Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Goodbye, Dr. Chaps!

In yesterday's primary (who knew?), the voters of Colorado bid a fond (?) farewell to ultra- homophobic State Rep. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt  Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt.  Don't remember him?  He's the former Navy chaplain (hence "Chaps") who was court-martialed for wearing his uniform to a political event (following years of insubordination), who then became a fixture on the right- wing Bible- thumping rube- shearing circuit.  Sensing the need to break down the wall between church and state, Dr. Chaps served one term in the Colorado legislature before giving up a run for reelection to go for a State Senate seat. As we may have mentioned, he lost (he only got 38% of the Republican vote).  Sad!

Wonkette runs down some of Herr Klingenschmitt's loonnuggets:
He knows why animals turn gay: Gay demons leaking from gay humans. 
He’s said that allowing a transgender kid to use the locker rooms of her choice amounts to visual rape of other girls (and of course that demons are at work there, too). 
He wants to exorcise the demons from atheist kids who objected to attending high school graduation in a church. 
He has a real, practical solution to the problem of wedding photographers who are oppressed by antidiscrimination laws: if you’re forced to take pictures of a homowedding, just let your customers know that you stamp the text of Romans 1:32 on the back of all your photos, to remind them that homosexxicans are “worthy of death.” That should be a real hit with the straight couples, too! 
He knows why the NSA is even a thing: Obama’s possessed by demons, and he wants to watch us all the time. 
He’s warned that Sen. Al Franken “wants to require pedophilia in all public schools, in the form of mandatory pro-gay lectures to all public school children.”
Don't feel sorry for Dr. Chaps.  No doubt he'll be back on the rube- shearing circuit soon, blaming his defeat on gay demons!  We think you're projecting again, Dr. Chaps!

BONUS:  Go ahead, laugh:

(Photo:  "Dr. Chaps" - leather? - Klingenschmitt recoiling from the gay demons in his head.)

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