When nutzoid, immigrant-bashing Rep. Steve "Cantaloupe Calves" King announced a wingnut fest in his home state of Iowa, the 2016 Rethuglican hopefuls and hangers-on couldn't wait to get there and let their bible-totin', gun fondlin', immigrant-hatin' freak flag fly. Even increasingly unpopular New Jersey Governor and man with his own gravitational field Chris "Krispykreme" Christie was there to make conservative noises in his best bully voice. While plutocrats Willard "Lord Mittens" Romney and John Ellis "J.E.B." Bush declined to mix with the angry rabble, the dozen or so potential candidates from theocratic hacks Sen. Ted "Tailgunner" Cruz who imitated an itinerant preacher, Mike Hucksterbee, and Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum to ethically-challenged Governors Scott "Koch Head" Walker and Rick "Oops" Perry were there to spout varying degrees of nonsense and outright falsehoods to the low-information / high motivation crowd, who ate it up like corn dogs.
Not to be outdone, and since grifters gotta grift, snowbilly airhead Sarah "Winky" Palin plugged in her word salad shooter and put on her snarling face to attack everyone from the President to Hollywood. Her subscription-only internet "show" must be floundering. And speaking of floundering, legacy millionaire and today's P.T. Barnum Donald "Rump" Trump was there to assure the audience, as only he could, that he would have won in 2012 and that Lord Mittens and "J.E.B." were losers. Finally, speaking of losers, the never-gonna-be-President crowd had failed former HP CEO Carly "Snarly" Fiorina and goofy former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben "Ben Operating On Himself" Carson there for additional comedic value.
To paraphrase the line in "Jaws," there're going to need a bigger clown car.
BONUS: Palin's word salad shooting was kicked up a notch when her teleprompter froze (remember when numbnut Palin implied President Obama couldn't function without his teleprompter? LOL):
Republican firebrand Sarah Palin is rarely at a loss for words but became unmoored on Saturday in Iowa after her teleprompter froze and left her without portions of her prepared speech.
The 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee flipped through a binder of notes and strung together a series of one-liners – and some of them made little sense.
