"What You Need To Know" About The Jamokes Holed Up In Oregon (UPDATED)

Recently, the Onion provided some helpful information as to what we need to know about the right- wing domestic terrorists jamokes holed up at the Malheur federal wildlife refuge in Oregon.  Here's a snippet (h/t Silver Spring Bureau Chief Brian - TCIITM):

Are the protesters violent?

They have vowed to only seek a peaceful overthrow of the entire U.S. federal government. 

How long are they planning to stay?

As long as their supply of whiskey and bison chili lasts.
 
What is the militia ultimately hoping to achieve?

Garner enough attention over next few weeks to be brought onstage during rally for a low-polling GOP candidate.
 
Is the protest going to work?

Nope.

Amusing now, maybe not so later.

UPDATE:  Here's the list of supplies the jamokes have requested, misspellings and all. Clearly, this was a well- planned operation ("Boxer briefs - Medium/ Large /and Extra Large"?!) We kid you not!

The OR militants have updated their wish list. pic.twitter.com/ZmDB3XC4Ag

— JJ MacNab (@jjmacnab) January 9, 2016