Letters We Wish We'd Written Dept.

A while ago, the Sultan of Smug, George "Quill" Will, wrote an op/ed in the Kaplan Daily using a baseball analogy to whine that President Obama (as "Alibi Ike") was blaming the economy's woes on Dumbya's Rethuglican administration (as do most Americans, by the way). Here's a letter to the editor in response to the shitstick that we wish we'd written:

"I don't know what baseball game George F. Will was watching ['The race to take on Alibi Ike,' op-ed, July 7], but to make his analogy of challenging President Obama's record a bit more realistic, imagine relief pitcher Obama's team is down by a historic 13-0 in the fourth inning, the bases are loaded, and there are no outs. Mr. Obama comes in, picks a runner off first base and proceeds to strike out the next two batters.

As Mr. Obama trots off the field, Mr. Will is in the stands booing loudly, calling Mr. Obama a bum and berating him because his team is 'still losing.' If Mr. Obama bothers to explain that he just pitched out of a very difficult jam and that it could take a few more innings to come back from a 13-run deficit, Mr. Will rolls his eyes and refers to him as another 'Alibi Ike.' -- Bob Hirshon, Takoma Park"