Dr. Strange Glove

You may recall the oddly bombastic letter issued by neo-fascist blowhard Donald "Rump" Trump's doctor a few months ago, which (in very non-medical prose) proclaimed Rump's health to be simply mahvelous. Strangely, the letter stated that Rump's tests were "positive," meaning that tests for cancer, STDs, etc. indicated he had the disease. "Positive" is something a patient might tell a doctor to say about his health. Initially and tellingly, Rump thanked the doctor's father -- a doctor who died in 2010 -- for the letter, apparently unaware of the difference.

 CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta looked more carefully at the background of Rump's doctor, Dr. Harold Bornstein, and discovered some discrepancies in Bornstein's credentials. Bornstein claimed to be a member of the American College of Gastroenterology, but that organization says he hasn't been a member in 20 years. He also claimed to be part of Lennox Hill Hospital's gastroenterology section, when he only has admitting privileges there. Perhaps examining Rump's nether regions left Bornstein shocked and forgetful.

So, while the Trumpists (notably the organ grinder's monkey Rudy "Noun Verb 9-11" Giuliani) thrash around making false claims about Hillary Clinton's health, comically suggesting that people go to the internet to diagnose her, their corpulent candidate and his doctor have some serious questions to answer first before he and his campaign throw bedpans at others.

UPDATE: Narcoleptic former neurosurgeon and Rump surrogate Dr. Ben "Benny The Blade" Carson is off message, but on target when he said,

"I think somebody who is running for the President of the United States, particularly if they are elderly — and that would include both major candidates — should disclose their medical history." (emphasis added)

(photo: Actual photo of Dr. Harold "Dr. Strange Glove" Bornstein, via Twitter.com. We'll stick with our witch doctor.)