretend it doesn’t exist, or it’s not that bad, or MSNBC does the same thing in reverse. Well, it does exist, it is that bad, and no, MSNBC does not do the same thing in reverse. MSNBC has an agenda, but it doesn’t craft its messages in such a way as to make its viewers hate half the country." (our emphasis)

When you have a base that has been on the receiving end of lies, distortions and hate for, in some cases, half a century,  it's hard to turn things around in one or two election cycles.  There would have to be a concerted, sustained effort by those in the party who are truly alarmed at the extremism to introduce their base to reality.  Disconnecting those people from their cherished prejudices and insane conspiracy theories means undoing the conscious efforts of the right-wing activists who captured the party apparatus decades ago in order to build just such an angry, driven political base.  Will they "unplug" hate radio and the Fox "News" machine?  We don't think that's likely in the forseeable future, if ever.

BONUS:  Stephen Colbert skewers just the kind of nonsense Tomasky's talking about (for which we awarded Ben "Dover" Shapiro*  of Breitbart.com "Wanker of the Week").
* That never gets old.

The Conservative Con Men

Welcome back, Bill Maher!

No, No, No

We generally love HBO's Bill Maher. We count on him to skewer right-wing idiocy in his hilarious takes on "Real Time." But unfortunately Maher is, among other things, a misogynist, a serious failing he shares with Oxycontin Rush Limbaugh. He also seems to have a learning disability that keeps him from comprehending the meaning of certain spoken words, to wit his recent remarks on the Oxycontin Rush "slut" controversy:

"A guy made a bad joke."

No. No. No. Limbaugh didn't make a "bad joke." Any sensible person who saw the lengthy attack on Sandra Fluke by Oxycontin Rush would quickly discern there was no humor, no set-up, no punch line in any of the slurs that issued from Oxycontin's mouth over the course of 3 brutal days. A "bad joke?" You have to have not just tin ears but glass eyeballs -- and no judgment -- to say Limbaugh made a bad joke, Bill. Maher's friends need to have an intervention with the guy and make him watch and listen to the entirety of Limbaugh's tirade, and then see if he still thinks it was just a "bad joke."

Primary Day in South Carolina

Today is primary day in South Carolina, ancestral home of treasonous secession and unreconstructed racism (Rick Perry and John C. Calhoun, why hast thou forsaken us?). In the course of a week, Willard "What Tax Returns?" Romney's lead has dwindled into, depending on the poll, a dead heat or a solid lead for Newt "The Swinger" Gingrich. One, Public Policy Polling, has The Swinger up by 37%-28% over Millionaire Mitt.

One reason for The Swinger's Up-Schwing (gag) may be that the teabaggers are going for him overwhelmingly: 52%-18% in that same PPP poll. Here's what one numbnut, Karen Martin of the Spartanburg (S.C.) Tea Party, had to say:

"Then our conversation turned to Mitt Romney, and Martin’s sunny countenance darkened. 'I don’t know a single Tea Party person,' she said, slowly drawing out her words, 'who does not despise Mitt Romney to the very core of their being.' I searched her face for levity or compassion, but found neither."

Back in 2008, Oxycontin Rush Limpballs was urging his knuckle-dragging listeners in Texas and Ohio to vote for Hillary Clinton in their open primaries in order to prolong the Democratic race, calling it "too good a soap opera." Now that we have a similar soap opera (or better, a comedy of errors) unfolding in the Rethuglican race, we can only hope it goes on as long as possible, right Rush?

(Image: Tea baggers to the reskew!)

Wingnut Wurlitzer: For Sale to the Highest Bidder

"Payola n. Slang 1. Bribery, especially the bribing of disc jockeys to promote records."

An interesting, but not shocking, article in Politico about some of the most popular hate-mongerers in the media and how they're getting paid for a plug here, an endorsement there by crackpot groups like FreedomWorks and Americans for Prosperity. Millions of dollars a year. We're talking the likes of Pills Limpballs, Sean "Heil" Hannity, Boo Hoo the Hoot Beck, and Crazy Ass Mark Levin. All men of the highest moral standards money can buy, of course. Not that any of this would matter to their loyal sheeple ("They're just workin' the free market!"). How perfect.

(Photo: The Three Stooges, c. 2011)

It's Why We Call Them "Rethugs," Cont.

"The last year has established that the whole premise of manmade global warming is a hoax, and we still have presidential candidates who want to buy into it!" -- Perfesser Rush "Pills" Limpballs on his June 7 radio hate fest, blasting Mittens/ Muff/ Willard Romney for acknowledging the reality of manmade climate change. Pills should know better about manmade global warming, since his daily fact-free hot air blasts make a significant contribution to it.

When You Live in a Glass Mega Mansion...

Reactionary tub o' lard Oxycontin Rush Limpballs has never shown the slightest sign of self-awareness, but his latest broadside against Michelle Obama makes us wonder if the hateful f**k has ever stood in front of a mirror. It seems Limpballs doesn't want Obama to tell people to each healthy foods because he doesn't think she's in good enough shape to do so. Well, I for one would put money any day on the First Lady kicking Limpballs' ginormous ass in any fitness or attractiveness contest, wouldn't you?

Limpballs isn't the only right-winger to go after the First Lady in recent days - Mama Fizzly and Michele "I See Commies" Bachmann have recently attacked her for supporting breastfeeding (!). Yes, the barking dog right-wing attack machine is always "on", even when an Obama's doing something good.

(Photo: Next time, stick in in your ear)

Chevy Volt: Motor Trend Hits Back at Limpballs, Will

The hybrid Chevy Volt has been a favorite target of far-right polemicists like Oxycontin Rush Limpballs and George "Quill" Will, primarily because 1) it's a GM product and therefore is tainted by the (successful) gummint bailout, and 2) the Obama administration is providing a $7,500 tax credit for purchasing the Volt, and therefore is tainted by any association with Obama. Sadly for Limpballs and Will, Motor Trend magazine recently named it its 2011 Car of the Year. So that necessitated a characteristically nasty, silly rejoinder from Limpballs on his radio shew.

Well, Motor Trend didn't exactly take the partisan hackery from the right laying down. Check out Todd Lassa's blog on the kerfuffle with Limpballs. Here's a few quotes from the blog to pique your interest:

From Jonny Lieberman on Quill Will: "A bit of flag waving is in order -- but instead, [George] Will chooses to be a partisan clown and gets everything wrong." (Ed. -It certainly isn't the first time, nor will it be the last.)

From Lassa on Limpballs: "If you can stop shilling for your favorite political party long enough to go for a drive, you might really enjoy the Chevy Volt... Just remember: driving and Oxycontin don't mix." (Ed. - Hee-hee)

Ooo-ooo Jerry's!

Just heard one of those celebrity impersonation spots for Jerry's Subs and Pizza. This time the celebrity lampooned was Rush Limpballs. Played to perfection - pompous, self-satisfied, "99.9% sure" of his "facts." Wish we had an audio link. Hilarious. The disclaimer says "overpaid opinionator's voice impersonated." Jerry's just earned a customer for life.

Headline of the Day, Part Deux

"Pig Farts Spark Australia Gas Scare"

Didn't know Pills Limpballs was visiting Australia. . .

O'Really vs. "Law and Order: SVU"

Poor Bill O'Really! He's upset that he's been called out in a recent episode of "Law and Order: SVU" for his history of anti-brown people hate-fanning (along with Limpballs and Boo Hoo the Hoot). Our only quibble? Where's Loopy Lou Dobbs in this equation? He's the most visible proponent of rounding up the Messicans. Well, we'll settle for this hat trick of hate being identified for who they are.

(Image: O'Really's sad: people are saying bad things about him - true things, but bad things.)

Narcissism, Limpballs, and Ass Cracks

MoDo's column in today's New York Times thoroughly reams Pills Limpballs for his narcissism and grand ego, and is worth a read. Years ago, she was actually able to get through a dinner with the porcine Pills, who comes across as a massive ball of pig manure.

He also seems obsessed with "anal poisoning," as Media Matters points out. Perhaps this is a psychological/proctological reflection of his Vietnam War-era draft dodging, when Pills escaped the draft by having a cyst in his ass crack. How it got there is subject to speculation, but anal poisoning can't be ruled out.

(photo: Limpballs performs a self-examination for anal poisoning)

Limpballs Gives Fux His Seal of Approval

Think Progress picked up on a revealing moment in yesterday's kiss-fest on the Fux News Sunday show between Pills Limpballs and that beady-eyed little creep Chris (W)all-ass. Asking only softball questions during his hour of worship of the Drugster, (W)all-ass didn't object (gasp!)when Pills lumped Fux in with other "conservative" media like hate radio. We're shocked, SHOCKED!! that (W)all-ass didn't respond thusly: "No, no sir. While we have the utmost respect for you and your fine listeners, we are [snicker] fair and [snicker] balanced! Oh, the hell with it. . . haw haw haw."

Someone alert ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper and stand by with a fainting couch and smelling salts.

Limpballs Punk'd

Non-NFL owner Pills Limpballs was punk'd on his radio rant the other day by an obscure humor blogger peddling a bogus Obama college "thesis." Part way through his schtick it was brought to his attention he'd been had and he was forced to back down. Bwahahahahaha!

Given the "morans" in the wingnut media, look for this already discredited hoax to become another Obama birth certificate/ pallin' around with terrorists/ hitlersocialistfascist viral meme for them.

Mr. Pigskin

Stung by his rejection for part ownership of the St. Louis Rams, hate radio star Pills Limpballs lashed out, saying:

"This is not about the NFL. It's not about the St. Louis Rams. It's not about me. This is about the ongoing effort by the left in this country, wherever you find them, in the media, the Democratic Party, or wherever, to destroy conservatism, to prevent the mainstreaming of anyone who is prominent as a conservative. . .this is about the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we're going to have."

Well, Pills, it is about you, actually. Your hate speech, which is way beyond "conservative," drew the disapproving attention of the NFL and its billionaire owners, who are hardly left wing radicals. Your racist statements are well documented and clear, so don't pretend this is a vendetta against "conservatism." Then there's the issue of your drug abuse. . .

Oh, and about destroying "conservatism?" You're doing a reasonably good job of that yourself, Drugster. And we wouldn't want to stand in the way of that worthy task.

(photo: Limpalls announcing the formation of a regional football team, the Red State Swine, following his rejection as part-owner of the St. Louis Rams)

Tippy Toe, Tippy Toe

"All this stuff is the mainstreaming of Rush Limbaugh from off this far-right fringe they've tried to put me. I just keep tiptoeing into the mainstream. And it just irritates them." -- Never- gonna- be- NFL- owner Pills Limpballs, in an interview with NBC recently about the opposition to his bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. Hmmm "...[F]ar right fringe they've tried to put me?" "Mainstreaming?" Pills is more delusional than we thought if he thinks he's within a light-year of the "mainstream" in America. And who's put him in the far-right fringe more firmly than John Wayne Gacy Limpballs himself? What kind of mind-altering shit is Limpballs on now? Someone, call his doctor!

(Image: Limpballs attempting to "tip toe")

Quote of the Day

"They don't want a swine owning a Ram." -- Sports writer Dave Zirin, on MSNBC's Morning Meeting, referring to the NFL Players Association's opposition to Pills Limpballs wanting part ownership of the St. Louis Rams.

Zirin also mentioned that NFL owners were concerned about Limpballs' past racist statements about African Americans, as well as his "extracurricular" pharmaceutical history. (Alas, no mention of him winning the John Wayne Gacy look alike contest a while ago).

Why Does Limpballs Side With the Taliban?

It's because of President Obama, of course. Hate radio talk host Pills Limpballs on the President's selection to receive the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize:

"Something has happened here that we all agree with the Taliban and Iran about and that is he doesn't deserve the award."

Country First! (Except when a black man is elected President).

Boo Yah!

(photo: Limpballs won the John Wayne Gacy look alike contest a few years ago)

You Won't See This On Network News

That's because Pills Limpballs seems to be off-limits for analysis as an instigator of potential white on black violence. Several days ago, the Drugster featured a story on his hate radio program about a white kid that was roughed up by several black kids in Bellevue, IL. The police stated that race was not involved as a motive in the tussle, but Pills knows better. "We need segregated buses," Pills raged, because this is what whites kids can expect in "Obama's America." Not known is whether Pills was high on Oxycontin or airplane glue at the time of the rant, but he got the attention of some neo-Nazi thugs calling themselves the "National Socialist Movement" who proceeded to organize a march in Bellevue for "white civil rights" and to shout racist slogans.

Pills seems immune from criticism by the "journalists" on CNN and the major networks, who marvel at his audience of dittoheads and figure that he must be on to something in "America's heartland." At a recent appearance on the Leno show, Pills yukked it up with Leno about their diets and general nonsense. Maybe it will take a dittohead's violent action to put the focus on the source of the malevolence, but it hasn't happened yet.