Free Community College A "Plot To Make Americans Smarter!"

Yesterday, the President announced a plan to provide two years of community college tuition-free for anyone who enrolls at least part-time and maintains a 2.5 grade point average.  The plan would build on existing programs in Tennessee and Chicago.

Here's how humorist Andy Borowitz imagines the Republican response:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Obama’s plan to offer Americans two years of college for free has come under fire from congressional Republicans, who are calling it a blatant plot to make Americans smarter.

The G.O.P., which has benefited from the support of so-called “low-information voters” in recent years, accused Obama of cynically trying to make people smarter as a way of chipping away at the Republican base. 

“You take low-information voters and give them information, and pretty soon they’re Democrats,” Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) said. 

House Speaker John Boehner said that “forcing knowledge into people” was “flagrantly un-American,” adding, “We make this promise to the American people: if you like your brains, you can keep your brains.”

Those dastardly Democrats!  We're sure Fox "News" will be telling us about death panels "final" exams soon. Mwahahaha, yes, very final.