Republican front-runner and neo-fascist poo-flinger Donald "Rump" Trump has won the South Carolina primary, according to the Associated Press. Rump's numbers have been hovering from 32 to 34 percent of the vote, with theocratic demagogue "Tailgunner Ted" Cruz and young cyborg Marco "Roboto" Rubio jockeying back and forth for second place in the low 20s. Rump is apparently doing well in parts of the state where evangelicals are prominent, a demographic that Tailgunner Ted had hoped to dominate.
(photo: The face of the Republican / New Confederate / Stupid / Shooter's Party. You're welcome.)
