Those Republicans sure like their cosplaying. The =ugh= New York Post has the "salacious" tale of the husband of cosplaying Border Barbie Kristi Noem's "bimbofication fetish":
Former Department of Homeland Security chief Kristi Noem is “devastated” by salacious allegations her husband Bryon lives a double life where he cross-dresses and chats online with fetish models.
“Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time,” Noem’s representatives told The Post.
According to reporting by the Daily Mail, Bryon Noem chatted up women from the so-called “bimbofication” fetish scene, in which adult performers augment their breasts with massive amounts of saline to achieve a “Barbie doll”-like appearance. [Ed.: we believe that's called the Mar-a-lago look.]
Citing “hundreds” of messages purportedly sent by three women from the scene, Noem’s husband enthusiastically praised their heavily augmented appearances, and proclaimed he coveted “huge, huge ridiculous boobs,” according to the Mail. [Ed.: "huge ridiculous boob" - he must be a big fan of the Malignant Fascist!]
One photo the Mail claims Bryon Noem shared with the women features him wearing pink hot-pants and a flesh-colored, skin-tight suit.
He appears to have put balloons in his shirt to mimic comically oversized, lopsided breasts – complete with fake protruding nipples.
His face is fully visible in several of the photos, one with a completely straight visage and an other making a flirtatious kissy-face with pursed lips.
Bryon, who made his fortune in the insurance industry, allegedly sent women he met in the online fetish community some $25,000 via Cash app and PayPal as he admired their over-the-top bust sizes and “amazing” curves,” the DM reported.
HE traded selfies with one woman he pledged to worship like a “goddess,” telling her, “you turn me into a girl,” before asking if he should “put in leggings.”
One of the models claimed she once butt-dialed “Jason” and heard a voicemail greeting saying “Noem Insurance, leave a message.”
When she Googled Noem Insurance, she found pictures of Bryon and his DHS secretary wife, accordng to the Daily Mail.
When she confronted him about it, he reportedly told her that “he didn’t care”
The Post has not confirmed the details reported by the Mail.
The outlet spoke to national security experts who surmised her husband’s alleged proclivities could have left the former DHS secretary – who was fired last month – vulnerable to potential blackmail.
The Noems have three children, daughters Kassidy, 31, and Kennedy, 29 and a son, Booker, 23. Kassidy and Kennedy both have children of their own.
In a 2022 interview with Elysian, Kristi Noem said, “We are such a transparent family” over their willingness to put their family life out there, adding that they’re “an open book.” [Ed.: apparently the book is "Kinky Family Fetishes."]
However big questions have swirled about the state of the Noems’ marriage in recent years, primarily concerning the ousted DHS chief’s relationship with Trump confidant Corey Lewandowski.
Lewandowski, who is also married, has been by Noem’s side at high-profile events, even sitting side-by-side across from Guyanese President Irfaan Ali during a meeting in the South American country earlier this month.
Their cozy appearance came just weeks after she was grilled over the alleged affair in a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing in which she dodged questions as Bryon sat directly behind her. [Ed.: was he wearing Gucci or Prada?]
Well, if she spent more time with him, rather than Corey, she might not have been "blindsided." And they could have done their cosplaying as a family.
Here's one of the money shots via =ugh again= The Daily Mail:
On the obviously serious note that any foreign security service having this information would have made the former head of Homeland Security vulnerable to blackmail, who did her FBI background check? Was it handled personally by FBI Director Kash "No Credit" Patel or some other incompetent flunky? What a bizarre, dysfunctional regime full of bizarre, dysfunctional people.
(Photo: Kristi Noem Facebook)
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