Mittens: The Home Town "Sport" Guy

As we're painfully aware, vulture capitalist and humanoid facsimile Willard "Mittens" Romney is running for the U.S. Senate in his home state of Michigan Massachusetts Colorado California Utah, despite coming in second in delegates at the Utah Rethuglican convention. Wanting to be seen as a "regular guy," Mittens was pretending to be a fan Monday night at a Utah Jazz - Oklahoma City Thunder game in Salt Lake City wearing an oversized Jazz jersey over a blue button down shirt, taunting the Thunder's star Russell Westbrook after he fouled out. Mitten's "sport" loyalties (he always awkwardly refers to "sports" in the singular) change with where ever he parks his shoes at night. With homes in several states, he must have a separate dresser drawer for all of those "home town" jerseys. For the right real estate deal in Oklahoma, Mittens might even put on a Thunder jersey.

(photo: "This doesn't look like a Detroit Pistons jersey...oh wait.")