Rope-A-Pope Week

For those who will enjoy the Papal sweepstakes this week, here's a handy guide to the "top contenders," who despite differences in nationality, race and age all seem to have been elevated to the College of Cardinals by Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI or Pope John Paul II.  In other words, they'll be traditionalist and conservative.  Best known to Americans are Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York and Cardinal Sean O'Malley of Boston.   Dolan's elevation to the papacy would be a bad signal to victims of pedophile priests, to whom Dolan offered payments to leave the priesthood while serving as Archbishop of Milwaukee.  Sadly, that approach is probably widely accepted in the current Church hierarchy, which has treated the sexual abuse problem not as crimes, but as something to be hushed up with payoffs.  Dolan's also transparently political, making no secret of his approval of Rethuglican views towards women's health issues and same-sex marriage.

The prospects for a Pope that will clean up the financial and criminal corruption in the Church aren't particularly good.  What's more likely is a Pope that will go on the attack against Church critics (including nuns who are fighting for social justice) and avoid doing anything other than cosmetic reforms, as Church membership declines along with confidence in its leadership and relevancy.

BONUS:  We have late-breaking Catholic Church gay sauna news right here!  How convenient!

"A day ahead of the papal conclave, faces at the scandal-struck Vatican were even redder than usual after it emerged that the Holy See had purchased a €23 million (£21 million) share of a Rome apartment block that houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna."

"It's raining Cardinals, Hallelujah!"