Now that Mike "Dense" Pence is the V.P. selection for neo-fascist Donald "Rump" Trump's ticket, one of the most forlorn people has to be his former valet, absentee New Jersey Governor Chris "Krispykreme" Christie. Krispykreme, along with sociopath Newt "Poot" Gingrich, was one of the finalists poised to join Rump's ticket in defeat in November. It was a bad week for the rotund rage gorilla, whose close confidant David Samson, of Port Authority/Bridgegate fame, pled guilty to a shakedown of United Airlines. That may not bode well for Krispykreme, since Samson may have information to shed on the Bridgegate controversy and pay-to-play schemes involving the Governor and his close staff.
Krispykreme, whose approval numbers in New Jersey are heading south, is probably finished politically when his term ends in 2018. Having done everything he could to ingratiate himself with Rump -- including fetching food from McDonald's for him -- and alienating the "establishment" by taking down their beloved robot Sen. Marco "Glug Glug" Rubio in a debate, Krispykreme is praying that Rump will win and appoint him, say, as Attorney General (sort of like a bad cop / bad cop partnership). But the real prize (such as it is) for Krispykreme eluded him, and he was willing to face public humiliation for debasing himself with Rump, as long as he got that "prize." That will sting for a very long time.
BONUS: Andy Borowitz contributes his take on Krispykreme's situation.
BONUS II: Christie's latest gig (h/t Mock Paper Scissors)
* 'the way we were' quietly played on the grand piano in the background * pic.twitter.com/n6bqJwOTWm— darth™ (@darth) July 17, 2016
(photo: "Why didn't you pick me, Mr. Trump? Didn't I deliver those Big Macs fast enough?")
