On the Republican/ New Confederate/ Stupid/ Shooter's Party side, neo- fascist bag o' farts Donald "Rump" Trump coasted to a double- digit victory, garnering 35 percent of the vote; Gov. John "Head" Kasich, Sen. "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz, J.E.B.! Bush and [musical flourish] the easily rattled marionette Sen. Marco "Glug Glug" Rubio picked up the, um, rear. In his concession speech, Glug Glug said "[Insert robotic phrase repetition joke here.]"
Steve Benen wrapped up the dilemma in which Rump's win puts his party of xenophobic yahoos and cretins:
The vote tally isn't quite finished, but as things stand, the New York developer is on track to prevail with a margin of victory of 19 points, which is the largest for a non-incumbent Republican since Reagan's 1980 win over three decades ago.
In the wake of the Iowa caucuses, in which Trump finished second, the conventional wisdom said the setback put the candidate on a trajectory towards inevitable failure: the Trump bubble had been pierced, the paper tiger had been exposed, and some degree of normalcy had been restored in the nominating fight.
No one is saying that anymore. On the contrary, chaos now reigns.Back on the Democratic side, we have the rather more enviable prospect of two candidates who realize the stakes involved and are pushing in the same direction. As Sen. Sanders noted in his victory speech,
"We will need to come together in a few months and unite this party, and this nation because the right-wing Republicans we oppose must not be allowed to gain the presidency."Secretary Clinton, in her concession speech, spoke of the issues fueling both hers and Sanders' campaigns: Wall Street reform, campaign finance reform, income inequality, stressing that there's more that binds than separates the Democratic contenders.
All in all, it's so much better to be a Democrat than a Republican, now more than ever.
UPDATE: The guy who filleted Glug Glug, Gov. Chris "Krispykreme" Christie, is reportedly going back to New Jersey for the metaphorical "a change of clothes."
UPDATE II: Job destroyer and serial liar "Snarly" Carly Fiorina's calling it quits, too. Buh bye.