Sunday, February 21, 2016

Marco Roboto Declared A Winner! (By Beltway Media)


As widely predicted, the Republican "establishment" wired Beltway media were quick to declare lightweight, easily panicked gusano Sen. Marco "Roboto" Rubio (R-Mattel) a "winner" for his second- place showing in the South Carolina Republican primary yesterday. A few examples.

Here's purveyor of Beltway nostrums Chris "Lizard" Cillizza, who practices in the school of politics- is- a- horse- race (and he's the horse's ass - rimshot!), on his favorite pony in the once great Washington Post Bezos Bugle today:
Marco Rubio: The Florida senator got what he needed tonight: a clear signal that he is the establishment candidate who can win. Bush getting out of the race opens up a massive amount of major donor money for Rubio. Beating Ted Cruz was likely just icing on the cake. Rubio should be well positioned to do well in Nevada in three days' time — a showing that will solidify him as the clear alternative to Trump. This was, without question, Rubio's best night of the race — and the one that makes clear that he is in the race to stay and, maybe, to win(our emphasis)
Well, he had a great night if by "great" you mean finishing 73,970 votes behind Donald "Rump" Trump and ending up with 0 (nada) delegates compared with Rump winning all 50 at stake!  Keep pumping air into that balloon, Lizzard!  Hey, he beat one of Lizzard's "losers" "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz by a little over 1,000 votes!  Landslide!

Example two is in the form of a Freudian slip uttered by Chuck "Not My Job" Todd (h/t Crooks & Liars):



Look, we get it.  The CW is that eventually the race will boil down to a face off between Rump and either young Marco or "Tailgunner Ted."  At least that's the CW until people realize Rump has gathered a large plurality of the delegates in the Rump- favorable primaries coming up, while the other two divide up the not- Rump vote (with Kasich maybe winning some in the Midwest).

Unfortunately, the corporate media's desire to have its long- cherished narrative of young Marco Roboto, man of the 21st Century, facing either "yesterday's news" Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders is so unshakable that, regardless of facts (Marco Roboto has a grand total of 10 delegates after 3 contests;  Rump has 67), he will be deemed a "winner" just by showing up and competing, as Bob Schooley amply illustrates here:


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