Today's Dispatches From The Stupid Party - Government Shutdown Edition

This Very Special Three-Part Episode of "...Dispatches..." is brought to you by every furloughed government employee, their families, creditors, and businesses dependent on the employees' receiving, you know, a salary.

Part I -  The Prideful Yet Confused:

"We're not going to be disrespected," Rep. Marlin Stutzman (R-Ind.) told The Washington Examiner. "We have to get something out of this.  And I don't know what that even is."   (our emphasis)

A hard kick in the ass or punch in the mouth would be what we'd like you to get out of it, Snarlin' Marlin, but we'd settle for an early retirement.

Part II -  The Confused Yet Nasty:

But Mark Segraves, reporting for NBC News' Washington affiliate, managed to capture the howler highlight of the Great World War II Memorial Bleat-n-Repeat -- Rep. Randy Neugebauer's (R-Tex.) Wednesday confrontation of a poor park ranger on the scene -- who was doing nothing more than her job -- blaming her for the closure he voted for and telling her that she should be ashamed of herself.  (our emphasis)

No, no, no, Noogie.  It wasn't the poor lady Park Ranger who shut the memorial down.  Walk a few hundred yards over to the Reflecting Pool and look into it's waters and you'll see who's responsible, you dumbass.

Part III - And Last, The Cowardly:

“Listen,” [Rep. Greg]Walden [R-OR] said, according to several people present. “We have to do this because of the Tea Party. If we don’t, these guys are going to get primaried and they are going to lose their primary.”  (our emphasis)

Capitol Police are still looking for Rep. Walden's nutsack, which was recently reported missing.

Isn't this a proud moment in American democracy?!