Who Is A Republican?

On April 10, we ran a piece, "What Is A Republican?" Today, we look at who is a Republican. As with the "what," the "who" also isn't a pretty picture. But it is instructive. If you're a Republican, here's a representative look at the company you keep:

Pols
The Preznit, Dead Eye Dick, Karl "Turdblossom" Rove, "Man Tan" Boehner, Mitch "Mitzi" McConnell, "Opie" Putnam, L'il Pat McHenry, Jim "Oily and Gassy" Inhofe, "Bridge to Nowhere" Stevens, Walnuts McCain, Willard "Muff" Romney, Perfesser Newt "I'm on Number 3" Gingrich, Rudy "So Am I" Giuliani.

Pundits and Fillosofers
Rush Limpballs, Bill O'Really?, Glenn Beck, Field Marshal Hannity, Wee Willie Kristol, *ucker Carlson, Bow Tie Will, Kraphammer, Michelle (Jesse) Malkin, Krazy [D]Ann Coulter, Doughy Pantload, Brent "Bozo" Bozell. Junior Varsity: (most of whom don't rate nicknames) Melanie Morgan, Cal Thomas, Michael Wiener Savage, Pammy Jugs, Dennis Prager, R. Emmett Tyrell III.

Cons Past, Present and Future
Jack Abramoff, Scooter Libby, Tom DeLay, Duke "Not So" Cunningham, Bob Ney, Mark Foley, Claude "Lightfingers" Allen, Grover Norquist, G. Gordon Liddy, Ollie North, Reps. Renzi and Doolittle. Demeritus (R.I.P.): Richard Nixon, Spiro Agnew, John Mitchell, Maurice Stans.

Ayatollahs
Jerry Pharisee Falwell, "Diamond Pat" Robertson, James Dobson, Wm. Donohue, Richard Land, Tony Perkins, Gary Bauer, Ted Haggard. Deacons: Rupert Murdoch, Roger Ailes

Wannabees
Joe Lieberman (Likud-CT), Tweety, Broderella, Washington Post (Fred Hiatt), CNN, L'il Russ Russert, ABC/Disney.

Front Organizations
NRA, Focus on Family, Catholic League, U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Faux News, NAM, Southern Baptist Convention, Rev. Moon Inc. (Washington Times, etc.), WSJ

A scary, sickening bunch of crackpots, sociopaths, hypocrites, liars, cowards, elitists, bedwetters and knuckledraggers, huh?! Makes us glad we're not who they are.