Department of Outrageous Hypocrisy

Who better than former (Vice) President The Dick to comment on Obama's supposed politicization of the Justice Department for the CIA torture probe than someone who wanted to use U.S. attorneys to use phony "voter fraud" cases to diminish Democratic voter turnout? The Dick is in fine form, full of phony outrage that DOJ is investigating activities that went beyond the Geneva Convention (and U.S. law) in torturing prisoners, when his only concern is for his own criminal liability (see the case of Scooter Libby). President Obama, of course, wanted just the opposite -- no investigation, turn the page on the Bushit Assministration, etc. -- of what the Justice Department is now doing with the special prosecutor to look into charges of torture.

Here's a suggestion: get The Dick on the witness stand, and make him lie under oath, repeatedly. That should be fairly simple, since he's incapable of telling the truth. Then follow the evidence where it takes you, and let the chips fall.

The Dick Lied? Say It Ain't So!

We are shocked, shocked!, that former (Vice) President "The Dick" Cheney has been accused of lying about CIA memos that purport to show that torture techniques worked against al Qaeda prisoners. The Dick engaged in deceit? Perish the thought!

Senate Armed Services Committee chairman Sen. Carl Levin said that an investigation by his committee into the claims of The Dick "gives the lie to Mr. Cheney's claims." The two CIA documents that The Dick claims prove that torture worked say nothing of lives saved, nor the value of torture techniques in obtaining actionable intelligence. Nada.

So let's declassify the documents, and let's have that "Truth Commission" that we've heard about. And let The Dick testify under oath.

Gen. Petraeus: "The Dick's" New Enemy

Gen. David Petraeus, commanding officer of all U.S. forces in the Middle East, said in an interview Sunday on Radio Free Europe that President Obama's decision to close Gitmo and to end torture of detainees would benefit the U.S.'s fight against terrorism. In doing so, Gen. Petraeus clearly sided with the President against former (Vice) President "The Dick" Cheney, who has been popping up everywhere to claim the opposite.

When he devised the militarily successful surge strategy for Iraq, the wingnuts allowed themselves a premature victory lap, even though Gen. Petraeus was far more cautious and skeptical about the Iraqi government's follow through on reform and reconciliation. Now, no doubt, these very same wingnuts are pounding their tiny fists in anger at Petraeus' rejection of The Dick's statements. Of course, they can always release that anger by enlisting in the armed forces, but as The Dick with his five deferments during Vietnam, they probably have "other priorities."

Pelosi vs. MSM

Villagers. Kool Kids of Beltway High. Stenographers for Wingnuttia. Call them what you will, but they certainly have a stiffy for Rethug talking points. Or, as Atrios puts it, "Republicans still rule their world." The torches are lit and the "mainstream media" are marching toward the Castle Pelosi, past the torture chambers of Duke Dick, past the non-existent bridge between al-Qaeda and Saddamville, happy morons taking fresh torches from the smiling Rethugs lining the road.

(Photo: "Oooohooeee-eeeee-oooo-aaahhhhaaaahhhoooo-eeeee! Another press release from Poot the Rethug thinker! Must re-type!")

Somebody Needs More "Target Practice"

Former President Bill Clinton was working the rope line at an appearance for Virginia gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe when he commented on Dead Eye Dick Cheney's recent outbursts. Clinton remarked about the The Dick, "I do hope he gets some more target practice before he goes out again." CNN has the video clip.

Be sure to watch Donna Brazile's excellent comments on the clip, in which she runs the clock out on Rethuglican hack Ed Gillespie. Notice Gillespie's expression when Wolf Blitzer says "all right, guys, we'll leave it there." Well done, Donna! Bwahahahahaha!!

The Talking Dick Tour

Andy Borowitz over at the Huffington Post imagines former (Vice) President Dead Eye Dick Cheney in a sound truck outfitted with the latest loudspeakers travelling to every village and town spreading the message: "Be Afraid." Springing from his undisclosed location, The Dick has unzipped his mouth to opine on torture (OK with him), national security (The Dick kept us safe) and the future of the Rethuglican cult (Limpballs!). Some have speculated that he's trying to build resistance against possible criminal charges that he violated U.S. and international law; on Sunday's "Face the Nation," The Dick said that Dumbya ordered the torture measures and was every bit as aware of what was going on as he was (hard to believe we put the words "aware" and "Dumbya" in the same sentence). I'm sure Dumbya appreciates that bit of disclosure from Mr. 15 percent approval rating.

Actually, Rethuglicans who worry about their disastrous electoral position must cringe every time The Dick erupts. The more he talks, the more independent voters turn Democratic. We here at Hackwhackers want to know how we can contribute to buying gas for The Dick's sound truck.

Quote of the Day

"The CIA inspector general in 2004 found that there was no conclusive proof that waterboarding or other harsh interrogation techniques helped the Bush Administration thwart any 'specific imminent attacks,' according to recently declassified Justice Department memos." -- Mark Seibel and Warren Stroebel writing for the McClatchy Newspapers.

As more is learned from declassified documents, it's becoming apparent that Dead Eye Dick Cheney is out-and-out lying about the value of the torture of detainees. At least Dumbya has the minimal integrity to STFU.