skip to main |
skip to sidebar
The Onion's Tips for Passing Gun Control Legislation
The Onion
calls it (language warning):
- Write gun control legislation. Pass gun control legislation.
- Before
voting on gun control bill, try, if you can, to remember any recent
examples in which guns have been used to kill innocent people.
- Acknowledge that it’s going to be hard to buck the pressure of the high-powered gun lobby, but not that fucking hard, dumbass.
- Consider if overwhelming public support for a particular measure is something you want to be associated with or not.
- Inform your decision by researching whether guns are good or bad when placed in the wrong hands.
- Muster
everything that’s left in your black, desiccated heart to do something
that might actually be of service to someone other than yourself.
- Carefully
assess the other side of the argument wherein mentally unstable people
can buy weapons at a gun show with no problem whatsoever, and then
realize there is no other side of this argument.
- Put on your
stupid little suit, run a comb through your greasy hair, go to the U.S
Capitol building, pick up your fancy little gold pen, and pass a fucking
gun control bill.
(h/t Washington, DC, bureau chief Brian, returning from a long hiatus.)