Talibangelists Say "No" to J.E.B.

Key members of the evangelical right-wing are considering uniting behind one Rethuglican candidate who will hold the line on marriage equality, immigration, and women's reproductive rights, in order to stop plutocrat favorite and House of Bush candidate John Ellis ("J.E.B.") Bush from getting the nomination inn 2016.  Names mentioned as a unifying candidate for the talibangelists are Sen. Ted "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz, Gov. Piyush "Bobby" Jindal, Mike "Hucksterbee" Huckabee, and Rick "Oops" Perry, none of whom would be actually viable in a general election.  This "strategy" reflects the bizarre notion on the far-right that previous losing Rethug candidates for President weren't "conservative enough", when in fact the right-wing positions they ran on were broadly unpopular, from marriage equality to women's reproductive rights.  But we say, have at it and may the best woman win.