Liftgate *

 

 

Well, if it weren't Gov. Ron "Bootsie" DeSantis, brave champion of anti- wokeness/ anti- science/ anti- history/ anti- books, this wouldn't be worth anyone's time. But since it is the tanking DeSantis, we're going to briefly jump into the Liftgate* scandal that's rocking this small man's small and vanishing campaign.  Let's hear the particulars from the experts:

In the last few weeks, posts mocking Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ strangely shaped cowboy boots have racked up millions of views on Twitter and TikTok, with online sleuths trying to determine whether he’s wearing height-boosting insoles to pump himself up against a 6’3” primary frontrunner with a penchant for nicknames who reportedly considered calling DeSantis “Tiny D.” (If the 2001 Yale baseball team roster is to be believed, DeSantis stands at 5’11”.) Posters have sketched over photos of the boots, showing where they think DeSantis’ feet sit inside. “Slay queen,” captioned one TikTok user. Hashtags like “parisfashionweek” and “mallgothfashion” abound. And former President Donald Trump himself even shared one of the posts on Truth Social.  [snip]

Three top experts in the field say the cowboy boot truthers might be onto something.

“I’ve dealt with these politicians many times,” says Zephan Parker, the bespoke bootmaker behind Houston’s popular Parker Boot Company, which, he says, has made height-increasing cowboy boots for a number of Texan politicians. (No, he won’t reveal any names.) “I’ve helped them with their lifts. [DeSantis] is wearing lifts; there’s no doubt.”

For Parker, there are two giveaways. At a DeSantis campaign event in Tampa, a photo was taken of him from his side, showing the governor in his black cowboy boots and navy worsted suit. Traditional Western boots are typically built with an elevated heel, ranging from 1 1/2” to 1 7/8”. DeSantis’ boots have a traditional Western silhouette, but, to Parker, the heels appear shorter. When you stick inserts into cowboy boots, the combination of the height-increasing lifts and the heels can “turn them into five-inch stilettos,” Parker says. “That’s too much for the common man. So on a ready-made boot, they’ll cut down the heel about half an inch to accommodate the lifts, which looks to be what happened here.” (Shaving down the heels does negate some of the height value of having lifts in the first place.)

The other giveaway, Parker says, is the boots’ tops (what most people would recognize as the shaft). Cowboy boots are made to fit snugly; on their website, Tecovas recommends getting boots sized so that you feel a rush of air leave the boot when your heels drop into place. But such a snug fit leaves little room for a wedge-shaped lift, so people who wear lifts often have to size up in width. This increases all the other measurements in tandem, including the circumference of the tops...

Well, that's all the science we need. No need to hear from the other experts, except to display this captioned photo of Bootsie's booties explaining the deception (click on image to enlarge):

Trivial?  Of course.  But so is the man wearing those lifts.  It's helpful in the way it reveals the vanity and phoniness of this small man who sought political power through public displays of cruelty toward the powerless and marginalized. No lifts can ever raise such a person's moral standing or place in history, though.

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* must credit Hackwhackers!

(Photo:  say goodbye, Bootsie! /Brian Olin Dozier, NurPhoto, Shutterstock)