Texas Governor and future Just For Men spokesmodel Rick "Oops" Perry (R- Secessionland) is finishing up his final several months in office. His run for the Rethug nomination in 2012 failed miserably when he exposed himself as a cocky doofus who couldn't remember which three Federal agencies he would close. Recently, he's been making the rounds at right-wing events and signaling that he's strongly considering another run for President in 2016 (he's even added horn-rimmed glasses to his wardrobe to appear smarter).
But Oops' intellectual shortcomings may not be the biggest hurdle (especially in the Stupid Party): a grand jury is now considering whether Oops abused the power of his office in vetoing funding for the state's Public Integrity Office which investigates official corruption. The jury will operate for three months, and Oops is being represented by a top defense lawyer who charges $450 per hour (all paid for by the citizens of Texas).
(photo: Oops demonstrating he can now count to two)
