Friday, December 3, 2021

Praise The Lawd And Hide The Money




The mega-church of prosperity gospel preacher Joel Osteen had something discovered in its walls: hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and checks. The discovery was made by a plumber the church hired to fix a loose toilet, and when he had to cut into the bathroom wall, out came the favor from the Lawd:

"The discovery came several years after someone stole $600,000 in cash and checks from a safe at Osteen's Lakewood Church, according to a report from KRPC Channel 2. The station suggested that whoever stole the money in 2014 may have been hidden it in the bathroom wall.

A plumber named Justin, who works for a large contractor, told the station he got a call about a loose toilet at the church on Nov. 10.

'Justin said he started working on the toilet and had to remove the tile and insulation,' the station reports. 'Once he removed the insulation, he discovered about 3,000 envelopes full of checks. Some had cash in it. Justin said he called the church's maintenance supervisor and had to stay at the church for almost seven hours.'"

Strange that a thief would get into the church's safe and hide the loot right there in the walls of the church. Strange indeed that the thief wouldn't remove it to another location. If I were the police, I'd check other walls of that church, and collect some fingerprint samples, starting with the avaricious pastor and his staff.

An interesting and wholly predictable side note from the linked article:

"Justin said the church or HPD never thanked him or reached out to him about $25,000 reward money," the station reported, referring to the reward that was offered following the 2014 theft. "Justin said he even called Crime Stoppers about reward money, but never heard back. He even tried reaching out to Joel Osteen but hasn't heard back." (our emphasis)

You gotta pray hard, Justin, pray hard for that reward! And tithe the church in the meantime. Joel would want it that way.

BONUS:

 

 

(photo: Osteen not explaining how the money got in the wall. Cooper Neill / Getty Images)