Still Wanted: War Czar!

It's Day 13 and counting since the White House let it slip that the Bush Assministration was looking for an Iraq/Afghanistan "war czar" to function as, er, Commander-in-Chief. To date, 5 generals and an assorted number of chimneysweeps, sanitary engineers and chicken pluckers have declined the job. Even this guy wanted to make a go at it, but he's too... two-dimensional. So we'd like to help the process along by suggesting an eminently qualified multi-dimensional Bushie, who may soon need employment: none other than 'Berto Gonzales! Think about it - with his executive abilities, his mastery of legal issues relating to detainees and, most importantly, his unquestioning loyalty to the Preznit, 'Berto would be the ideal fit! Remember you saw it here first - Czar 'Berto the Forgetful!