Tailgunner Ted's Most Excellent Adventure (UPDATED)

We woke up this morning to laughter across America:



Tailgunner Ted Cruz's many fans on the internet piled on, but his college roommate at Princeton had the most interesting commentary:

Now imagine Ted Cruz is doing this four feet below you in the bottom bunk bed.

Yes, my misery very much appreciates your company.

— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) September 12, 2017

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) April 13, 2016

UPDATE:  Andy Borowitz' story and headline FTW --

Porn Industry Irrevocably Damaged by Association with Ted Cruz