Courtesy of the Washington Post's great satirist Alexandra Petri:
... “What caused the Civil War?” is just one of a whole host of straightforward questions that no GOP presidential candidate can hope to answer. I have taken the liberty of predicting Haley’s responses to analogous questions. Try this at home and you, too, can enjoy a fun, alarming word salad where “capitalism” and “limited government” are thrown in at intervals, like pecans. Happy 2024!
Who is the current president of the United States?
Capitalism, of course, is so important.
Was it good or bad that a mob descended on the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, yelling “Hang Mike Pence” and trying to prevent certification of the presidential election?
(laughs) Don’t go easy on me! I think the Capitol is certainly, in the hearts of Americans, a place, and capitalism itself is so important. What do you think?
Do the villains in “Star Wars” seem like they’re based on Nazis?
(laughs) Wow, all right! Coming in with a real challenge! So, obviously, freedom is the most important thing. And we keep coming back to that question of, what can the government tell you to do or not do? I think it comes down to capitalism, of course, is good, and we need to do things to make sure that unaccountable bureaucrats aren’t wielding excess power. And stars are wonderful. But most important of all, what role does government play? Are we compensating the contractors who build our Death Stars?
Can you say something bad about the villains in “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” who were clearly Nazis?
Well, I think the villains were basically, you know, any time the free market doesn’t operate to produce maximum freedom. [snip]
If elected, will you force more people to give birth?
Government overreach is so bad and individual liberty is of course, freedom.
Are you afraid to say that slavery was bad?
Wow, a real doozy! (chuckles) I would never be afraid of freedom. Some things go without saying.
And Donald Trump is not currently president?
Well, of course, capitalism is so important.
There's more from Petri at the link.
Lightweight windsock Haley has fooled many people (looking at you, corporate media types), but time and time again reveals herself as "an altogether uninteresting person" (Benjamin Wittes) who has managed to rise in Republican politics largely based on her novel biography (for Republicans) as a daughter of immigrants from India ("Look at Nikki Haley! See, we're not prejudiced!"). Her transparent strategy has been to temporize and obfuscate in order to win some "independent" voters while not driving away MAGAts. Instead, her inane word salad answers to fundamental questions of freedom, democracy, and American history demonstrate a shallow cravenness that's in direct proportion to her ambition. Maybe this latest public example of her cowardice and unfitness will finally stick.
(Photo: Haley and her former mentor, "Be still, my tiny heart!" / Mark Wilson, Getty Images)
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