Rethug holy roller and uterus cop Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum unexpectedly swept primaries in Alabama and Mississippi yesterday. Open marriage advocate and legend-in-his-own-mind Poot Gingrich placed second in both states, while 3 dollar bill and human replica Willard "Hi Y'all" Romney placed a weak third. Polls had been showing Poot in the lead in Alabama, and weird Willard pulling ahead in Mississippi, but the results turned those polls on their heads. It also severely embarrassed Hi Y'all, who had predicted on Monday that he would win the contests.
With Frothy Mix and Poot splitting the far right secessionist vote, there will be calls for Poot to suspend his campaign having only won South Carolina and Georgia. The most telling statistic of the night was that 70% of the voters voted against weird Willard, despite his "cheesy grits" and "y'all" phoniness and his "inevitability." As we've said before, let the clown show continue.
