Rethug Crime Blotter

Former Missouri Rethuglican House Speaker Rod "Clod" Jetton was arrested last Monday for allegedly beating his mistress senseless during a rough sex episode. Clod is also believed to have slipped her a dose of the "date drug" Rohypnol. The felony assault carries a seven year and/or $5,000 fine, according to the report in the Kansas City Star.

If Clod wants some rough sex action, let's hope he receives lots of it in prison.

(photo: Clod's police mug shot. And no, we didn't Photoshop it, he really looks like that)

Winky's Most Excellent Op Ed

The villagers at the Kaplan Daily are taking considerable heat for once again publishing a "Sarah Palin" op/ed, this time on the Copenhagen climate change meeting. For someone who can barely string together an adjective, noun and verb to write an analysis of what's at stake at the Copenhagen meeting... er... strains credulity, shall we say. Media Matters did the fact check that the Post editors are too lazy, partisan, stupid (or all three) to do. Moreover, why would the Post give this dimbulb a forum when there are worthy experts who could make a useful contribution but will never see the op/ed page of the Post?

This is how once-great newspapers die.

(Image: via HeyDidYaKnow.com)

Morning Blow

We happened to catch a few minutes of MSNBC's lamest program, "Morning Joe," and saw Rethuglican National Committee chairclown Tin Man Steele holding forth on the Senate's health insurance reform compromise. (Notice how Mika The Sweater fawns over Tin Man; did they teach that in journalism class?) To paraphrase Tin Man, the Dems are moving toooooo fast (President Truman pushed universal health insurance over 60 years ago). Moreover, Tin Man took righteous umbrage at Senate Majority Leader Reid's statement that at times when significant change is needed (abolition of slavery, womens' suffrage, civil rights, etc.), there are always those who want to slow things down.

When panelist Donnie Deutch finally asked Tin Man exactly what was inaccurate about Reid's statement, Tin Man got all "oh no you dint" on Deutch and refused to answer the question. Of course he can't, because it's absolutely true, and Rethugs/conservatives have almost always found themselves on the wrong side in these past struggles. With health insurance reform, their obstuctionism is plain for all to see (New Hampshire Rethug Sen. Judd "Jug Head" Gregg even wrote a memo to his colleagues on procedures, amendments and other stalling tactics to use in the debate).

"Hyp, Hyp, Hypocrisy!"

President Obama addressed the economy - jobs - in his speech at the Brookings Institution today, and left no doubt who the culprits are inhibiting job growth (hint: it's the same ones that got us into the mess we're in). Also, in a one-two hypocrisy punch, HuffPo has a story on the Rethugs' "we were for Medicare yesterday before we were against it today" strategery on fighting the health reform bill.

It's good to see some push-back against these deeply irresponsible, consistently wrong, always hypocritical numbnuts.

Irrelevant vs. Irrelevant

Every few years, Sen. John McAncient actually says something truthful, usually inadvertently. Yesterday, on "Beat the Meat", er that is, "Meet the Press" with Dancin' David Gregory, McAncient criticized those "attacking" his former running mate and snowbilly grifter Winky You Betcha, but went on to say that Winky was "irrelevant." McAncient better change his address and go into some sort of witness protection program, once Winky's rabid followers get wind of his put-down of their goddess.

Curiously, the Beltway media savants are still treating McAncient as if he won the election last year. Last weekend, he appeared on all of the network gas fests to bloviate about the Afghanistan decision, raising the question "why should we care what McAncient thinks?" "Irrelevant": it takes one to know one.

Less Bailout, More Job Stimulus?

The financial system bailout is soaking up less taxpayer dollars than originally anticipated - about $200 billion less. That according to a Treasury department official who cites faster repayment and lower spending by the bailed-out institutions as reasons for the unexpected funds availability. The funds are now potentially available for reprogramming by Congress for an enhanced job stimulus effort, barring an effort by Rethugs to derail it for "deficit reduction" (their holy grail, now that they're not in power to create trillion dollar deficits themselves). Let's hope the Dems get it done, because as Speaker Pelosi says, a jobs creation program is the best deficit reduction program.

Richly Deserved

A new poll from Rasmussen indicates that in a hypothetical Congressional match-up, a generic candidate representing the teabaggers would beat the generic Rethug candidate 23% to 18%, with the Dem candidate beating both with 36%. The Rethug establishment has been desperately trying to promote anti-Obama "tea parties" and to co-opt the teabaggers -- largely a mix of nativists, anti-government activists, racists, and low information "morans" -- and keep them in the shrinking Rethuglican political tent. Looks like, for now, their cynical efforts are being spurned by the baggers. To which we can only say, it's so richly deserved.

Dumbass of the Week

Winky You Betcha's fans were out in full force in Fairfax, Virginia yesterday, at another of the quitter's book signing events. One "fan," a Mr. Williams, had this to say about why he likes Winky:

"We're average people. We work Monday through Friday to pay our bills and put food on our tables. That's who she is."

Hmmm. Let's test Mr. Williams' analysis here to see the similarities:

-- Winky has a multi-million dollar book deal - nothing in common there;
-- Winky flies around in a corporate jet, then boards a custom bus for her book signing events - nothing in common there;
-- Winky charges $16 per photograph with her adoring sheeple - nothing in common there;
-- Winky charges in the six figures for appearances, even at state Rethug events - nothing in common there;
-- Winky quit her job as Alaska governor so she could "cash in" via all of the above, unencumbered - nothing in common there;
-- Winky's a moron - Yes!! At last we've found what Mr. Williams and Winky have in common!!

Bad Max

In the same way he insists on bipartisanship in the Senate, Dem. Senator Max "Bad Max" Baucus apparently wants to show his Rethug colleagues that he can be as naughty as they are when it comes to shenanigans with the staff. His nomination of his girlfriend, Melodee Hanes, to be U.S. attorney has raised questions about favoritism on Bad Max's part. Hanes, Bad Max's former state director, ended up taking another job offer instead. She worked for the Senator since 2002, and has been dating Bad Max since the summer of 2008, a few months after he separated from his wife (whom he later divorced). While it doesn't nearly approach the sliminess of Rethug Sen. Don Juan Ensign's affair with his staff member / best friend's wife (and subsequent payment of hush money), it's a reminder that often the political elite don't believe the rules apply to them.

(photo: Bad Max, keeping it bipartisan)

Your Caring Corporation: Aetna

Health insurance giant Aetna has announced that it's raising premiums in 2010, resulting in an estimated 650,000 people forced off its client rolls. The reason? Lower than anticipated profits. Corporate jets becoming more expensive, is that it?

What better justification for a strong public option to pressure these robbers to hold the line on price increases (and denial of coverage, for that matter)?

High Broderism as Conventional Wisdom

"It is now as certain as anything can be in politics that 2010 will be a painful year for Democrats -- a year of high unemployment, staggering deficits and a growing list of casualties from an unresolved war." -- Dean of Washington Gasbags David "Broderella" Broder in today's Kaplan Daily. Certain?!? It's 11 months until election day 2010. If events change and change again as they have in the last 11 months, at the beginning of which Democrats were riding very high indeed, who's to say with certainty what the political landscape will be? Only the most lazy gasbag who gets his deep thoughts over lunch paid by a Rethug spinmeister, that's who. I'm cutting this op/ed out for revisiting ll months from now.

(Image: The Dean of Gasbags, aloft)

Half Moon Times

According to this report, Washington's right-wing rag The Washington (Moonie) Times is laying off at least 40% of its staff, and going to free distribution (if you can't sell it, give it away). Started in 1982 by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church, the Moonie Times has been a small but vocal voice of the right wing in D.C., featuring such blowhards as neocon Frank "Gaffer" Gaffney and former Poot Gingrich press aide Tony "The Blank" Blankley on its op-ed pages. It's lost some $2 billion recently, as the Moon family squabbles internally for the remaining assets.

As we've noted, the Moonie Times' circulation is less than that of such papers as the Allentown PA Morning Call. Strangely, though, the Washington, DC media Villagers seek out Moonie Times "reporters" when filling out a panel discussion on their political talk shows. Gotta get those widely-read, wingnut views out!

(photo: Newspaper founder/Messiah Rev. Moon appears at the Washington Times to announce the layoffs)

Best Double Entendre of the Year

"Tiger Woods continues to have problems with his putz." -- MSNBC's Keith Olbermann on last night's "Countdown" opening intro. Keith's #1 story last night was a pun-fest at Woods' expense ("birdies," "sand traps," etc.). Stories of his multiple affairs (two confirmed, one denied) are blossoming.

Why Woods believed he could escape the publicity stemming from his car accident is beyond us. As with many celebrities, Woods must have arrogantly assumed that he was entitled to, and could get away with, his infidelities because. . .well because he's Tiger Woods, golfer and billionaire endorser. (Why Woods would even think about messing around is also a mystery -- his wife's photo above is exhibit A in his insanity trial).

(photo: Playing those extra holes has been hard-on Tiger)

Quote of the Day

"Actually Beck is a problem of taste as well as ethics. He laughs and cries; he pouts and giggles; he makes funny faces and grins like a cartoon character; he makes earnest faces yet insists he is a clown; he cavorts like a victim of St. Vitus' Dance. His means of communicating are, in other words, so wide-ranging as to suggest derangement as much as versatility." -- Former Fux News Watch host Eric Burns, on the subject of nutball Glenn "Boo Hoo the Hoot" Beck. Burns was with Fux since it began in 1996, and was released in early 2008. He also describes Fux as a "right wing partial-news-but-mainly-opinion network." We're certain that Burns looks back on his years at Fux with considerable shame.

Rethug Kristol Ball Gazers

When you hear dire warnings about Democratic foreign policy (or health care and global warming, for that matter) coming from Rethugs and neocons, please keep in mind these fearless forecasts about what would happen when the U.S. turned over control of the Panama Canal in December 1999 (h/t to Al Kamen's "In the Loop" Kaplan Daily column):

"If we do nothing, I can guarantee you that within a decade, a communist Chinese regime that hates democracy and sees America as its primary enemy will dominate the tiny country of Panama, and thus dominate the Panama Canal..." Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (Rethug-LaLa Land), Dec. 7, 1999. Actually, numbnut, China sees America as its primary debtor.

"[the Clinton Administration was] allowing a scenario to develop where U.S. national security interests could not be protected without confronting the Chinese Communists in the Americas." Then-Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (Rethug-Miss-by-a-mile)

Well, here we are a decade later and, as Kamen points out, "Loop spotters placed for the last decade at strategic locations in Panama, Nicaragua and other likely invasion routes say they have yet to see any Chinese troop movements north toward Texas and Mississippi."