WHCD Halted by Lone Gunman

 

The annual gathering of media elites and their wannabes, politicians they cover and random celebrities known as the White House Correspondents Dinner was abruptly halted last night as a man armed with guns and knives breached the security perimeter outside of the ballroom where the attendees gathered. From the Associated Press:

"A man armed with guns and knives stormed the lobby outside the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner attended by President Donald Trump on Saturday night, charging toward the ballroom in a chaotic encounter with Secret Service agents as guests dived under tables at the sound of shots being fired.

The president was uninjured and was rushed off the stage. The armed man, who officials said was a guest at the Washington Hilton where the dinner was being held, was taken into custody and was expected in court Monday. Police believe he opened fire and acted alone but did not say who was his intended target or describe a motive. [snip]

The shooting unfolded just outside the vast subterranean ballroom holding thousands of dinner guests, disrupting minutes after it began an annual event meant to honor journalism and the First Amendment that was being especially scrutinized this year because it was the first time since Trump became president that he had attended."

The man was identified as Cole Tomas Allen of Torrence, CA, a tutor and computer programmer who graduated in 2017 from CalTech with a mechanical engineering degree.

Oddly enough, in a press conference at the White House after the incident, the mentally disturbed Malignant Fascist used the incident to push for his enormous ballroom adjacent to the White House, which he's obsessed with. He also claimed that he wanted to continue the dinner, because he wanted to stick it to the compliant media in attendance, because it's always about him:

"The president said he wanted to continue the event, but understood that security protocol prevented it.

'I am ready, willing and able, and I was all set to really rip it,' Trump said of his planned speech. 'I said to my people, ‘This would be the most inappropriate speech ever made.’ But I don’t know if I could ever be as rough as I was going to be tonight. I think I’m going to be probably very nice.'”

Unfortunately, the correspondents association plans to reschedule the unethical, conflict of interest dinner soon.