Monday, January 17, 2011

America the Bellyful


Having recently returned from an all-too-brief visit to warmer climes (thank you Hackwhackers team for allowing me to leave the glass-and-steel Hackwhackers Headquarters in downtown Washington for a well-deserved break!), I feel I need to make one critical observation based on my travels: Americans are grossly overweight. Perhaps this isn't as much of a revelation to you as it was to me -- experiencing not just overweight, but obese people everywhere I went. Most seemed to be in my boomer g-g-generation, give or take a generation. Some were so overweight that they had to be transported everywhere by means of motorized scooter, airport tramcar, etc. Most looked like they were carrying provisions for a long winter around their midsections.

I realize some of this is genetic or based on a medical condition, and I'm sympathetic. But, to be real, I have to believe that much, if not most of it, is based on habit and pure gluttony. (I suddenly have a new-found interest in Michelle Obama's effort to fight childhood obesity, "Let's Move.") To wit, I've penned this version of "America the Beautiful," more in sorrow than in jest:
Oh bellyful in spacious pants
And ample waves of weight!
For ice cream mountains majesty
Above all, fruit-less plates!
America, America! God, shed some tons will thee?!
Don't cram thy food
Lest it protrude
From cheek to bulbous cheek!

Full disclosure: I gained six pounds while I was off, so I'm going on my "twigs and berries" diet now (not those "twigs and berries" my UK friends!).

(Image: Anonymous blogger -- not me.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another celebrity nude on Hackwhackers !

We were titillated by Kim Jong Il back in September.

Now - Haystacks Calhoun !

W. Hackwhacker said...

"The more the merrier, the bigger the better!" Apparently, Haystacks' overalls were in the crick bein' washed!