Last night's double event Rethuglican poo-fling wasn't particularly surprising in that bloviating egomaniac Donald "Rump" Trump was the target of some especially hostile questioning by
Most of the rest of the clowns on stage tried to stick to their pre-digested talking points (unseasoned Sen. Marco "Glug Glug" Rubio and House of Bush scion John Ellis "J.E.B.!" Bush stood out in that regard). While Sen. Dudebro'Rand Paul and failed New Jersey Gov. Chris "Krispykreme" Christie mixed it up over Federal wiretapping and anti-terrorism issues, clueless Wisconsin Gov. Scott "Koch Head" Walker said he wouldn't allow an abortion even if the mother's life was at stake. Nutty neurosurgeon Ben "On Meds?" Carson faded into the background at one point saying that he wasn't sure where he'd get to talk more. Theocrat and girls shower fantasizer Mike "Huckster" Huckabee launched a predictable homily on Planned Parenthood and the Supreme Court ("not the Supreme Being"), while Rump fan and Joe McCarthy doppenganger Ted "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz mouthed some far-right platitudes in his smarmy style.
The earlier "kid's table" debate among the seven also-rans was noteworthy only due to Carly "Snarly Carly" Fiorina's emergence as a more articulate, female version of Rump, her face set in cold rage, smearing Hillary Clinton as a "liar" several times, with no elaboration. It was no surprise then that the Clinton-hating Beltway political press corps swooned over Snarly Carly's performance. The other six? Meh, nothing to see here.
BONUS: Comedian Patton Oswalt summed up the proceedings nicely:
"That concludes our debate! Please welcome the Koch Brothers who will choose an ideological broodmare from our whore-stable!" #GOPDebate
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 7, 2015
