Monday, August 19, 2019

What, Me Worry About A Recession?


After last week's 800 point plunge in the stock market fueled worries that incompetent sociopath Donald "What, Me Worry?" Trump's trade wars were leading to a recession, Trump and his minions were out pretending it was all fake news. Speaking to a group of reporters as he arrived back in DC from his extended golfing / rage tweeting / binge TV watching time at his Bedminster club, Trump said:
“I don’t think we’re having a recession. We’re doing tremendously well. Our consumers are rich. I gave a tremendous tax cut and they’re loaded up with money.”
It's noteworthy that he pointed to the massive tax giveaway to the one percent -- "our consumers" who are "loaded up with money" -- as his sign that the economy's doing well. Any negative signs that Trump sees are nonsensically blamed on his appointee Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell and the media, rather than markets reacting to the chaos he's created with his tariff and trade policies.

Of course, Trump is rattled by predictions of a recession. The White (Supremacist) House dispatched their flying monkeys out to cable networks over the weekend to knock down forecasts of a recession, which would doom Trump's re-election bid. The most bizarre performance was that of former Fux Network talking head and Trump's economic advisor Larry "Cred Low" Kudlow, who's not actually an economist but played one on TV. Appearing on Fux News Sunday, Kudlow appeared to have had a multiple martini breakfast as he slurred his words while dismissing talk of a recession. It's apparently easier for Cred Low to lie while hammered; with Trump, it comes naturally.