Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What Is A Republican?

We are pausing in our inexorable pursuit of the nimrods and poindexters who generally occupy the "trees" of the wingnut world to observe the "forest" -- that is, to ask the fundamental question,what is a Republican? We want to state in no uncertain terms that what follows is not meant to impugn the good people who find it somehow necessary to vote Republican. In fact, we have family members and friends who unfortunately vote Republican. Rather, we are attempting to sketch the party in terms of its leadership, philosophy and behavior patterns, in the objective "we report, you decide" manner we so admire.

A summary of several issue areas (Iraq, fiscal policy, immigration, and "values") should help provide a picture, in a broad but necessarily limited sense, of what it means to be a Republican. Please be forewarned, it's not a pretty picture.


Leadership:Neoconservatives, sometimes known as "chickenhawks" for their willingness to send others into harm's way when they themselves never faced combat (Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Feith, nearly all of the wingnut media and blogosphere).
Predominant philosophy:Unilateralist interventionist; establish "democracy" in the Middle East; deemphasize diplomacy, especially with states you consider "the enemy."
Behavior pattern:Ready-shoot-aim; naive; lack of historical and cultural perspective and awareness; cherry pickers (facts must fit preconceived notions to be useful).

Fiscal (tax) policy

Leadership:Wall Street/country club wing of the party; Bush, Cheney, supply side/voodoo economics remnants.
Predominant philosophy:Tax cuts for the wealthy, even in time of war; trickle down; "deficits don't matter" - Dead Eye Dick.
Behavior pattern:Unprecedented redistribution of wealth since 2000; no sacrifice asked in time of war (except giving up "peace of mind"); "Never has so much been done for so few who need so little;" cry "class warfare!" if Democrats bring up any of these points.


Leadership:Bush and business groups vs. Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO), Bill O'Really?, Lou Dobbs.
Predominant philosophy:A divided party, the Bush wing wanting to secure borders with guest worker program, and the Tancredo wing wanting to secure borders with no "amnesty" in any way, shape or form.
Behavior patterns:Nativists want action now, White House wants to defer action as long as possible to avoid internecine bloodletting; Bush has photo-ops on border, but doesn't put heat on his own party hacks to get in line.


Leadership:The American Taliban (James Dobson, Richard Land, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, "Catholic League," American wing of the Likud party, etc.); Karl Rove, main organizer and cheerleader.
Predominant philosophy:Anti-choice, anti-gay marriage, anti-stem cell research; pro-government intervention in the moral life of the average American; authoritarian; flat-earth thinking predominates.
Behavior patterns:See Mark Foley, Jack Abramoff, Grover Norquist, Bob Ney, Newt Gingrich, Bob Livingston, Rudy Giuliani, Duke Cunningham, Terri Schiavo, Claude Allen, Ralph Reed, etc., etc. Hypocrisy and greed running rampant; "do as we say, not as we do;" divide, divide, divide; waiting for the Rapture.

Well, there it is, in a "nut"shell, so to speak. We warned you it wouldn't be pretty...

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