Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Talking Dick Tour


Andy Borowitz over at the Huffington Post imagines former (Vice) President Dead Eye Dick Cheney in a sound truck outfitted with the latest loudspeakers travelling to every village and town spreading the message: "Be Afraid." Springing from his undisclosed location, The Dick has unzipped his mouth to opine on torture (OK with him), national security (The Dick kept us safe) and the future of the Rethuglican cult (Limpballs!). Some have speculated that he's trying to build resistance against possible criminal charges that he violated U.S. and international law; on Sunday's "Face the Nation," The Dick said that Dumbya ordered the torture measures and was every bit as aware of what was going on as he was (hard to believe we put the words "aware" and "Dumbya" in the same sentence). I'm sure Dumbya appreciates that bit of disclosure from Mr. 15 percent approval rating.

Actually, Rethuglicans who worry about their disastrous electoral position must cringe every time The Dick erupts. The more he talks, the more independent voters turn Democratic. We here at Hackwhackers want to know how we can contribute to buying gas for The Dick's sound truck.

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