Mighty Mittens Mojo

Humanoid replica and tree height expert Willard "Mighty Mittens" Romney won both Rethug primaries in Michigan and Arizona yesterday, regaining some momentum lost in the past couple of weeks. His solid win in Arizona was not a surprise. However, his narrow victory in his "home" state of Michigan was by 3 percent, after leading his nearest rival by double digits three weeks ago. Weird Willard was apparently aided by absentee early voters and by Dems and independents who sat on their hands, rather than vote for the weaker Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum (ed. note: will the Dems show the same lack of smarts / passion in November?). Weird Willard's next test will be next Tuesday, "Super Tuesday," with primaries throughout the South and in key states like Ohio. As progressives who want to see the Dems win in November, we say "Go, Rick, Go!"