Today's Dispatches From The Stupid Party - The Gloom And Doom Sets In (UPDATED)

There are several dispatches to relay this morning (please have your popcorn buttered and ready!):

-- Neo- fascist fartbag Donald "Rump" Trump has a "very special guest" who'll be (we all presume) making an endorsement today* in Iowa =cough=sneeze= Snowbilly Grifter Sarah Palin =cough=.   Just the thought of it is causing some pearl- clutching on the right.

-- The looming inevitability of either a Rump or Sen. "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz nomination is driving "establishment" Republican hacks into heavy palpitations.  Driftglass covers David Bobo Brooks' cri de coeur:

[Brooks] The idea that most women, independents or mainstream order-craving suburbanites would back a guy who declares his admiration for Vladimir Putin is a mirage. The idea that the G.O.P. can march into the 21st century intentionally alienating every person of color is borderline insane.

Worse is the prospect that one of them might somehow win...

[Driftglass] Shorter David Brooks: Oh my holy stars and bars! When did the Republican Party fill up with all these... Republicans!

While over at the once great Washington Post Bezos Bugle, former Dumbya hack Michael "Mushroom Cloud" Gerson despairs for the future of the party:

For Republicans, the only good outcome of Trump vs. Cruz is for both to lose. The future of the party as the carrier of a humane, inclusive conservatism now depends on some viable choice beyond them. 

For the response to which, we must crib Driftglass' shorter, above, for "Mushroom Cloud's" detached- from- reality vision:

 Oh my holy stars and bars!  When did the Republican Party fill up with all these... Republicans!

-- Meanwhile, desperate, professional Republican ratf*ckers like Karl "Turdblossom" Rove are busy trying to damage Hillary Clinton by (such geniuses!) boosting Sen. Bernie Sanders:

Sean Spicer, the chief strategist and spokesman for the RNC, spent much of the evening tweeting Sanders-friendly commentary on the debate, often with the pro-Sanders hashtag #FeelTheBern. At one point, Spicer gently chided Sanders for what he deemed a poor response to a question and added, “come on we are trying to help u.”

After the debate, the Republican political action committee America Rising promoted the narrative that Sanders won the debate. “Clinton needed a win last night. Instead, everyone is talking about how well Bernie Sanders, her chief rival, did,” spokesman Jeff Bechdel wrote to reporters.

Meanwhile, American Crossroads, a group co-founded by Karl Rove, is airing an ad in Iowa bolstering a core tenet of Sanders’s case against Clinton: that she has received large sums of campaign contributions from Wall Street, and therefore can't be trusted to crack down on big banks.

When your party and its candidates for President are toxic disaster zones, ratf*cking and laughable diversions about the best you can hope to do.

* UPDATE:  Well, it's official - Tweedledumb is endorsed by, well, Tweedledumber:

Just in: Politician turned reality show star endorses reality show star turned politician.

— Ari Melber (@AriMelber) January 19, 2016

UPDATE 2:  As our Silver Spring Bureau Chief notes in the comments, Mama Grizzly's son Trek Trap Turd Track was arrested on assault and domestic violence charges last night.  What a great American family!

UPDATE 3:  And who's to blame for Trash Trek Turd Track's domestic violence and general Palin-style assholery?  Why, President Obama, of course!