We noted the other day that the latest fundraising scam from the malignant former guy's "Save America" PAC was sending out "Trump cards" in exchange for a contribution. Well, leave it to Alexandra Petri to answer your questions about the card's benefits (just a snippet):
What can I use my Trump Card for?
Winning!
Winning what?
Winning!
If I play my Trump Card in a game, do I automatically win the game?
Absolutely not, but it will allow you to say that the game was rigged against you and call the entire premise of the game into question. This is what is meant by winning.
What benefits do I get with my Trump Card?
A Trump Card!
Can I use my Trump Card to pay for things?
You can certainly try! Then when it isn’t accepted as a form of payment on the grounds that it is “some random card that has Donald Trump’s signature on it and a creepy picture of an eagle, not a valid credit card,” you can complain that you are being discriminated against for your political beliefs and create lots of problems.
The eagle looks kind of . . . Third Reich-y?
This is a simple misunderstanding! Just one of a series of isolated, totally spontaneous Trump-adjacent design mistakes that have been happening consistently without fail for the past five years!
One of the four designs for the card misspells the word “official.” Is the typo intentional?
The typo is proof of your card’s authenticity!
There's more at the link.
How much of a sad sack moron, and how deep into the cult of the sickest, most corrupt, authoritarian "president" in our history do you have to be to shell out $20 or $30 dollars for this Nazi- adjacent shit? (Rhetorical question.)
It's o.k. to laugh, just as long as we crush this sick cult at every opportunity.
