Monday, April 18, 2016

Tailgunner Ted's Dildo Policy Explained



The illustrious Mother Jones magazine published a story recently about smarmy theocrat Sen. "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz (Jebus - Canada) fighting a ridiculous battle as Texas' solicitor general defending a state law against the sale of sex toys. A memorable line from his defense of the idiotic law was that there was "no right to stimulate one's genitals." Widespread mockery and ridicule ensued, notably including the Tailgunner's freshman roommate at Princeton.

Now, the Tailgunner is facing...uh...penetrating questions about his role in defending the "no dildos" law in Texas, including this exchange on New York City's WABC radio:
Cruz, asked by WABC radio host Curtis Sliwa if he would ban "the sale of sexual toys, dildos, or anything that sexually stimulates you," answered that he would not.

"Look, of course not, it's a ridiculous question, and of course not," Cruz told Sliwa on Friday. "What people do in their own private time with themselves is their own business and it's none of government's business." 
Hmmm. "What people do in their own private time with themselves is their own business..."  That sounds like those "New York values," Tailgunner Ted. It sort of goes against the grain of your extreme, faux-Christian theocratic views against marriage equality, women's reproductive rights, etc., that you would impose on others as < gack > President. Besides, if sex toys were banned by a Tailgunner administration, what would Ms. Cruz do for "stimulation?"

BONUS:  We like this as a possible Tailgunner Ted campaign slogan:


(photo:  A face that only a blow-up sex doll would love)

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