Look Who The Rethuglicans Have Running For Office Now

Exhibits 956 and 957 in our continuing case that the Rethuglican Party is the party of nuts, dimbulbs and bigots: "Pastor" Terry "Yosemite Sam" Jones (of Quran burning infamy) is running for the Rethuglican presidential nomination; and Orly "Taint" Taitz (the birther queen herself) is running for U.S. Senate in California as a Rethug.

One, two, three... bwahahahahaha!

No Orly Arguments Will Be Heard

The Supreme Court has upheld the ruling by a lower Federal court that birther diva Orly "Taint" Taitz must pay $20,000 in costs for filing "frivolous" lawsuits aimed at denying President Obama's citizenship. The nutty Taint has been on her mission ever since the President was sworn in, trying to spread her delusion that Obama is a secret commie "Mooslim" Kenyan (notwithstanding his Hawaii Certificate of Live Birth, and the August 1961 birth announcement in the Honolulu daily newspaper -- d'oh!). Clearly, a time machine was used.

Apparently, Taint remains defiant, and vows to fight on (snicker snicker). We think her tinfoil hat needs to be adjusted.

Is It "Orly" or "Orally"?

Birther queen and raving lunatic Orly "Taint" Taitz was apparently gettin' some action on the side from one of her (disbarred) attorneys, Charles "Definitely Not Abe" Lincoln III, according to an affidavit filed in Federal district court documents. Taint, who is married, is alleged to have an ongoing affair with Not Abe Lincoln, as they moved forward with their bizarre and fraudulent case that the President was born in Kenya.

Not Abe Lincoln detailed his opinion of Taint's, um, "attributes" in the sack, according to a conversation with birther nut Lucas Smith, who stayed at Not Abe's house and was present when the nasty acts occurred. We earnestly hope that this will unfold further, opening up new career opportunities for Taint as an adult film star.

(photo: Orly gives us that come hither look)

Judge to Birther Queen: Pay Up

U.S. District Judge Clay Land is fed up with birther queen Orly "My Ass is Sorely" Taitz's nonsensical challenges to President Obama's legitimacy as a U.S. citizen. Fining her $20,000 for misconduct, Judge Land wrote: "When a lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law, that lawyer ceases to advance her cause or the ends of justice."

Hopefully, "Ass" will refuse to pay, and, following the voices in her head, will carry on her birther crusade forward into additional State and Federal Courts. . .

(photo: dialing up the crazy)

Birthers Find Smoking Gun, Shoot Selves

Birther uber-crank Orly "Taint" Taitz has found the true Obama birf certificate from Kenya! Yes, it's true! At least in her "mind." Unfortunately, the thing doesn't pass the sniff, geographic or historical accuracy tests. But the Russian-born Taint is... um... forging ahead, telling World Nut Daily, "I'm forcing the issue, where Obama will have to respond."

Oh, yes. We're sure President Obama has you on his radar screen. He tracks all the demands of crackpots, loons, tea baggers and racists in order to promptly respond to their legitimate concerns. Nonetheless, the response we would suggest would be, "Please take your smoking gun and eat it!"

(Photo: Orly "Taint" Taitz with her smoking gun)