With Iowa's Rethuglican caucus results in, the good news is that the Rethuglican / New Confederate Party is deeply divided and in turmoil. One-percenter candidate and human weather vane Willard "Mittens" Romney won by a smashing 8 votes over beady-eyed theocon Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum, with Ron "Race War" Paul picking up third place. In a state where Mittens spent an estimated $18 million in TV and radio smear jobs vs. Frothy's couple hundred thousand dollars, the real victor would appear to be the Frothy One, who surged in the last week. Put another way, over 75% of Iowa Rethuglicans don't want "Landslide" Mittens as their nominee. That's trouble for "Landslide" Mittens.
By virtue of his nasty ads aimed at fourth-place finisher Poot Gingrich, Mittens also has gained an implacable, articulate enemy who will go into New Hampshire and South Carolina like an angry mongoose with the purpose of tearing Mittens a new one. Fun viewing, to be sure. Sadly, for entertainment purposes, the caucus results will apparently mean the suspension of Rick "Oops" Perry's and Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann's campaigns, since they finished a poor 5th and 6th respectively. We'll miss Oops' comical debate performances and Crazy Eyes' wild conspiracy theories, but trust that the remaining candidates will fill the lunatic gap quite nicely.
UPDATE I: Crazy Eyes Bachmann quits. Oops Perry remains in, and will campaign in South Carolina (will he attack Ft. Sumter?)
UPDATE II: Driftglass bids farewell to Crazy Eyes thusly: "Farewell to the finest collection of crackpot ideas, bald faced lies and Ninja Romulan ensembles in American presidential politics." LOL.
(image: Your average gun-toting, Bible-thumping Iowa Rethuglican the morning after carefully casting his vote)
No comments:
Post a Comment