Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Decider's Diary

The Decider is standing alone. It's my 6th State of the Union and my poll numbers are getting almost as low as Dead Eye Dick's. Changing the subject from Iraq didn't work. Forget about the Democrats - I know they'll reject my "hand across the aisle" (that finger across the aisle that we Republicans used to flash didn't work out so well in the end). No! It's my own people that are turning on me now.

My base is mad because I want to give amnesty to illegal immigrants.

They don't like my new health insurance proposals because it would raise, um, you know, the "t" word...heh-heh.

They don't like my calling for more reliance on alternative energy instead of drilling the bejesus out of our fair (and balanced...heh-heh) land. I save the world from global warming moments after I discover it, and Al Gore gets the Oscar nomination!

And Iraq. First Hagel, then Smith, then Warner and a whole bunch more. Even Man-Tan Boehner wants to put me on a tight leash! Where was he four years ago? (Oh, yeah - flashing the finger across the aisle...) I saw Joe Lieberman there, but I avoided him 'cause I think he wanted to give me another sloppy kiss this time.

Meanwhile, Scooter Libby's attorney is saying Scooter was set up to take the fall for Turd Blossom! Shee - it!

A fellah does't know who's gonna sneak up and stab him in the back anymore... oh, excuse me... gotta go. Didn't hear you come up behind me! (Laura's here - she must want me to help her carve something up...)

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